unSCruz 2018: Playground for adults

The thing about unSCruz is that it’s EXACTLY LIKE A PLAYGROUND FOR ADULTS.

All the things you wish existed out there in the world for you to enjoy exist within unSCruz.



Would you like to join in a cuddle puddle on a flying ship?


Take nude photos with a professional photographer?

You can have it.

Learn about kinks you never knew you had?

Wish granted!

Something that TOTALLY BLEW ME AWAY this year was the Rainbow Trike Track.

Basically someone built a mini tricycle track inside one of the warehouses at unSCruz and you could hop on one of the rainbow trikes (think Big Wheels for adults) and get squirrely on the track!

I know!

So much fun!

Open bars?

Yes please (though no outside alcohol is allowed in unSCruz)!

In my heart of hearts, my home away from home will always be Ali Bar Bar.

And they had a magnificent new marquee!

And of course, the best and sexiest bartenders!

unSCruz even had a BURN!

And it was a great burn because the man lit up beautifully but didn’t fall down for quite some time.

More blaze for everyone to enjoy!

All in all, quite the magnificent trip and so worth all the effort that went into planning and executing.

Shameful Admission

I have something to admit about Burning Man that makes me feel ashamed.

I was so busy having fun with friends, new and old, and taking care of myself in the elements, that I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO CHECK OUT THE ART!


I went to Burning Man and saw hardly any art.

Oh sure, I biked the playa and saw the Temple and the Man.

But everything else?

It’s a big blank.

I watched a few burns and navigated my way home via the big enormous JELLYFISH art piece, but I skipped the deep playa art tour that would’ve taken me to the far reaches of the playa to the trash fence to see the INCREDIBLE art out there.

And now, seeing all the AMAZING pictures coming out of Burning Man in my Facebook stream, I have REGRETS.


I should have flirted less and explored more.

I should have gotten on my bike and checked out some of the art near and far.

I should have spent less time in camp and more time around Center Camp.


These are the regrets I have.

Of course, they say that you get the burn you need, not the burn you want so if that’s the case then I got exactly what I needed. . .

. . .in which case, a whole lot of self-care, day napping, and evening adventures were EXACTLY what I needed.

Not sure why I’m complaining?

Me and the Swede


I talked to the Swede again.

And by talk, I mean text.

And by Swede, I mean genuinely, authentically from Sweden.

He’s tall and handsome and kisses like his life depends on it.

It’s sooooooo good.

We went on a first date a few months ago when he was visiting the Bay Area for work.

We said goodnight without kissing goodbye.

We went on a second date a little later and again said goodbye without kissing goodnight.

Then something came over us on the third date.

Perhaps he figured “why not at least TRY kissing her?”

I know I thought I’d been friend zoned.

Then he kissed me and WOW!


So he’s coming back to the Bay Area in May.

And if he can swing it, he might be here for UnSCruz which I’ve described as a moveable party with fire spinning, music, dance, art, performance, and community.

There’s even a wedding this time around!

I think he was intrigued.

So cross your fingers that he can arrange his travel and make it to UnSCruz.

It’ll be a hell of a time, I’ll tell you that!


Do beards make men sexier?

Do beards make men sexier?

I’ll cut to the chase and just say HELL YES!

Don’t get me wrong. I like a clean shaven face as much as the next person.

They’re soft and nice to rub up against.

But there’s something about a bearded man that I just find wildly attractive.

My ex husband looked great with a goatee. I can attribute several years of my marriage to my attraction for him with a goatee.

He still looks great with one to this day – even with a dash of salt thrown in (he is approaching 50).

My dad was notorious for growing a 5 o’clock shadow. He is Middle Eastern, after all.

I remember hugging him as a child and having all those prickly hairs poke my cheeks.

How I screamed and giggled!

He’d rub his cheeks on mine until my cheeks were pink from the light abrasion.

My love of facial hair, I am sure, has everything to do with my father’s 5 o’clock shadow.

Check out the 4 men below – Bruce Willis, Jason Statham, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Gerard Butler. All sexy men in their own right.

stubble-no1 stubble-no2

 Now check them out with beards. Even sexier, no?

stubble3 stubble4

 There’s just something so rough and tumble about a man with facial hair. Something so inherently masculine and sexy that I find myself helpless to resist.

Of course, I do have a “Lumberjack Complex” so take what I say with a grain of salt.

Maybe some women like their men clean shaven.

But they would be wrong.

P.S. Incidentally, my baby brother Art takes the cake as far as lumberjack beards go. I’ve just got to post a pic here of me with him so you can see what a phenomenal beard he has grown. OMG!


Truth is Beauty

The City of San Leandro is up in arms. Is it because of water rationing? No. Is it because of cuts to the police force? No.  Is it because of political corruption? No.

It’s because a 55 foot tall statue of a naked dancing woman titled “Truth is Beauty” is being installed in a public venue downtown.


Truth is Beauty graced the Black Rock City desert and the Burning Man community since 2013. It is the 2nd of three similarly sized sculptures known as the Bliss Project.  The most well know of the trilogy is Bliss Dance, currently in view on Treasure Island.bliss dance

R’Evolution, the third statue of the trilogy, is to appear for the first time at Burning Man, Black Rock City, this August.

