Category Archives: Travel

My spirit animal may be a koala

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2019 was a tame year for me.

Granted, I went to Burning Man.

But the closest I got to real adventure was swapping sexy photos with an Australian guy who is cycling the globe.

Now THAT’S adventure.

Nights under the stars.

Days filled with sunshine and exercise.

I’ll bet he can eat 10,000 calories a day and not gain weight because of all the exercise he is getting.

He reminds me of another Aussie friend, Charlie.

Charlie used to get blindfolded and taken into the Australian Outback where he’d be left with a thermos of water and some energy bars and he had to find his way back to civilization.

He once went on a retreat by himself to the Outback where he could do nothing, not listen to music, not read a book.

He spent his time thinking, which to me seems like torture, but to him was a welcome change.

Out of all the men I’ve dated, I find it interesting that the most  adventurous men I’ve met are all Australian.

It’s just further proof that I need to get my ass on a plane to Australia and enjoy a little time down under, watching the toilets swirl the other direction.

All this is just to say that Australia is calling my name and I’ve received her message loud and clear.

My spirit animal may just be a koala.

Blue gal in a red state

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My trip to Missouri was relatively uneventful.

Which is good when you’re driving an unfamiliar rental car on an Army base filled with Military Police just jonesing to pull you over for the slightest infraction.

In the short time I was driving on base, I saw no less than three people get pulled over so I’m happy I made it out unscathed.

Did Missouri scare me?

A little.

Their love of Donald Trump was evident.

There was a billboard proclaiming “Thank you President Trump for making America great again.”

*cough*

This after his divisive statements about women of color in Congress.

It’s fine.

I survived.

I even survived an old vet telling me he loves California but “hates our politics.”

If anyone is entitled to an opinion on the matter, it’s a vet since he fought for the freedom to speak one’s mind.

One observation about Missouri:  They must really be into tattoos.

There was a tattoo parlor on nearly every corner.

No kidding.

And none of them looked like the type of establishment you’d want to frequent.

So I survived my trip to Missouri.

And barring any more Military Police training for my son and future graduations, I’ll probably never go back there.

And I’m okay with that.

Hug Therapy

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michelleIt’s been a rough three weeks for me.

First, I got the flu on the eve of my trip to Florida to meet The Swede and I had to cancel.

All that vacation prep down the tube:  nails, pedicure, body scrub, spray tan, hair.

I felt very sorry for myself, I’ll have you know.

But just as well since I have a busted pussy that I’m not allowed to use.

Speaking of the busted pussy, it’s screaming at me right now from the biopsy.

To be honest, it burns something fierce and I’m really irritated that I have to deal with the painful aftermath of the biopsy while trying to focus on work.

Someone should bring me cake, just to cheer me up and remind me that my busted pussy is only temporary.

At least, that’s my hope.

Results next week.

Until then I’ll just have to keep living this celibate lifestyle, hoping and praying that everything turns out normal.

And I’m not one to complain but it sucked to go to unSCruz for five days and not be able to flirt AT ALL.

I love flirting.

Breathe.

Flirt.

Breathe.

Flirt.

Fortunately, I was able to hug A LOT of people.

Hugs are the exact therapy I need to treat all my worries.

Send virtual hugs, please.

I’m in need of some.

Fort Myers

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So now that I’ve got the clothing situation under control for my trip to Fort Myers, I’m starting to get curious about what there is to do there besides watch exhibition girl’s hockey.

Personally, I’m intrigued by a few things – tours of the Everglades, Cajun food restaurants, distilleries/breweries and Manatee Park.

I’ve never seen a manatee in real life.

It’s not like there’s a place in the Bay Area you can go to watch those gentle giants frolic in the water eating their veggies.

It would be SUPER COOL to actually get to see some manatees.

Now, a tour of the Everglades, that’s just a MUST SEE.

Crocodiles and alligators, oh my!

I mean, I’ve seen Claude, the albino alligator at the San Francisco Academy of Arts and Sciences, but that’s about it.

Mind you, I want to be in a REALLY BIG BOAT while scoping out alligators and crocodiles.

I’ve seen ‘Anaconda’ and know what happens when you underestimate the capabilities of wildlife.

Now a Cajun food restaurant is a MUST because I’ve always dreamed of eating a pile of seafood just heaped on the table with potatoes and ears of corn.

Yummy with a spoon delicious, is what I’d call it.

Also, The Swede really LOVES hot and spicy food so I’m sure I could get him to enjoy a Cajun restaurant or two.

I just have to figure out where the best one is.

No biggie.

I’m not sure The Swede and I can tour a distillery with his daughter in tow, so this might not happen but there LITERALLY IS A FORT MYERS BREWERY that we could visit.

So much to do, so little time, especially when you factor in all the time we’re going to spend on the beach.

Although, given that they are more melanin-challenged than I am it’s likely that we will need to get out of the sun for at least a little while during the day.

Since I’m poaching on The Swede’s vacation, I’m going to leave the details up to him, but should I be asked what I’d like to do, I’ve got some answers sure to entertain.

Happy yellow

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Trying to recover from my disastrous online sundress shopping experience, I finally gave up and did a mega search for yellow sundresses.

Why?

Because once upon a time I imagined I’d be going to Florida with a yellow dress and I bought a matching flower crown to go with it:

Then the dress fell through.

Oh, what’s a girl to do but SHOP SOME MORE?!

I found a dress to go with my flower crown:

And I got earrings, shoes, and a clutch to match:

You’ve got to picture a mega top knot bun surrounded by my little yellow flower crown, similar to this one with big blue flowers:

Definitely worthy of a nice night out with The Swede and his daughter.

I’m so excited!

And the dress fits, what’s more.

