Steve

Today I found out via a text message that a former boyfriend died suddenly Thursday night from an as yet unknown cause.

He was in his 50s.

Far too young to die.

Long ago, when we first met I was madly in love with him and imagined that we had a future together.

But it was a long distance relationship and he seemed more happy being single than being with me for the long haul so we parted ways.

I’ll never forget when (nearly a decade later) he added me as a friend on Facebook.

Bold, I thought.

But Steve was always bold and daring.

And smart as a whip!

We managed to meet up a few times and catch up on the latest and greatest in our lives.

He took me on a sailboat ride around the bay and we ran out of gas.

Literally.

Ironically, neither one of us knew how to sail properly at the time.

Despite that, I had a lovely day on the water with him.

I took pictures and blogged my trip, for which he suggested the title “Fucking Steve!”

I will remember him as the strong, invincible, highly intelligent man I knew him to be.

If I know Steve, he’s in Valhalla celebrating his eternal soul with a beer and pretty ladies while telling stories of his amazing life.

Selling Malevolence

I started watching a show called “Selling Sunset” on Netflix.

It’s about a group of real estate agents working in LA who sell multi-million dollar mansions in very expensive and prestigious neighborhoods.

Naturally, everyone on the show looks like a supermodel and has a wardrobe to make Posh Spice jealous.

I’m not sure why I watched the show, other than to see the outrageous behavior that seems to be allowed in the workplace here. Behavior, which in my workplace would get me fired for being unprofessional and difficult to work with.

For as much as they profess to love each other, they also fight like cats and dogs, saying mean things behind each other’s backs.

Of course the gossipee hears about things that were said and confronts the gossiper.

Generally, there’s some level of bullying and abuse that takes place.

I’ve decided that there’s one person who I love.

Romain Bonnet.

He’s the model husband married to Mary Fitzgerald, who is actually fairly likeable herself.

Romain decided that one of the other agents was a “snake in the grass” and that every time there’s drama, she’s always involved in it.

Of course, it didn’t help that she made fun of his engagement ring to Mary.

So.

Romain decided that he wouldn’t allow a snake to attend his wedding and by golly, he stuck with his decision.

Good for him.

A voice of reason amidst a sea of lunacy.

Tell me I’m not right.

 

Note:  If you haven’t seen Romain Bonnet, he’s worth googling.  Talk about scrum-dilly-icious!

Heart sing

My see-through red dress FINALLY arrived in the mail.

It’s the right size this time, thank goodness.

And wasn’t I surprised to discover that it comes with BUILT IN PANTIES?!

You know you’ve got a dress of questionable style when it comes with knickers sewn into it.

This means that I won’t need to wear the bottoms of my red bikini when I wear the dress, although I suppose for hygiene reasons I really should.

I’m not kidding myself.

I know this dress can only be worn to Burner parties and get togethers.

Out in the Default World, it would be too revealing.

See-through dresses are relegated to the realm of the supermodel and actress.

See Gigi and Bella Hadid or Miley Cyrus and Rose McGowan.

Definitely not destined to be worn by a 46 year old, thick thighed administrator living out her fantasies by playing with costuming and dress up.

But no matter.

You only live once and this dress makes my heart sing.

micro burn

This past weekend I had a socially distant burn at a nudist resort in the Santa Cruz Mountains and I had a blast!

The better part of the weekend was spent laying out by the pool in the sun watching naked people frolic in the water.

Of particular interest to me was a beautiful African American woman who brought her pet snakes with her and was often seen with a large albino boa wrapped around her body.

Things you just don’t see in the default world.

That’s why I love Burning Man.

Mentally, I’m always having to check myself and see if I’m in reality or a dream.

The wildlife was out and about during my stay and I saw (among other things) wild turkeys, deer, raptors, jay birds, finches and raccoons.

Of course, at the real burn there would be no wildlife, other than the burners who attend.

Burning Man is held on a dry, flat, alkaline lake bed and as such is really incompatible with life.

No, it wasn’t the same as the 80,000 person burn in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada, but it still held the mysticism of the Burn for me.

Because Burning Man is more than just an event in the desert.

It’s more than the Ten Principles used to guide it.

Burning Man lives in the hearts of the people it has touched and whenever two or more burners get together, there’s magic that happens.

Hugs are abundant as is authenticity and connection.

And I’d say my Micro Burn had that in spades.

Help me get my groove on

Every now and then, I stumble across something on the internet that thrills me.

Thunder Thighs by Miss Eaves is just that.

Speaking from the perspective of a thick girl who believes that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, I was tickled pink that someone wrote a song about something I like a lot.

A little jiggle.

Thus began the following playlist.

