Instantly Amazing, just add alcohol

Yesterday I wrote a blog post and I titled it “Not Instantly Amazing.”

It was a knee jerk reaction to having yet another first date with a man who I’m sure went right back on Tinder and started swiping left and right as soon as he got home.

I should clarify:

I am an AMAZING person.

I am EXTRAORDINARY, just like everyone else on the planet.

A real one-of-a-kind treasure.

I wish I had the bandwidth to maintain relationships with more people because (as I’m fond of saying about my birthfamily) more people to love and to love you is NEVER a bad thing.

The trick of course, is to manage to put yourself out there.

And in my humble opinion, people are now unwilling to take more time to get to know you because it’s so easy to just get back online and start swiping.

A friend made a comment on my blog post “Not Instantly Amazing”:

You have such presence.  I find this hard to believe.

And it’s true.

I do have presence.

But it’s much easier to be myself in a Burning Man crowd than on a first date when I go into information gathering mode:  what do you do, how many kids do you have, what are your hobbies, etc.?

First dates are hard.

I should know, I go on SO MANY.

So perhaps I should revise my post title from “Not Instantly Amazing” to “Instantly Amazing, just add alcohol.”

Because a little liquid libation goes a long way to socially lube up a conversation.

Not instantly amazing

I have this theory.

Bear with me while I explain myself.

As a society, I think our attention spans are getting shorter.

We like our news in nice bite sized nuggets – 140 characters or less.

We like short posts on Facebook, preferably ones with pictures.

And we like our internet dating “swipe-friendly.”

Show me a picture and let me decide in a split second on whether or not I think I would like to get to know that person.

I think the reason why I am single is not because I haven’t met the right person, but because I’m not instantly amazing.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m special.

I am loved by many people.

But it takes time for me to reveal myself to others and in the time it takes me to achieve trust and vulnerability with my partner, that partner has gotten bored and already swiped right and left on new profiles.

Women who are instantly amazing are Lady Gaga, Kate Upton, Greta Thunberg, and Mother Theresa – all for their own reasons, of course.

I need to figure out how to display all my amazingness as quickly as possible.

What is the attention span of the average American male?

Five seconds?

Ten?

I need to work on my elevator pitch!