Help me get my groove on

Every now and then, I stumble across something on the internet that thrills me.

Thunder Thighs by Miss Eaves is just that.

Speaking from the perspective of a thick girl who believes that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, I was tickled pink that someone wrote a song about something I like a lot.

A little jiggle.

Thus began the following playlist.

Tempo, by Lizzo:

MIKA’s Big Girl (worth it just to hear him sing, “Get yourself down to the Butterfly Lounge. Find yourself a big lady. . .”):

Just A Lil Thick by Trinidad James:

Strip, by Little Mix:

And Belly Bounce by Miss Eaves:

Got a song for thick girls?

I’ll include it in an updated post if you message me at michelle@unblunder.com.

Help me get my groove on.

Reservoir Dogs

True story.

Many of us go into labor with a birth plan.

Typically, we hope we can safely deliver our baby with no epidural, managing the pain through breathwork and focus.

I made a CD when I was pregnant with my son Duncan.

I intended to play it during my labor with him.

That plan got blown out the window when it was discovered that two of the four quadrants of fluid in my uterus had no fluid to cushion the baby.

So I had to IMMEDIATELY deliver him.

I was allowed to go home to pick up my things then I had to go DIRECTLY to the hospital.

Which is EXACTLY what I did.

But I forgot my CD.

This was back in the day when there were no iPods or iPhones.

All I had with me was a CD player with ONE CD IN IT and it was the soundtrack to RESERVOIR DOGS.

In case you’re not familiar with this movie, it’s a Quentin Tarantino movie about six strangers hired to carry out a robbery.

You can imagine it’s dark and violent, as most Tarantino movies are.

I made it through my labor pretty easily until the doctor broke my water then ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.

I immediately requested an epidural.

But it was too late.

So my then-husband played the CD in the CD player and our son Duncan was born while we listened to LITTLE GREEN BAG.

I feel like this detail explains a lot about my eldest son.

He’s a rebel and a fighter.

Also, he’s the kind of kid who will recklessly drive 109 miles an hour on a dark deserted freeway, post it to SnapChat, and scare the daylights out of his mom.

What do you expect.

He was born listening to a Tarantino soundtrack.

Don’t be a spectator

Years ago, I had an amazing piano teacher named Jane.

Jane would come to my house and work with me on new piano pieces and I must’ve spent at least two or three years under her tutelage.

Among other things, Jane was a HUGE Beatles fan.

So naturally, she bought me an anthology of Beatles songs that was about 3 inches thick.

The Beatles library is vast!

Anyway, for a young adult who had only been taught classical music, it was a nice change of pace and I reveled in my newfound musical opportunities.

I learned songs like “When I’m Sixty Four,” “Octopus Garden” and “Hey Jude.”

The anthology has long since disappeared but the other day as I was listening to my friend (who is an amazing blues vocalist) sing Beatles songs, it hit me. . .

I should learn the Beatles again!

Who doesn’t love the Beatles?

I mean, if I learned it when I was 20, what’s stopping me from picking it up again and trying my hand at it?

It could prove useful to a lot more people than just myself.

I feel the energy of Burning Man flowing through me reminding me to contribute something.

Don’t just be a spectator.

So, I bought a compilation of Beatles sheet music, for intermediate piano players.

And thus the great Beatles experiment begins.

Show off

I took piano lessons from the time I was in Pre-school all the way through college.

I was, as you might expect, pretty proficient at it.

I stopped playing piano (and singing in the chorale I belonged to) when my son Douglas died and honestly, I haven’t really given it a thought until recently.

At Burning Man, all sorts of talents are encouraged and I must admit I have some very talented friends who play guitar, sing, dance, spin fire, and so much more.

I’m sad that my skills on the piano have waned in the absence of their use.

Because I think it would be fun to play a song or two for my friends, and possibly even sing along with the music.

There is a more mundane reason why I haven’t played the piano in so long.

I have long nails and they go clickety clickty click on the keys and drive me absolutely bonkers!

But now that we’re in quarantine and I haven’t had my nails worked on in months, they’re all short and therefore TOTALLY CAPABLE OF PLAYING THE PIANO.

I am tempted to go find some sheet music and just DIG INTO IT.

Let’s see how much I can remember, shall we?

It’s ironic, because I don’t think my children have ever heard me play the piano.

That makes me sad.

I should show off.

Just a little.

Hold On

Super pink full moon last night, did you see it?

