Safety Third!

Did I forget to mention the spinning teeter totter at unSCruz?!

Surely not!

The Swede and I were walking down the lane when we stumbled across this crazy looking contraption:

Camp Bad Idea, within Silicon Village, is planning to bring this device to the playa this year?

Sounds like a Bad Idea?

You bet! That’s why we do it!

So The Swede and I gave it a spin.

We were unable to determine the difference in our weight so it’s likely that the device wasn’t weighted properly.

Still, we dutifully climbed on. . .

. . . and made about one revolution until we started to fall off.

It was hilarious!

I laughed my foolish head off.

We considered going for another ride on the spinning teeter totter, but then thought better of it.

You know what they say at Burning Man:

SAFETY THIRD!

What the hell?!

You know me, I’m all for advances in sexual technology. Sex toys? Love them. Cannabis lube? Please, may I have some more? But a cock ring called SexFit which monitors a man’s calories burned and thrusts per minute then POSTS THAT INFO TO SOCIAL MEDIA… Nope. Never done it. First of all, can’t we fucking just enjoy this form of physical activity without obsessing over its weight loss potential? If you’re boinking me, the last thing I want you to be thinking about is whether you’ve pounded away the bagel with cream cheese you had for breakfast.

Secondly, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would want to post those stats to Facebook where EVERYONE CAN SEE? “Dave completed 164 thrusts in 22 minutes, burning 168 calories.” Dave’s mother, coworkers, ex-girlfriends and various friends would not be delighted to read that. Also, the SexFit doesn’t note that Dave didn’t make his partner come because he was so busy pounding off that Big Mac to attend to her orgasm. And let’s face it folks, that’s the only stat that actually matters.

SexFit goes to show that just because you have the technology to do something doesn’t mean you should.