Living like a nun

Since my return from Sweden, I’ve been living like a nun.

Even though my vow of celibacy is no longer in place, I’m still not getting any.

Reason #1: I like The Swede and he’s not here.

Reason #2: I sort of consider myself in a transition state right now on my diet.

And I consider “transition phases” inappropriate for dating.

Plus, the last thing I want is to be sipping my low-cal tomato soup while out on a date.

So here I am.

Single yet happy.

To tell the truth I’ve got a lot going on BESIDES my diet that is keeping me occupied.

UnSCruz planning – I’m helping to organize volunteers.

South Bay Burners Regional Precompression aka SoulFire – I’m trying to resurrect this event with guidance from some friends.

Burning Man 2018 – can’t miss That Thing In The Desert.

Pagan Bunny Burn – my very first! Can’t wait!

I mean, I’m not going to turn down any dates that pop up, but I’m also not actively cultivating anything.

Which, remarkably, doesn’t bother me.

All of which is to say that despite my fuller than full physique, I’m pretty damn happy.

So I can’t complain!


I’ve been looking for new adventures to participate in.

Short of learning to surf (scared of sharks) and rock climb (scared of heights), there’s very little for me to do to that’s listed on Groupon and LivingSocial.

I’ve done so much already:

  • Ran with the bulls
  • Joined in a tomato throwing festival
  • Raced cars at Stockton 99
  • Taken two glass blowing classes
  • Learned to make beer in Beermaking 101 and 102
  • Kayaked with whales
  • Went whale watching
  • Kayaked the Elkhorn Slough
  • Went skydiving
  • Took a pottery class
  • Took a blowjob class
  • Learned how to give a lap dance
  • Learned Orgasmic Meditation
  • Took two chocolate making classes
  • Went to Burning Man three times
  • Got scrubbed at the Korean Spa
  • Learned to pole dance
  • Went to a strip club
  • Attended a puja
  • Flown an airplane
  • Attended HAI retreats

And so on and so forth. . .

So I asked myself today, “What’s left?”

And the answer?


That’s right, I want to try tantra.

Of course, how do you learn tantra when you’re single?

Why you attend an Intro to Tantra class that’s open to singles and couples.

Naturally, the teacher I want to take a class from has no open classes for the rest of the year, but I’m going to be on the lookout.

Why do I want to learn tantra?

Well, I’m kind of curious about what I could learn about sex and connection from the practice.

Also, the thought of learning tantra makes me feel slightly uncomfortable but I believe that exploring those edges is where I experience the most growth.

I may have to wait until I’m part of a couple to attend a weekend retreat, but I can always take the intro class to see what it’s about.

Burning Man 2017: Burning Man Expectations

It’s IMPOSSIBLE for me to contemplate Burning Man expectations without thinking of the prophetic words of my Fearless Leader Twisty.

He told me it’s best to just let things evolve on the playa and not try to plan too much.

Did I listen to him?

Not the first year, I didn’t.

I had a WHOLE SCHEDULE filled with plans and activities I wanted to participate in.

Very few actually materialized.

I got to go to the temple and write my messages on the walls.

I went to Scotchfest solo.

And I got washed at the Human Carasss Wash.

That’s about it.

Most of the time I was lonely looking for friends to do stuff with.

My second year was better. I was scheduled to bake cookies for playa interactivity.

Everything else was UP IN THE AIR.

And I had a great time although I do feel like I should’ve done more exploring, less staying at home relaxing in the Motorbeast.

This year, I have a few things on my short list of THINGS TO DO:

Go to Transfoamation and dance in the foam.

Attend Scotchfest. With friends.

Watch the Rite of Spring.

Go to the wedding of my Fearless Leaders.

Short list, eh?

Should be something I can accomplish.

Watch and see

michelle1I am a Scorpio.

No surprise there.

The only reason this has any bearing at all to what I’m about to say is that Scorpios are known to be focused, and determined.

It has been over three months since I gave up internet dating and I have literally not lifted a finger to download any dating apps, click on any email links that appear in my inbox, or swipe right or left.

I’ve left those things behind me, perhaps intuitively sensing that I’m not going to meet anyone through the online dating venue.

Believe it or not, people who use online dating sites may be single but they’re also serial daters – THEY DON’T WANT TO MEET A PARTNER.

They’re happy playing the field.

The last guy I took a chance on left me with a face full of cum.

Therefore, I am still driven to resolve my single status.

I basically HATE not knowing who to take to a wedding, party, etc.

All you coupled up people might bitch about your spouses but at least you know who you’re doing stuff with on a Saturday night.

