Separated vs SEPARATED

michelleThere’s been some discussion over me refusing to date men who are merely separated from their wives.

I call it MARRIED (and it is) however there are extenuating circumstances.

Somebody who separated with his wife on December 26th and gets on Match.com December 29th is separated.

Not SEPARATED.

To be SEPARATED requires time and distance. Occasionally a restraining order.

I dated a guy once.

We’ll call him Luke, though we could just as easily call him Asshat or Buttwipe.

Luke separated from his wife after the holidays as well.

6 months later he and I were dating.

Fast forward one year and I’m having a miscarriage all by myself followed swiftly by him leaving me for another woman who he married.

Now you know why I could nickname him Asshat or Buttwipe.

He was NO PRIZE BULL.

But enough of the name calling.

Luke was SEPARATED.

He was capable of being in a relationship with another human being (after 6 months of fucking off – “Fuck” being the operative word).

Luke is the exception to the rule.

But overall, my experience with MARRIED aka separated men has not been good.

Pardon my French, but they’d all take a FLYING FUCK at a rolling donut if it meant they could add another notch in their bedpost.

So yes, barring some extreme explanation on their profile as to why they are separated and not yet divorced, I WILL AVOID ANY AND ALL separated MEN.

My theory is it takes about 2 years for a guy to become emotionally “available” after a separation anyways.

So, take everything with a grain of salt, but it is unlikely you will see the DRAMA of me in a relationship with a married/separated man play out on unblunder.

I’ve got much better options to squander my time with.

Evolution

michelle beachAt first I wrote a big long blog post about using Tinder to hook up with dates.

You see, I told this guy (who happens to be smart, funny, single AND a burner) that he should troll Tinder for dates instead of ARRANGING FOR HIM TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME.

Let me say that again.

Rather than go on a date with an eligible bachelor, I advised him to visit Tinder to find a date.

What?!

I’ll admit, I’m flush with men right now.

But I am looking for a relationship and this guy on the surface seems to represent that possibility.

So why didn’t I arrange a date with him?

The simple answer to this question is I don’t know.

On some level I sensed that although he is quite single, he is not available.

Now I could be wrong.

Maybe he’s the most available man out there.

But sometimes, just sometimes, I think the best approach is to sit back and see how life unfolds when you’re not running at it at full speed with a battering ram.

When you just let it EVOLVE.