The first thing you must know about the SuperBowl is that most of my family are dedicated Forty Niners fans.

Especially my cousin Jennifer.

She has supported them and cheered for them for as long as I’ve known her.

I affectionately refer to them as “Jennifer’s boys.”

So you can imagine when they were in the SuperBowl, there was only one place I was going to be for the game.

Next to Jennifer.

Of course, as we all know, the Niners didn’t win.

I woke up in the middle of the night so sad that they lost.

But cheers to the Chiefs, they played a good game, even if there were a few sketchy calls.

Here we all are, ready for the SuperBowl:

I am a unique sports fan.

I usually get up and go to the bathroom at key moments in the game because I’m so nervous.

The more tension, the more likely it is you will find me in the bathroom.

Baseball KILLS me.

But for the SuperBowl?

I never left my seat.

Not even when the tides turned and the Niners started to lose.

Why, you ask?

Because I kept hoping for a win.

I really wanted to see a 49er SuperBowl win.

Maybe next year.


My sister-cousin Jennifer is a HUGE 49er fan.

Their biggest fan, I think.

A true 49er faithful.

This past weekend she took me to their open practice at Levi’s Stadium.

And that’s when IT happened.

I wore a pair of jeans that had a TINY hole in the inner thigh.

Can you see where this is going?

Well, in the course of walking half a mile from the parking lot to our seats in the stadium, I managed to rip that hole WIDE OPEN.

It wasn’t visible to the general public, so at first I wasn’t worried about it at all.

But that changed.

You see the jeans material from my other leg RUBBED on the bare inner thigh of my exposed leg, giving me a friction burn.

Oh the pain of having no inner thigh gap.

But I digress.

So, we walked to and from the stadium and all around the stadium and I literally ripped skin off my inner thigh with EVERY STEP.

I was in a great deal of pain.

When I got home I RIPPED my jeans off of me and threw them on a ball on the floor.

Ever since then I’ve been coating my thigh burn with gun oil lube (to minimize friction) and Desitin (yes, butt paste for babies).

It still fucking hurts!

The worst part is that I had a flirtation that night and I was off my game on account of ALL THE LIQUID WEEPING OUT OF MY FRICTION BURN.

Yeah, it was pretty gross.

I did not feel sexy AT ALL.

On the bright side, I got to see our 49er boys practice football, AND I got to hang out with Jennifer, who I hadn’t seen in MONTHS!

Barbara + The 49ers = a great day!

Barbara took me to the 49ers-Bengals football game a few weeks ago for her birthday.  We had AWESOME seats!

IMG_8558I love Barbara for many reasons but the biggest one is that she was gracious enough to not laugh too hard at me when I admitted to her halfway through the game that up until that point I thought all the people wearing orange and black were supporting the Giants baseball team, not the Bengals.


My favorite part of the whole game (which the Niners lost), was when Joe Montana took to the field at halftime with his 1981 teammates carrying the trophy and marched to the endzone, symbolizing his remarkable 92 yard drive in the 1981 NFC Championship game.

It just gave me shivers to see him in person.  I remember watching him as a child on my parents’ bedroom floor.  No one could win a game in the last 30 seconds like he could!

IMG_8561In the end, even though it was a cold day (the rain held off thankfully), and my attempts to get Barbara-the-birthday-girl drunk didn’t pan out the way I wanted them to (she paced herself), AND the Niners lost, it was a great day all in all.

Nothing quite like hanging with my girl at Levi’s stadium, in the cold, watching our team fight on the field.

Go Niners!