Me at 18

I’ve been thinking about age a lot.

Especially since I had my birthday last week and turned 45.

I’m not going to lie.

I feel like I’m getting better the older I get.

I spend less time making EVERYTHING about myself and more time enjoying my family and friends.

I’ve learned to mellow out and relax instead of getting uptight about everything.

For the most part I don’t pretend to be something I’m not.

Although I will, on occasion, emphasize all my stellar qualities and attributes.

Like when I’m trying to impress a guy.

I’m glad I’m no longer 18 years old.

But damn, 18 was a GOOD YEAR!

Here I am at 18, graduating high school with my sister.

And all dressed up going out with friends (probably 19 years old in this picture).

At 17 years old, posing for my Junior Prom with my date.

And here I am with friends at the top of Half Dome.

It’s crazy to think of how the years have passed by in the blink of an eye.

But there you have it.

Me at 18.

 

Perfect 10

fisherI had a little too much to drink and “accidentally” signed up for a 3-month Zoosk membership.

I couldn’t help myself.

The men online looked SO DELICIOUS.

Needless to say, my foray into Zoosk has not turned out that great.

First, they double charged me.

Then the app wouldn’t work.

And when I finally managed to get everything working, I got pinged by two guys asking for MORE PHOTOS.

Sigh.

I bet men would ask for a bikini photo if they thought they could get away with it.

It’s so disheartening to be reduced to your appearance.

I say this because lately, I feel like my 43 year old appearance is sliding from slightly seasoned to old.

And so much of who I am is wrapped up in what I look like.

It’s hard to age as a woman.

I feel like I have to develop a new identity – one that isn’t focused on what I look like.

That also means that my self-esteem has got to find a new anchor – my intelligence, my humor, my kindness, my adventurousness?

The irony is, everyone’s beauty fades – except for George Clooney and Michelle Pfeiffer.

So these guys who are out hunting for the Perfect 10 will one day be disappointed in their choice.

To quote the late, great Carrie Fisher (may she rest in peace):

“Youth and beauty are not accomplishments. They are the temporary, happy byproducts of time and/or DNA. Don’t hold your breath for either.”

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