Just one look at these two statues and I fell in love.

But heaven forbid we put the naked female form on display in a public venue where it can be seen by the masses.

No, we have to control women’s sexuality and shame the naked female body by calling it “tacky” and “pornographic.”

Well I for one would like to do my part to support female nudity in art but also in life.  Since I can’t post a naked picture of me here, I’m posting one of my favorite nude photographs:


And as far as Truth and Beauty goes, did I mention the best part about her?  She will be lit up with 2,500 LED lights.

How’s that for celebrating the female form?

So this happened….

There I was, minding my own business, watching movies (of a questionable nature) at Tejas’ house when I got the bright idea to let him write on me.

The first time I let Tejas draw on me he drew a cat butt with my belly button.

He maintains it was an owl.

But I say it looked a lot like a cat butt (see example below):

Nevertheless, I gave him a new chance to draw some art on me.

And this is what he writes (not draws):

LUBE and


With two little funky dots meant to represent… I don’t know…eyeballs?

In any case, feel free to enjoy this picture.

I know I do.


My Paint Adventure

If you know anything about my family, you know that my birthmother is a PHENOMENAL artist. Truly extraordinary. No matter what the media, she excels in it – be it painting a mural for a church play or sketching an image in pen and pencil.

If you know anything about me, you know that I DID NOT INHERIT MY BIRTHMOM’S SPECIAL TALENT.

Oh, I’m passably good at three dimensional stuff – quilting, sculpture, and makeup. But that’s nothing compared to the true artist that my birthmom is.

I challenged myself to take a paint class with a coworker at one of those wine and paint parties. I wanted to push past my self-imposed limitations and see what I could do.

Here are all our blank canvases. We had a full house of almost 40 people!

Here is my “paint palette” – basically a paper plate with tempera paint on it (basically the same kind they use in preschools all across the country).

I know. Don’t get me started. I was quite disappointed that we weren’t using REAL paint, but in the end the result was still impressive.

Here’s a bit of the progression of my painting.


And here’s the finished product

And finally, a shot of my biggest concern during the whole painting experience… accidentally dropping my paintbrush in my beer.

Now that would be tragic.

Me, nude

So I’m at a Halloween costume party at my aunt and uncle’s when I get approached by a friend of mine.

“My friends and I are taking an art class and we’d like to draw you nude. You have an amazing body which would look great drawn on paper. Would you consider doing it?” she asked.

My first reaction was excitement mixed with a little bit of fear.

You know me, anytime something challenges me, I get a little scared. But I wasn’t about to let that stop me.

If they want to draw my Renoir Bather-type body, who am I to say no?


I agreed to do it.

My friend went off and told her other friends that I’d agreed to do the class.

Then I was approached by another friend, who is the most amazing artist that I know outside of widely recognized artists. She works in paint, pencil, and clay, to say the least. Her art hangs in her home and it TAKES MY BREATH AWAY.

She explained to me that she’d really like to draw me, that I have a classic body for art. The class hires models from a company to do their sittings, so she’d like to arrange for me to sit for her at her house, if I’m still interested. She seemed a little excited and embarrassed at the same time. Excited that I’d said yes, embarrassed that the situation wasn’t fully described properly to me.

And perhaps the location of our exchange, at a costume party with me dressed up like a cop, made it a little awkward.

I didn’t care.

The opportunity to sit for an incredible artist is an opportunity that comes around once in a lifetime. Who am I to say no to that?

And so I said yes.

Artistic Abilities

Groupon is determined to make me take a painting class.

Clearly, they have not received the memo re: my artistic skills.

No matter how hard I try to paint or draw, everything turns out looking like a kindergartner drew it.

I find this ironic, because my beautiful birthmother (below) is an AMAZING artist and can draw and paint absolutely anything to perfection.

I guess it skipped a generation.

What am I good at as far as art goes?

Well…. I can quilt up a storm (samples below) and have probably completed at least 40 quilts for my family and friends.

q1 q2
q3 q4
q5 q6
q7 q8


That’s about it.

Oh yeah, I can sing too.

Does that count as art?

In any case, I’m still looking for activities to do, that don’t involve a paint brush and canvas.

Here’s a list of what I’d like to do:

  • Attend the Elton John concert
  • Go great white shark diving
  • Go camping
  • Go fishing
  • Go boating
  • Go sailing (doing this on 6/14/14)
  • Learn to surf
  • Fly an airplane (again)
  • Learn to make beer
  • Take a go go dance class at Sedusa Studios
  • See Jim Gaffigan perform
  • Go to the theater
  • See an opera live
  • Go rafting with friends, drink beer 🙂
  • Play ball at the batting cages
  • Take a mixology class
  • Take a Barre 3 class (under the high recommendation of my friend Christina)
  • Go to a Giants game
  • See the 49ers play in the new Levi’s Stadium

Any other ideas?  Share them with me at michelle@unblunder.com or comment below.