Preparing for the zombie apocalypse

The other day, I was chatting with a friend about being attracted to a specific “type” of man.

Seeing as how he was front row center when I flirted with his friend at Burning Man, my friend said that I CLEARLY have a type.

And it’s true.

I am not one to be attracted to men in suits, although I like a man who can get dressed up.

I like a man in jeans and a tight t-shirt who sports a beard.

Yup.

I like them scruffy and down-to-earth.

Think Mike Rowe on Dirty Jobs and you’ve got an idea of what appeals to me.

Now, I’m not saying that I never go against type.

I’ve had two boyfriends who didn’t fit the mold.

I’m just saying they had a uphill battle and I will always, ALWAYS find myself attracted to the biggest, baddest, scruffiest man in the room.

Some women are attracted to fancy cars, wealth and expensive suits.

I’m attracted to trucks, 5 o’clock shadows and callused hands.

I’m not sure where this comes from.

My DNA is still in “caveman mode” and is attracted to men who can handle a gun, park a fifth wheel, and barbecue like they were born in a Weber grill.

Clearly my inner woman is preparing for the zombie apocalypse and wants a big, strong man to look after me.

Because who cares what kind of a car you drive or how much money you have in the bank when there are zombies trying to eat your brain?

Good on paper, bad IRL

I’m constantly torn when I’m internet dating.

If I went out with every guy who showed interest in me, I’d be going out on two dates a night.

Instead, I go out with just the guys I’m attracted to.

That’s a MUCH smaller pool.

I’m just going to go ahead and admit that I almost exclusively use photos to select my dates.

I look for genuine smiles and broad shoulders.

Lately however, I’ve spent more time READING profiles.

And I’m torn.

Is it better to go out with someone you find unattractive whose profile speaks to you? Or is it better to go out with someone you’re simply attracted to, regardless of their profile?

So far, I haven’t had any luck going out with men I’m not attracted to and HOPING that an attraction develops.

Although I can talk myself into kissing just about anyone ONCE, it never pans out for me.

I always wind up caught up in an awkward embrace, trying to keep my lips from being hoovered off while he grabs at my ass like a baboon scratching its butt.

Occasionally I’m pleasantly surprised.

Like with Tony from Sweden who basically kissed me and made my toes curl.

We’re friends on Facebook.

[SMILE]

So I’m just curious, is it worth going out with men who look good on paper but maybe there’s less attraction IRL or should I keep plugging away at the men I find attractive?

Thoughts?

Save

Roar to life

michelleIt’s been 3 months since I gave up internet dating and it’s time for me to admit. . .

I miss it.

A little.

I miss the excitement of those first few texts.

I miss the thrill of going on a first date.

I miss the anticipation of that first kiss.

Yeah sure, a lot about internet dating and first dates absolutely SUCKS.

The stink of rejection.

The boredom of no connection.

The stress of tying to impress.

But it’s not all bad.

I could use a bit of that secret little thrill you get when you meet someone you’re attracted to.

God, could I use some of that.

And, you know, how am I going to meet someone and hit it off with them if I’m not even looking?

Part of me seriously wonders if I’m going to wind up a lesbian.

After all, I meet tons of AWESOME women.

There was the nice, butch 49er fan I was attracted to BIG TIME, so it’s not like there’s no precedent.

But I think my preference is for men.

The other day I was driving my car and I saw a man standing on the side of the road, bending to grab something in a nearby hole. He was wearing jeans and a tight t-shirt. His hair was short and he had a beard.

I immediately felt this RUSH OF HORMONES.

And it made me realize. . .

I’m not dead.

I may feel like that part of my life has shriveled up and died, but it hasn’t.

It’s just waiting to roar to life.

Bad Boys

I love bad boys, just ask my ex Steve.

A wicked smart, leather wearing , motorcycle riding, cocky criminal defense attorney from Modesto, he embodied to me everything that I found exciting:

  • Confidence
  • Adventurous
  • Challenging
  • Mysterious

He made me feel like a powerful woman and he knew how to talk to me.

Plus he was a rock star in the bedroom and looked great in a kilt.

Why is it that the best chemistry seems to exist between myself and a “bad boy”?

Bad boys are challenging. They’re forbidden. We know it’s not going to end well, but we want that ride. The thrill of it all is worth the price we’ll pay.

And perhaps we think we’re woman enough to change him just a little bit. Tame him.

It’s a delusion, of course.

Because what makes a bad boy a bad boy is that they’re untameable. They’re wild. And that’s half the reason why we like them so much.

So why don’t women go for good guys? Why is calling someone a “nice guy” a backhanded insult?

Maybe it has something to do with nice guys not possessing that faux sense of masculinity that women seem to gravitate towards. Perhaps they radiate a doormat mentality that women don’t find sexy. They’re too predictable? They have low self-esteem? All sorts of reasons come into play here. But the real reason may be genetics. Women are designed to procreate with the strongest possible genes. Bad boys send an unconscious message that they have great genes whereas nice guys send a message that they’re not as confident in their genes.

Regardless of the causes, I will say this… though sex with a bad boy was off the chart, the best relationship and sex of my life was with a really nice guy.

Although he was a cage fighter….

Older women… hello or goodbye Mrs. Robinson?

Is the lure simply sex or is there more to it than that?

According to my friend Tony, “35 and 45 is okay but 18 and 40 is not.” Hello Mrs. Hulk Hogan….

hgn-yngr_mn

What could an 18 year old and a 40 year old possibly have in common?

Oh wait…. I just answered my own question.

But is sex the only thing holding the younger man and the older woman together?  Demi Moore, Mariah Carey, and Madonna might all have something to say about that, having been in long-term relationships with younger men.

dm-stn

Sure, older women come with more baggage (ex-husbands, ex-stepchildren, divorce, debt, business pressures, financial obligations, etc.) but they also come with a certain amount of life experience She’s likely to be above the petty nonsense.  Older women are likely to also possess self-confidence that makes them capable of handling whatever life throws their way.

I was in a relationship with a younger man and it was outstanding while it lasted.  But I did have to get over my impression that being younger somehow made them less mature than I. [Ha ha, I know… like I’m mature.]

The age difference between Jason, a handsome, Krav Maga and Muay Thai fighting cocktail mixologist, was about 4 years but I’ll never forget being approached by a woman while out with Jason and my kids and hearing her say, “She’s the mom but there’s no way he’s the dad. He’s too young.”  Yikes!

So even though relationships between younger men and older women are a little taboo, they’re still a popular pasttime.

rbnsnAs my friend Shannon put it, “JT. He’s bringing it back.” And Linda chimed in, “I’ll take two.”

And Andrew suggests that it might be a rite of passage for all men, “As part of the maturing that happens when you’re dating, I think everyone should have at least one Mrs. Robison experience.”

Well, it’s now easier than ever with the National Single Cougars Convention.  My friend Lance was nice enough to forward the link to me years ago as a joke.  I think…

Take it from one Mrs. Robinson, I have certainly initiated my fair share of younger men. But I’ve passed up more.  Thank you and goodnight.

To read an old “Younger men older woman” experience I had, click here.