Bonus!

One of the things I LOVE about Village Meetings is that they usually have a THEME and people get all dressed up.

Last month, our host picked the theme ‘’Orange” for his Village Meeting.

Yesterday he changed it to STEAMPUNK, on account of the Airpusher Steampunk-themed event in San Francisco that same evening.

So people can get dressed up and go to BOTH events without a wardrobe change.

We are burners.

We take our outfits seriously.

In any case, I am glad I won’t have to drag out the ONLY orange clothing I have – an orange tunic and several pairs of orange print leggings.

They are such a MOM thing to wear.

I’d look like a bad LuLaRoe ad.

In any case, I also don’t feel like dragging out ALL MY STEAMPUNK clothes.

That’s the one complaint I have about the Steampunk style – so many layers and accessories.

So I did the next best thing:

I bought a pair of Steampunk leggings off of Amazon.

I also happen to have a Steampunk-ish jacket I can wear with it (though the buttons are ALL WRONG):

I also have a pretty cool brown Steampunk hat which I got off of ebay.

A milliner at The Great Dickens Faire once told me it was “busy” but WTF, I don’t care.

Here’s the remainder of the outfit –  minus the accessories:

I’ve finally reached a point in my costume catalog that I no longer need to go shopping for new outfits when there’s a new event.

Bonus!

Of course, the trick now is FINDING it!

Mother of boys

I got sick this week.

This is notable for one reason:

It was an “All exits, no waiting” scenario.

And since there’s only one toilet and the exits are on opposite ends of me, I RUINED the bathroom.

First time this ever happened to me.

My guess is that I either caught the norovirus or I got food poisoning.

From sushi.

How awful is that?

I can’t even look at a slice of sake without feeling sick to my stomach.

The good news is I survived and I’m back at work.

The bad news is that it feels like I’ve been hit by a train.

Body aches up the wazoo. . .

Or OUT the wazoo, as it is in my case.

The worst part of it all, besides ACTUALLY being sick, is that I had an audience.

Round one: My youngest son watched me clean the walls in the bathroom and then TOLD ALL HIS FRIENDS ABOUT IT. He has also taken to calling me “Poopy McPooperson.”  So there’s that.

Round two: My oldest son watched me throw up in a garbage can and proceeded to tell me that it was happening to me because I wouldn’t buy him a $45,000 sports car.

That’s the kind of sympathy you get when you’re the mother of boys.

Comforts of home

One of the things I’ve noticed about going to Burning Man is that I now oogle RVs and shade structures.

It’s an interesting phenomenon.

I never used to care when I passed an RV.

I never paid attention to shade structures.

Now, I’m all about them.

Shade structure with walls, awesome!

How long does it take to set up?

Thirty foot RV!

How much water can it hold?

Wood on a woodpile?

I can make that into something!

I’ve become a bit of a scavenger.

If I think I can reuse something, even if it’s on the garbage pile, I grab it.

I’m not the only one who does this.

My friends all suffer from the same affliction.

Garbagerecyclitis.

Shadestructureenvy.

RVlust.

I can tell you this much, burners are some of the cleanest people I know.

Okay, maybe they’re not clean, but they’re neat.

They’ll chase a paper bowl blowing across the playa for a quarter of a mile to pick it up and put it in the trash.

So there’s that.

Recently, I bought a shade structure for Burning Man.

Now, I ALREADY have a shade structure for Burning Man but it’s 20 feet by 20 feet and is a bitch to set up.

This one is 10 feet by 10 feet and it has WALLS!

It should be MUCH EASIER to set up.

We’ll find out for sure at unSCruz, though.

I’m thinking I might take it to the playa (the playa will destroy it though).

It’ll require quite a few rachet straps to keep in tethered to the ground during the wind storms.

So in case you’re wondering what I think about as a burner, it’s basically how to set up camp faster, neater, cleaner, with recycled products, and still have all the “comforts” of home.

There is no such thing as too cold

It’s going to be COLD in Watsonville during the night for unSCruz.

Like in the 40s.

For a California girl (who is sleeping alone), that’s COLD!

I’ve gotten an offer from one man who is willing to sleep with me for the duration of the event.

And while he is a handsome, hot-blooded, American male, I think I’m going to pass.

I should be able to stay warm for a few reasons:

  1. I recycled my 10’ x 14’ tent and am now sleeping in an 8’ x 7’ tent. The smaller the tent, the less bodies it takes to heat it up, right?
  2. I’m bringing a sleeping bag rated to 10 degrees. I plan to layer it under my comforter to stay nice and toasty warm.
  3. I bought an electric blanket off of Amazon that runs off of batteries! Who even KNEW these existed?!

