Hold On

Super pink full moon last night, did you see it?

Supposedly, a pink moon signifies new birth, the promise of young buds in spring, and growth.

There’s been ZERO developments in my love life, not surprisingly.

We are in the middle of a pandemic and surviving is much more important than making a connection.

Although I am flirting with an Irishman in Scotland, a Brit in the United States, and not one but TWO AUSTRALIANS.

I have a SERIOUS NEED FOR DISTRACTION.

Sheltering-at-home has been harder for me this 5th week, mostly because my kids are suffering.

They clearly want to go out and be with friends and they can’t and it’s making them a little depressed.

I was feeling kind of lousy when a Facebook reminder popped up:

Virtual burner party, with a performance from my favorite bawdy songstress, who just happened to release a new video, The Unicorn Song.

[As a member of her Patreon, I got to see the video in preview so since it’s not on the internet, I’m just posting a link to all her OTHER videos which are equally depraved and irreverent.]

And just like that, my night improved.

We are not alone.

And we are all here for each other.

Hold on.

 

 

 

Rachel Lark

Today, something MAGICAL happened.

I got to watch Rachel Lark perform live from the comfort of my bed.

Indeed, she hosted a brunch livestream of her playing the ukulele and singing favorites like “Warm, Bloody and Tender,” “Picard” and “The Unicorn Song.”

I’m not sure I’ve said enough good things about the talented Ms. Lark.

I was first introduced to her music through my dear friend Dante who swore I would LOVE her and boy was he right.

I was lucky enough to see Rachel perform live at Burning Man at Dustfish in 2017 (I think).  I was with Tejas and Brad and they both looked a little sick when she sang “Warm, Bloody and Tender.”

Today, I made the leap and joined together with about 400 other people in supporting the wonderful Rachel Lark through her Patreon.

Yup.

So I’m just putting it out there, if you are looking for a good source of laughs, tears, and entertainment in isolation at home, consider supporting this lady right here who can help you out!

 

Mad Props

Mad props to Andrew Lloyd Webber, Lin Manuel Miranda, Pink and God knows all the other entertainers broadcasting their art over the internet during the current challenging times.

My friend Christy posted the first video, one of Andrew Lloyd Weber singing “All I Ask of You” while in isolation.

And I listened to that song all the way through.

When will I ever watch a master musician play a well-loved song again, I ask you?

Somehow (and I’m not sure how, Lin Manuel Miranda is also spreading cheer via Instagram.  He posted his own video as well: Everything’s All Right from Webber’s Jesus Christ Superstar:

Followed by the great one singing You’ll Be Back from Hamilton:

Heaven help me, my dorky theater-junkie musical-loving teenager is beside herself with happiness.

It’s the simple things, no?

And then of course, the incomparable Pink took to the internet with her own soulful rendition of Bob Dylan’s eternal favorite “Make You Feel My Love.”

View this post on Instagram

To make you feel my love 😍 rehearsals

A post shared by P!NK (@pink) on

NOTE:  In the process of making this post, I discovered that Andrew Lloyd Webber and Lin Manuel Miranda are raising money for out of work artists via Broadway Cares.

Bawdy Storytelling

I happen to love some musicians who skirt the edges of appropriateness with their music.

Have you ever heard of Richard Cheese?

He cracks me up.

He takes hits and sings them Lounge Singer Style.

Hits like Rape Me (by Nirvana), Me So Horny, and Only Happy When It Rains (by Garbage).

It’s like a comedy act and a musical performance rolled into one.

I also happen to like Garfunkel and Oates – a comedy-folk duo performing satirical songs about things like blowjobs and sex.

My sister has jokingly suggested that our family song be “The Loophole” – a song about anal sex.

Today I was introduced to Rachel Lark (by my friend Dante) who, in my humble opinion, is one of the greatest bawdy storytellers out there.

Her song “Warm, Bloody, and Tender,” is about a woman trying to have a tryst with a man while simultaneously hiding the face that she just got her period.

Genius!

Have we all been there ladies?

I think we have.

And the song “You Only Live Once (The Asshole Song)” is about a woman who is trying to convince her boyfriend to let her rim him.

OMG!

Not safe for work?

You bet.

But funny like a drag queen at a Monster truck rally.

Maybe I’m just warped that way, but I love me some inappropriateness and sexual innuendo.

The best part:  Rachel Lark is a burner and performed at Burning Man 2016 at Center Camp and Dustfish.  And I got to see her.

So take a moment, turn up your speakers, close your eyes and. . .