So you might as well go ahead and color me happy.

I just love my sunny, happy, yellow dress!

Drat!

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So my dresses finally arrived in the mail.

The first one was a yellow wrap around midi dress that was so lovely:

I put it on only to discover that it didn’t WRAP AROUND MY BODY.

There was this HUGE GAP where cleavage coverage should be.

I was literally falling out of the dress.

So it’s a no-go for Florida.

Then I tried on the other dress:

Sadly it too did not fit so well across my bust either.

These 38Gs are really causing problems!

So I’m back to square one.

I literally have NO DRESSES to wear to Florida and I’m panicking.

I need to go through my wardrobe and see what works.

Of course, all my summer dresses are buried behind all the winter dresses.

So it’s going to take effort and some maneuvering to check out what’s in my closet.

Tejas suggested that I wear this fishnet dress with my bathing suit:

But somehow, no matter how beach-appropriate it is, I just can’t see myself wearing it anywhere but the playa in Black Rock City.

Since I don’t have time to order online, wait for delivery and hope the dress fits, it looks like I’m going to have to shop the hard way. . .

. . . off the rack in a store.

Sigh.

We know how much I HATE that.

Maybe I can get Barbara to advise me where to go and what to try on.

She’s always fashionable and is good at shopping.

She’s the polar opposite of me.

I don’t want to set foot in a store and she can’t buy anything without touching it first.

Just what I need right now!

Florida, here I come

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I haven’t been speaking about The Swede much because there hasn’t been much to say.

He’s still in Sweden.

I’m still 5,384 miles away in California.

Sadly, he did not make it out to the bay area for Christmas break.

But that doesn’t mean I won’t get to see him.

He’s heading to Florida for a youth hockey tournament with his daughter, the goalie.

And he’s invited me to join him.

Woot!  Woot!

Yes indeed, it looks like I’ll be packing my bags and visiting him in Florida.

Doesn’t that just sound AMAZING?

I’ve never been to Florida, so this will be my first time.

Am I excited?

You bet!

The Goalie will be celebrating her birthday in Florida and I’m invited to join in the festivities.

Florida AND a birthday?!

How much fun is that going to be?

I literally can’t wait for April to roll around.

First, I visit my sister in Reno for a spa weekend.

Then I jet off to Florida to see my Swede.

April is going to be a banner month for me.

Happy dance!

Long time, no Swede

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It’s true.

I haven’t seen The Swede since I visited him in Stockholm over the holiday break.

We still keep in touch.

He called me on my birthday.

I talked to him 4 days later when it was his turn to celebrate a birthday.

Right now he’s in Barcelona at a trade convention.

He invited me to “celebrate our birthdays together” in Barcelona but I wasn’t able to pull off a last minute trip to Spain.

Not enough vacation time.

I’m trying though.

There’s nothing I’d like more than to spend another holiday break in Sweden, hanging with The Swede and his daughter, trying to learn Swedish, drinking glogg, and “cheating” at Monopoly.

I use the term “cheat” loosely because I prefer to think of it as “redistributing my wealth.”

I miss The Swede and I’m hoping he comes to California again to visit.

There’s a small possibility that he’ll be here with his daughter for the holiday break.

I’m trying not to think about it because if I do, I start planning out all the places I want to take them and all the activities I want to do with them.

San Francisco, Santa Cruz, Half Moon Bay, Monterey. . .

There’s SO MUCH TO DO and they need to COME TO CALIFORNIA so I can fulfill my desire to be their tour guide and show them all the places near and dear to my heart.

There’s so much that makes California a wonderful place to live.

And there’s people I need to introduce them to.

Just give me an excuse to plan and I’ll run away with it.

Long time, no Swede.

Homage to Sweden

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I’m sure you all know by now that I had a FABULOUS time in Sweden.

Even in the winter, Stockholm and the surrounding areas were beautiful and inviting.

I must say, I loved it so much I hope to go back.

And it goes without saying that I’ll get to see The Swede if I head over again.

Not even the 12-hour plane light can deter me from going.

Now.

You know I’m a planner.

I actually bought a pair of bikini bottoms from Globalkinis with the Swedish flag on them for my trip to Sweden.

I imagined The Swede discovering them in the middle of fooling around.

Surprise!

But they didn’t arrive before I left for Sweden.

Sad face.

But now, The Swede might be coming for unSCruz.

Perhaps, if we’re lucky, even Burning Man.

And I’m pretty sure that the bikini bottom will go GREAT with my Swedish flag burnout tank top.

Even if he doesn’t make it, I still might wear the set.

You know, as my homage to Sweden (and The Swede).

CHEESE!

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One of my FAVORITE things I did in Sweden was visit a cheese shop in Gamla Stan (Old Town) with The Swede.

The way to my heart is not through sweets but through CHEESE!

The Swede and I decided to have a nice cheese tray after dinner, complete with a selection of wine.

[Now, being on a diet, it makes me DROOL to think of cheese and wine!]

We stepped into a small store in Stockholm and I was overwhelmed with the smell of aging cheese.

Funky yet yummy.

Mmmmmmmm!

We selected a cheese, sampled it and approved of it.

Then another.

And another.

All in all, we selected 5 cheeses of varying degrees of softness, ripeness, and gooeyness.

All VERY delicious.

Then we went to the SPECIAL store to buy wine.

In case you didn’t know, only one chain of stores, which I think are run by the government, can sell liquor.

So we go inside and The Swede tells me he wants SWEET white wine.

Okay.

Each wine had a label that graphically represented how sweet that wine was.

And I ready the graphic BACKWARDS.

So instead of getting sweet white wine, we got regular white wine.

Ah well.

I think The Swede forgave me.