I really wish The Swede could be there with me.

He’s going to be in Sweden where it’s MUCH COLDER than 40 degrees and where he SCOFFS at my California girl complaints that it’s too cold.

LOL.

He is a Viking.

There is no such thing as too cold.

Shock and awe

One of the things I LOVE about The Swede is that he’s a newbie to the burn.

It’s so much fun acculturating someone to the principles and what to expect when you’re on the playa.

Apparently, the acculturation starts now, though.

While we were FaceTiming, I happened to mention that I bought a ticket to the burn for him.

He said, “I have to go to Burning Man now.”

Of course I told him I could sell it in a hot minute, no problemo.

But it cracked me up that he didn’t know tickets sold out in 30 minutes when they went up for sale.

He’s blessed to have me as a friend looking out for him!

I still am not 100% sure he’ll be at this burn.

I’ll believe it when he buys his ticket from me; that’s when I’ll know for sure he’s coming.

When he’s got skin in the game.

I think we will be tent camping at Burning Man.

  1. Because I can’t afford an RV on my own.
  2. So we can get some privacy (i.e. no Tejas).
  3. Because I kinda feel like everyone needs to experience their first Burning Man in a tent.

There’s something about having to figure out how to live out of a tent for a week in the desert that really drives the experience home.

You’re quite literally LIVING IN THE DUST.

You have to insulate your cooler.

You get to experience blazing hot temperatures in your tent during the day and freezing cold temperatures at night.

You have to fancy about with a shade structure, in the hopes it’ll help keep your tent cooler than a sauna.

In 2015, for my first burn, I had precisely 18 totes with all my supplies for the burn.

Eighteen!!

That’s how prepared I was.

Fortunately for The Swede, I have all the gear we’ll need to camp this year.

So he only needs to figure out what to wear.

Still, I can’t wait to see the look on his face when we hit the Gate line.

Shock and awe, folks.

At it’s best!

Barely there underwear

I packed for the Pagan Bunny Burn and managed to keep my costumes down to one and a half totes.

Plush oneies take up a lot of space, apparently.

Also, tutus and bunny masks.

None of which I wore, ironically.

It was too cold to wear anything besides onesies.

At the last minute, I realized that I FORGOT panties!

It figures, I’d pack absolutely EVERYTHING I need for a pagan bunny burn EXCEPT underwear.

And socks.

I almost forgot my socks.

I find this VERY amusing because at the last burn, I forgot my panties and had to go around commando for the last part of the burn.

Normally, this isn’t a problem.

Many of my costumes REQUIRE that I NOT wear underwear.

Who needs to see my panties poking out under some hot pants or short shorts?

But at the Bunny Burn?

Under a tutu?

It’s a MUST!

Dealing with panty issues is pretty common for me.

I’m always trying to find the right thing to wear under each outfit so that my panties don’t show or they show and are appropriate for the outfit I’m wearing (i.e. pink ruffle butt panties under a see-through pink tutu).

So finding these babies on Amazon was a Godsend:

The “Knicker Sticker” which you stick to the crotch of your clothing.

Perfect for my black short shorts that lace up the side.

It’s a nice little adhesive patch that will keep my shorts from getting (ahem) moist.

Then there’s the Shibue Strapless Panty which is like an adhesive thong.

Same principle and use, just a little larger surface area.

Also, and this is a BIG ALSO, these adhesive panties will literally take up NO SPACE in my clothing tote, so BONUS!

Disposable , barely-there underwear?

I’m down for that.

Hormone Shower

It comes as no surprise to ANYBODY that I like men with beards.

The Swede, however, prefers a clean shaven face.

And this is fine with me.

He has such a handsome face.

Great bone structure!

But when that guy gets SCRUFFY, boy does it get me going!

The other day he placed a video call to me.

And his face popped up on my screen and HE WAS SCRUFFY!

My ovaries shuddered a little bit from excitement.

I LOVE a scruffy man.

Personally, I think The Swede should do it more often just to play with me.

My favorite pic of him was taken two days into unSCruz 2017 when he had an extra day’s growth and wild hair.

Of course, I ALSO like The Swede in a suit and tie, with a smooth face, and perfectly combed hair.

He does lumberjack AND business professional EQUALLY GOOD.