Tempo, by Lizzo:

MIKA’s Big Girl (worth it just to hear him sing, “Get yourself down to the Butterfly Lounge. Find yourself a big lady. . .”):

Just A Lil Thick by Trinidad James:

Strip, by Little Mix:

And Belly Bounce by Miss Eaves:

Got a song for thick girls?

I’ll include it in an updated post if you message me at michelle@unblunder.com.

Help me get my groove on.

Happy Burn, y’all

So how was the Micro Burn?

Pics aren’t allowed, so I’ll just have to tell you that it was amazing!

It was hotter than you can possibly imagine, like being inches from the sun on Sunday.

We all hung out in the shade at the pool, and everyone enjoyed the cooling water.

Except for me with my newly pierced ears.

I took a couple of cold outdoor showers then laid out to relax.

I passed out bubbly on Saturday night.

I managed to partake a little too much myself and had to excuse myself for a few minutes to attend to matters.

There was music, and lights, and dancing, and VR goggles and snakes and a trained falcon and a televised burn.

So much to do.

Even a melting man statue to be unveiled as the ice it was encased in SLOWLY melted.

Well, maybe not so slow due to the excessive heat wave we experienced.

All in all, I think everyone had a blast.

Of course we all miss the playa and I was lucky enough to have a friend who drove out to the Black Rock Desert and sent me back pictures of what was going on out there.

I can’t tell you how nostalgic it made me to see their smiling, dusty faces.

The nice thing is that we won’t have to wait in line during Exodus for hours just to make it to Gerlach, ten miles away.

The bad news is the Burn is over, however you decided to celebrate.

Happy Burn, y’all.

Missing Burning Man

This week and in the weeks leading up to it, I’m especially missing Burning Man.

We should all be out on the playa, sweaty and dusty and happy.

Instead we’re at home, sheltering in place, missing our community.

Camping is rapidly approaching and I am frantically packing for my trip.

I’m driving less than 10 miles away to partake in my Burning Man activities, which suits me just fine.

The good news is that the place I’m going to has a restaurant with pretty good food which caters to people with food allergies and sensitivities.

So all I need to bring is booze, snacks and my tent set up.

I’ve decided that I’m going to share champagne with the group so I’ve bought a few bottles of champagne.

Nothing like cold bubbly on a hot day to refresh oneself?

There is a pool available but the only pool activity I’ll be doing is lying next to the pool, sunning myself on account of my new piercings.

Who goes to a camping resort and doesn’t use the facilities?

I do, that’s who.

Through with this shit

I’m pleased to report that I’ve actually made plans for the holiday weekend.

This would be Burn Week at Burning Man in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada and so I’m celebrating by being as authentic as possible.

Yesterday, I wore a tutu for most of the day.

For Tutu Tuesday, of course.

Tomorrow, I’m wearing a halo for no other reason than I have a halo and I sort of want to look angelic.

This weekend I will be camping at a campground with some burner friends.

I expect it’s going to be a ton of fun as we try to cram all our joy and enthusiasm for Burning Man into a long weekend.

I am bringing four outfits – my witchy woman, smokeshow, white witch and angel costumes.

Two outfits are black, two outfits are white.

In CLASSIC fuck-your-burn fashion my period has decided to rear its ugly head just in time for my micro burn.

I can’t tell you how irritated I am to be heading out to a weekend’s worth of camping with Aunt Flo in tow.

But in TRUE radical-self-reliance fashion, I’m taking a note from a swinger friend’s handbook and fast-forwarding the shit out of my period.

I’m through with this.

Winner winner chicken dinner!

I’m sure it’s going to come as a GIANT SHOCK to everyone that my red dress arrived and was WAY TOO SMALL to even be considered as a fashion option.

Honestly, it looked like nylons, when I took it out of the box.

I laughed out loud.

LOL.

Unwilling to admit defeat, I decided to EXCHANGE this dress for one that is bigger.

The good news is that I showed the dress anyway to a good friend of mine.

Like any red-blooded hetero male, he acknowledged that it was an INCREDIBLE dress.

He also admitted that I will look AMAZING in it, regardless if I buy one that is less clingy.

Cling or no cling, it’s a winner in his book.

And it’s a winner in my book too.

Seeing Red

I’m currently looking for items that go with a few outfits I’m working on.

First, the red mesh dress:

I’ve narrowed down my necklace choices to a few select items on Etsy:

Then I found these red razor blade sunglasses on Shein and my mind started spinning a whole new way:

Why not get one of those bloody chokers I’ve seen people wearing:

I haven’t made any decision yet.

I’m still scoping out possibilities.

But this red mesh dress has already got me hot and bothered and I can’t wait to finalize the outfit.

I’m going to be seeing red for days and days and days.