. . . enjoy at your own risk!

Tahoe Trip: Rock, Paper, Scissors

If I told you that the concert that I went to at Harvey’s Lake Tahoe with Sting and Peter Gabriel, two brilliant Englishmen, was AWESOME I would be understating the experience.

It was MORE THAN AWESOME.

It was epic.

A once-in-a-lifetime experience.

History in the making.

Sting shaved off his beard and was looking particularly devilishly handsome.

Especially when he rocked his hips during “Sledgehammer.”

I’ve never been fond of sledgehammers, but at the moment I was convinced that he could “sledgehammer” me and I’d be quite happy with the outcome.

My sister and I drank nothing but water at the concert so we were sobering up as the concert progressed which might be why I remember more of the end of the concert than the beginning.

Of course it could also be that they pulled out all the stops as the concert climaxed.

My heels, which I’d been wearing ALL DAY since 5 am, failed me and so I had to sit for most of the concert and watch the show on the Jumbotron.

Here are some of my favorite pics from the concert:

IMG_9948 IMG_9949
IMG_9952 IMG_9955

 

Naked karaoke

I karaoked.

Yes, I did.

But first, let me tell you a little bit about the MeetUp.

About 20 men showed up.

And the only woman there was me.

Nice odds, eh?

Anyway, it was a sausage fest.

There I am, sitting at a table full of men, while someone GARGLED “Thunderstruck.”

Yes, he practically GARGLED the song.

It was wild!

So I get up to sing and discover that the lyrics are being projected to a screen across the room and ME WITHOUT MY GLASSES, I CAN’T READ THEM VERY WELL.

Needless to say, my performance didn’t go as planned.

I was pitchy.

Stiff.

I even started singing in harmony.

Thankfully it was over in less than 5 minutes.

But I’ll tell you this – I’m not going to win any awards for my performance.

I think I’m going to ditch “We Belong” as my karaoke song and find a new one.

“Dancing Queen” by ABBA.

Or “My Immortal” by Evanescence.

Truthfully I love “What’s Going On” by Four Non-Blondes, but I’m just not sure I could pull off such a powerful song.

That, and I have friends from Burning Man who PUT ME TO SHAME when they sing that song.

So there you have it, karaoke on a Wednesday night.

What could be more embarrassing?

I suppose naked karaoke.

That would be a sight!

None of this is safe for work

I’m not entirely sure how I found out about bawdy storytelling.

It all started with Richard Cheese (aka Dick Cheese) who my sister introduced me to one day.

Admittedly, he is less bawdy and more lounge singer. . .

Then my fondness for inappropriate lyrics expanded with Rachel Lark.

I think it was my friend Dante who clued me in to the bawdy songstress.

I listened to her songs and laughed my ass off, listening to the graphic lyrics of ‘Warm, Bloody and Tender.’

And I was lucky enough to see her play at Dustfish at Burning Man.

I’m only too happy to share my love of bawdy storytelling with new friends I make.

And the other day, I got into a bawdy storytelling war with my new friend Nathan.

He saw me my Rachel Lark and raised me one Steven Lynch.

Have you heard his song about a gerbil?

Oh God!

You’ll blush but you’ll laugh.

I brought up Garfunkel and Oates.

Who hasn’t heard ‘The Blowjob Song’ or ‘The Loophole’?

Of course, none of these songs are appropriate and you must come back and listen to them when you’re in the privacy of your own home.

None of this is safe for work.

Tahoe Trip: Rock, Paper, Scissors

If I told you that the concert that I went to at Harvey’s Lake Tahoe with Sting and Peter Gabriel, two brilliant Englishmen, was AWESOME I would be understating the experience.

It was MORE THAN AWESOME.

It was epic.

A once-in-a-lifetime experience.

History in the making.

Sting shaved off his beard and was looking particularly devilishly handsome.

Especially when he rocked his hips during “Sledgehammer.”

I’ve never been fond of sledgehammers, but at the moment I was convinced that he could “sledgehammer” me and I’d be quite happy with the outcome.

My sister and I drank nothing but water at the concert so we were sobering up as the concert progressed which might be why I remember more of the end of the concert than the beginning.

Of course it could also be that they pulled out all the stops as the concert climaxed.

My heels, which I’d been wearing ALL DAY since 5 am, failed me and so I had to sit for most of the concert and watch the show on the Jumbotron.

Here are some of my favorite pics from the concert:

IMG_9948 IMG_9949
IMG_9952 IMG_9955