Maybe you’re stuck having sex with the same person day in and day out, but at least you HAVE someone to get intimate with.

I have no one.

I’ve decided to take a more focused approach to dating.

Here are my goals:

  1. Take the dog to the dog park twice a week.
  2. Have at least one weekly activity with Barbara to keep me sane – even if it’s just brunch.
  3. Reach out to two friends a week to reconnect.
  4. More South Bay Beer Hound activities. I heart beer!
  5. Get out and VOLUNTEER! This is always an EXCELLENT way to look past your own problems to help others.
  6. Take up a hobby – like golf or fishing. I like both activities.
  7. Get out of the house a little more than I usually get out. I tend to be lazy after work and just go home to relax.
  8. Keep going to Burning Man regional events – great places to meet cool, fun, creative people.
  9. Say “yes” more. Be open to new possibilities and stretching myself outside my comfort zone.
  10. Join a writers group to improve my writing and this blog, which I enjoy so much.

Basically, there’s so much I can do to keep busy while still making headway into meeting single men.

Watch and see.

Adventure Classes

michelleSo I stumbled across Verlocal as I was browsing Facebook.

It’s like the smaller, younger, more indie sibling of Groupon and Living Social.

It lists lots of stuff to do in the SF Bay Area – such as arts & crafts, food & drink, outdoor activities, sports & fitness, play, and music.

So far, I’ve identified 10 classes I want to take:

  1. Military Design Class – $27 – Create combat paper out of old military uniforms plus learn the wet process of pulp printing.
  2. Beeswax Candle Making Class – $40 – Make custom candles out of all-natural beeswax.
  3. Sacred Hearts & Skulls in the Mexican Paper Mache Tradition Class – $30 – Create and hand paint a Sacred Heart or Mask in the rich cultural tradition of Mexico.
  4. Book Binding – $45 – Learn how to make a sturdy one-of-a-kind book.
  5. Jam & Jelly Making Class – $65 – Learn to make delicious jams and jellies from scratch.
  6. Beginner Beekeeping Class – $55 – Learn all about bees, beekeeping, and honey. Yum!
  7. All Natural Beauty Class – $45 – Learn to make bath bombs, foot scrub, foot salve, and face mask from all natural ingredients.
  8. Forge Welded Hammers of the Viking Age Class – $375 – Forge-weld hammers from high-carbon steel and mild steel in the traditional technique that was used from before the Viking Era.
  9. Become a Japanese Chef – $80 – Make delicious sushi just like a Japanese chef!
  10. Basic Air Combat Maneuvers Phase 1 – $1395 – Experience the thrill and excitement of flying a light attack fighter in air combat. Woot!

There’s sure a lot of stuff for me to do.

If 2014 was the year of the Boudoir Photos and 2015 was the year of Burning Man, then perhaps 2016 will be the year of the Adventure Classes.

We shall see.

We shall see.

Getting to know you

michelleTo begin with, The Israeli is from Israel so he’s a foreign import with a lovely accent.

He says funny things – like mixing up the words “fluid” and “liquid” – and doesn’t understand some of the colloquialisms that I use – like “you don’t have to tell me that twice.”

I get a kick out of listening to him tell me all his stories.

  • Skiing in the Alps.
  • Diving with sharks in the Red Sea.
  • Camping while in the Israeli Army.

Funny enough, he gets a kick out of all the things I do.

  • Running with the bulls.
  • Learning to make beer.
  • Racing stock cars.

On the surface, we don’t have a lot in common except for our mutual love of rock music.

He would never skydive. I’ve already done it.

He dislikes camping. I adore camping.

He doesn’t go on roller coaster rides. I can’t get through the lines fast enough.

No one ever said you have to date a carbon copy of yourself to find your soulmate.

There are enough qualities to him that fit my criteria to make him an ideal suitor.

Including… ahem… desire #22.

And #1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15, 17, 18, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 30, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, and 41.

And, of course, he meets the basic criteria – available (divorced), faithful (monogamous), and educated (hello DDS and PhD) which will please my life coach.

Progress, folks.

This is what it’s all about.

What’s on tap?

So I’m trying to plan out my next adventures and I have to say, this would be much easier if I was a couple. Then the “Chocolate Making Class for Two” would be appropriate. Or the “Love Lab” class that teaches couples massage would be ideal for an afternoon’s activities.

But no, I am yet single so I must plan my solo activities accordingly.

Right now, I have tickets to see U2 and I’m planning on going to the 4th of Juplaya with Tejas and friends. Juplaya is celebration of the 4th of July on the Playa, enjoying the surrounding hot springs and fireworks. It should be fun.

