Beer me!

All I wanted to do was fetch my son a beer.

It is after all, his 21st birthday and that’s one of the milestones I was looking forward to.

Buying him a beer.

And since he was in training for two weeks when he celebrated his actual 21st, I had to wait an extra week to celebrate with him.

Mind you in the middle of a pandemic, “buying” your son a beer means remembering at the last minute that we’re celebrating his birthday the next day and Instacarting beer especially for the occasion.

IPA – which make me want to puke they’re so bitter!

But that’s what he wanted and damn, if I’m not getting my baby EXACTLY what he wants for his 21st birthday.

He fetched his first beer.

So I waited patiently for him to need a beer.

Lo and behold a while later, he and I BOTH needed beers.

So I, in true “my kid is finally 21 fashion” went to get us beers.

But first I asked him, “Do you want a beer?”

My mom, who was behind me and completely out of the conversation butted in, “Why do you offer to get him a beer?  Stop pushing alcohol on him!”

No one, and I mean NO ONE wasn’t privy to her outburst.


And that dear friends is how you spoil a 21st birthday party like my mom.


I wish I’d gotten through September 22nd in my usual fashion – by celebrating life with the ones I love and having no regrets.

I did get to celebrate my nephew’s 6th birthday, but I had regrets.

It was the first time a birthday party landed on the same day as Douglas’ birthday and I found myself longing for a birthday celebration to celebrate his 21st birthday – what we would be doing had he lived.

It turns out I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was.

I cried.

It’s a milestone birthday and I found myself wondering who my son would be, had he lived.

Would he be rushing through family dinner so he could go out and celebrate with his friends?

Would we have thrown a big 21st birthday party for him?

As a parent, losing a child is the worst experience you can have and one that we all fear.

To make matters worse, I was the only one who remembered.

No one else seemed clued in to my distress and sadness.

I told my sister-in-law and she gave me a huge hug and got teary eyed.

But then, as life tends to be, we moved on from it.

I am reminded that life is for the living and you either get on with your life or you wallow in sadness, holding on to regrets.

In the end, I choose life.