Supposedly, a pink moon signifies new birth, the promise of young buds in spring, and growth.

There’s been ZERO developments in my love life, not surprisingly.

We are in the middle of a pandemic and surviving is much more important than making a connection.

Although I am flirting with an Irishman in Scotland, a Brit in the United States, and not one but TWO AUSTRALIANS.

I have a SERIOUS NEED FOR DISTRACTION.

Sheltering-at-home has been harder for me this 5th week, mostly because my kids are suffering.

They clearly want to go out and be with friends and they can’t and it’s making them a little depressed.

I was feeling kind of lousy when a Facebook reminder popped up:

Virtual burner party, with a performance from my favorite bawdy songstress, who just happened to release a new video, The Unicorn Song.

[As a member of her Patreon, I got to see the video in preview so since it’s not on the internet, I’m just posting a link to all her OTHER videos which are equally depraved and irreverent.]

And just like that, my night improved.

We are not alone.

And we are all here for each other.

Hold on.

 

 

 

Rachel Lark

Today, something MAGICAL happened.

I got to watch Rachel Lark perform live from the comfort of my bed.

Indeed, she hosted a brunch livestream of her playing the ukulele and singing favorites like “Warm, Bloody and Tender,” “Picard” and “The Unicorn Song.”

I’m not sure I’ve said enough good things about the talented Ms. Lark.

I was first introduced to her music through my dear friend Dante who swore I would LOVE her and boy was he right.

I was lucky enough to see Rachel perform live at Burning Man at Dustfish in 2017 (I think).  I was with Tejas and Brad and they both looked a little sick when she sang “Warm, Bloody and Tender.”

Today, I made the leap and joined together with about 400 other people in supporting the wonderful Rachel Lark through her Patreon.

Yup.

So I’m just putting it out there, if you are looking for a good source of laughs, tears, and entertainment in isolation at home, consider supporting this lady right here who can help you out!

 

Mad Props

Mad props to Andrew Lloyd Webber, Lin Manuel Miranda, Pink and God knows all the other entertainers broadcasting their art over the internet during the current challenging times.

My friend Christy posted the first video, one of Andrew Lloyd Weber singing “All I Ask of You” while in isolation.

And I listened to that song all the way through.

When will I ever watch a master musician play a well-loved song again, I ask you?

Somehow (and I’m not sure how, Lin Manuel Miranda is also spreading cheer via Instagram.  He posted his own video as well: Everything’s All Right from Webber’s Jesus Christ Superstar:

Followed by the great one singing You’ll Be Back from Hamilton:

Heaven help me, my dorky theater-junkie musical-loving teenager is beside herself with happiness.

It’s the simple things, no?

And then of course, the incomparable Pink took to the internet with her own soulful rendition of Bob Dylan’s eternal favorite “Make You Feel My Love.”

View this post on Instagram

To make you feel my love 😍 rehearsals

A post shared by P!NK (@pink) on

NOTE:  In the process of making this post, I discovered that Andrew Lloyd Webber and Lin Manuel Miranda are raising money for out of work artists via Broadway Cares.

Bawdy Storytelling

I happen to love some musicians who skirt the edges of appropriateness with their music.

Have you ever heard of Richard Cheese?

He cracks me up.

He takes hits and sings them Lounge Singer Style.

Hits like Rape Me (by Nirvana), Me So Horny, and Only Happy When It Rains (by Garbage).

It’s like a comedy act and a musical performance rolled into one.

I also happen to like Garfunkel and Oates – a comedy-folk duo performing satirical songs about things like blowjobs and sex.

My sister has jokingly suggested that our family song be “The Loophole” – a song about anal sex.

Today I was introduced to Rachel Lark (by my friend Dante) who, in my humble opinion, is one of the greatest bawdy storytellers out there.

Her song “Warm, Bloody, and Tender,” is about a woman trying to have a tryst with a man while simultaneously hiding the face that she just got her period.

Genius!

Have we all been there ladies?

I think we have.

And the song “You Only Live Once (The Asshole Song)” is about a woman who is trying to convince her boyfriend to let her rim him.

OMG!

Not safe for work?

You bet.

But funny like a drag queen at a Monster truck rally.

Maybe I’m just warped that way, but I love me some inappropriateness and sexual innuendo.

The best part:  Rachel Lark is a burner and performed at Burning Man 2016 at Center Camp and Dustfish.  And I got to see her.

So take a moment, turn up your speakers, close your eyes and. . .

. . . enjoy at your own risk!