But that’s all I’ve got going on and I need to schedule some more activities. To begin with, I’d like to go back to BAGI and make more glass bowls. That was wicked hot, but wicked fun. And I loved the final product which is sitting in the entryway in my home.

As far as activities go, I could:

  • Take horseback riding lessons
  • Learn to golf
  • Go to the batting cages
  • Try my hand at fencing
  • Attempt to learn archery without lacerating my hand, like last time
  • More pilates
  • Study ballroom dance
  • Rock climb at Planet Granite
  • Fly a small plane, again
  • Take an improve comedy class
  • Paintball!
  • Learn to surf
  • Table tennis lessons, so I can beat my cousin Nick
  • More kayaking
  • Learn how to make bread
  • Take a dance class
  • Take that Bollywood dance class I’ve had my eye on for months now
  • Barre3 class, which my friend Christina swears by
  • Bootcamp, ugh
  • Billiards class
  • Introduction to firearms class
  • Piano lessons, refresh my skills on the piano
  • Shoot clays
  • Go river rafting, always fun on a Class 3+
  • Summer festivals!

Who knew?

The lady who started Petroglyph, the in studio pottery painting experience, has started a new crafty business called Glow Candle Lounge.

I stumbled across it whole walking the streets of Willow Glen with my friend Michelle.

Yes, we have the same name.  LOL

So apparently, for a small studio fee ($9.75 for adults) you can make as many candles as you want.  Each candle has a fee as well (ranging from $7 – $44).

I’m dying to try this place out.  I want to make the $44 candle and see what’s so special about it.

Maybe it’s the size of a Buick.

Maybe it’s shaped like the leaning Tower of Pisa.

But whatever its shape or its size, I’m simply intrigued at the idea of making my own candle… picking a shape, filling the mould, selecting a fragrance, hiding treasures inside…

I’ll wager it’s possible to make a candle so beautiful you don’t want to melt it.

So… the question is who wants to make candles with me?

This is a date night activity.

I just may have to go out and find myself a date.

What’s on tap…

I’ve been thinking about my next set of activities to take on.

Besides needing to scour Groupon for specials, I’ve come up with the following list:

  • Eat at Manresa
  • See Niagara Falls and get wet
  • See Bruce Springsteen
  • Go to a U2 concert
  • Take a tour of Alcatraz
  • Take a tour of the Winchester Mystery House (I’ve never been)
  • Fly a single engine Cessna again
  • Go to the Korean Spa, again
  • Great White Shark dive
  • Eat at a Burmese restaurant
  • Go to Supper Club in SF
  • See a transvestite show
  • Go to  strip club
  • Drive down Highway 1
  • Drive up Highway 1
  • Go to a book reading
  • Go to an art museum
  • Learn to surf
  • Fly in an acrobatic plane doing stunts
  • Camp in Yosemite
  • Go wine tasting in Napa/Paso Robles
  • Go to the Mystery Spot in Santa Cruz
  • Enjoy an Irish Coffee at the Buena Vista
  • Take sailing lessons
  • Learn to brew beer at Workshop SF
  • Get a new tattoo

And that’s a pretty good start for me.  I think I’ll start with driving up and down Highway 1.  I love to stop along the way at any place that suits my fancy – like the Olema Farm House in Olema or the Hog Island Oyster Company in Marshall, or Nepenthe in Big Sur.  So much to see and experience.  Time to get cracking!


Happy Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day weekend everyone!

I’ve decided to take a little trip with my boys to visit my sister Lisa in Reno.

Now if you need to know anything about Lisa’s place, it’s this – the cats rule the house, the food is always superb, the drinks are plentiful, and… she has a hot tub.


Only since my boys will be there I’ll be wearing my new bathing suit.

Nice monokini, eh? I love the little fringe. It’s brand new and I’m excited to wear it for the first time. Even though there’s really not much better than soaking in Lisa’s hot tub with an ice cold beverage and no bathing suit on, I think I can live with wearing this suite. I will have to take pictures.

Lisa and I are planning to have a lot of fun with the boys. Some of the activities on tap are horseback tours of the Nevada desert, outdoor rock wall climbing, go karting, a sailing tour of Emerald Bay, rafting the Truckee River, and ziplining.

We will also have to hit the Grand Sierra’s seafood buffet. Nothing like all-you-can-eat snow crab legs.

And… we get to celebrate my sister’s birthday on May 25th! She’ll be 39… again! Just to give my big sis a shout out on my blog (which she doesn’t read because she thinks it’s trashy)

I love you sissie!