But let me tell you, it gets me a little excited to think of him at Burning Man, for a week, not shaving.

My Lord!

I will be BESIDE myself with hormones!

A nice little hormone shower, that’s what I’ll be taking WHILE WE’RE ON THE PLAYA!

Who needs sleep, anyways?

The thing that I remember MOST about unSCruz last year (besides some stellar “naps” with The Swede) was how FRIGGING COLD it was in the evenings.

I brought this to wear at night:

Now, there are two things wrong with this.

  1. It is obviously not a cold weather romper. In fact, I doubt any romper is appropriate for cold weather.
  2. I can’t figure out how to get into it sober, let alone figure out how to get into it when I’m drunk, in the dark, in a tent, with The Swede watching. There’s just too many straps and moving parts.

Because of this, I did something I almost never do.

I slept in the nude.

And let me tell you, I was SNUGGLED UP AGAINST THE SWEDE THE WHOLE TIME.

Why it is that men are like furnaces when it’s cold but my ass is like an ice cube?

Apparently during the night, I STOLE all the covers and The Swede had to wake me up and ask for the covers back.

Of course, I obliged.

Then I snuggled with him to warm HIM up.

Because I’m sweet like that.

This time around there will be no Swede, warm or cold, to keep me company.

I am sleeping in a small 7 foot by 8 foot tent.

I’m less than enthusiastic about my prospects for keeping warm at night.

You see, I much prefer a human body next to me instead of a pillow.

But somehow I’m sure I’ll survive.

And who needs sleep anyways?

Cozy

Now that I’m back from the Pagan Bunny Burn, I’m looking at unSCruz on the horizon.

It’ll be here before I know it.

AND I’m volunteering.

I’m also helping to organize a theme camp which offers spankings and fresh baked cookies to consenting adult participants.

unSCruz is bigger than PBB, by about 4 fold.

My guess is there will be between 1,200 and 1,500 people there.

It’s so much fun.

But I’m getting a crash course in camp layouts.

Rule #1: There will NEVER be enough space to accommodate all your campers.

Rule #2: Even after you’ve squeezed and pushed tents into a layout and FINALLY gotten something workable, someone else will join the group and you will have to start ALL OVER AGAIN.

Rule #3: Despite all your best efforts, you have a SNEAKING suspicion that no one is going to follow the camp layout and it will be TOTAL CHAOS on site.

The magic is that somehow, despite things breaking down, not having enough room for everyone, and having to buy a walled canopy from Amazon at the last minute (and to the tune of nearly $300), things tend to work out and everyone is happy.

Me personally, I don’t plan to stake my tent down until the last camper arrives and sets up.

That’s a whole 56 square feet of wiggle room, baby!

In the end, camping is about the company you keep and the memories you make.

We’re a close camp.

And you know me – the cozier I can get with my friends, the better!

Burning Man Tickets

Burning Man Main Sale tickets went on sale yesterday.

At $425 plus taxes and fees, they’re no small potatoes.

They sold out in THIRTY MINUTES.

Most of my friends trying to buy tickets in the Main Sale did not get a ticket.

I’m lucky.

I got a DGS ticket (Directed Group Sale).

I am a part of a camp that is provides essential interactivity at Burning Man therefore I get access to buy two of 70,000 or so tickets set aside for the purpose of bringing people to Burning Man who work and provide the incredible interactivity it’s known for.

Can you imagine if the tickets were sold to a majority of people who just want to show up and party?

There’d be no infrastructure or interactivity to make Burning Man what it is – a community experiment in art, music, and interactivity in the Nevada desert for one week out of the year.

I bought two DGS tickets in the sale.

My extra ticket is reserved for The Swede, who might be coming to Burning Man this year.

What a lucky guy, eh?

To have someone grandfather you in with a DGS ticket on your first burn?

Sweet!

I got my first Burning Man ticket by SHEER LUCK in 2015.

I managed to snag one in the Main Sale during the 45 minutes or so that they were on sale.

I sat in my tiny basement office on campus and watched the clock countdown to noon and the SECOND it hit noon, I clicked the “Buy” link.

Voila!

The rest is history.

Of course, DGS tickets come with strings attached.

Because they’re associated with a theme camp, there is a requirement that you provide a certain number of hours to setting up and tearing down the theme camp as well as providing manpower for interactivity where it is required.

So The Swede and I will have to do more than just show up and have a good time.

We’ll have to work.

But is it really work when you’re in the world’s best playground, with a community of creative people, creating memories to last a lifetime?

I think not!