Denied!

So there’s this hunky guy I was interested in.

I went to the bar he was at, grabbed a seat, and intended to do my best at flirting, which was awfully brave of me given that only three days earlier someone told me I SUCKED AT FLIRTING.

Per my usual, I fell back on chatting with another man, making casual conversation while I tried to work up the guts to do something flirtatious.

My evil plan was to wait until the end of the night and see if he’d bring me home with him.

Inelegant, overly subtle as it may be, that was my plan.

Not long after I sat down we were joined by another woman.

Pretty soon it dawned on me that she was there for the same reason I was.

To hook up with the hunky guy.

“Well, this is AWKWARD,” I thought to myself.

Just then a friend came up to me at the bar.

“Is he chasing you?” she asked.

“No. . .” I replied.

“Then let’s go. I’ll help you meet someone,” she offered.

I was stubborn, though.

My ever present optimism was shining through.

The evening progressed.

I started to feel crappy, like I was throwing myself after someone who totally lacked all knowledge of my value.

Ad that was when I got up off my bar stool make my goodbyes, and left the bar.

My pride was a little bit in tatters, my optimism was flagging, and my ego was a little bruised.

Nevertheless, I managed to leave.

Michelle – 1, Hunky Guy – 0.

Bad at Flirting

There are lots of things I’m no good at.

Burpees, for one.

Twerking, for another.

Also I can’t dance worth a damn (but I still try).

And my Swedish is atrocious.

Nevertheless, when I need to call on those skills, I do my best to do my best.

What saves me is my great sense of humor and the ability to laugh at myself.

This last burn, I was told by some wise guy that I am “BAD AT FLIRTING.”

Like one of the worst he’d ever seen.

I was a bit surprised but quickly replied that my intention was to seduce him with my AWKWARDNESS.

He remained unimpressed.

It is a little known fact that I am a relatively shy person who PRETENDS to be vivacious and outgoing.

I am not though.

And it shows through whenever I have a crush.

The bigger the crush, the more mute I become.

It’s as if the more invested I am in the outcome, the more subtle I am.

Also?

I seldom come across men I am strongly attracted to so when it happens, I’m a little bit off-balance.

But, I’ve always enjoyed that feeling.

And crushing on the wise guy was no exception.

In the end, I got my man.

But I have to admit, my ego took a little bruising in the process.

I am lovely exactly as I am, awkward flirting skills and all.

It just takes a real wise man to see that.