The Wrong Man

I’m not going to say every man I dated has been The Wrong Man.

Obviously it didn’t work out with any of them and therefore I could categorize them all that way.

But one in particular takes the cake.

The one who took me from a 35 year old vanilla divorcée and turned me into something a little bit more worldly.

Okay, something A LOT more worldly.

I’ve made peace with him, after a long period of silence.

I actually thanked him for pushing me outside my comfort zone so that I could grow as a person.

In some ways, I miss who I was.

That vanilla woman who didn’t know a thing about social nudity, BDSM, etc.

Those were the easy days when life was a little less complicated.

When I thought I knew the rules that would guide me to a long and fulfilling life.

Occasionally, I question whether my relationship with him was a TOXIC relationship.

In the end, I can only conclude that it was a DEAD-END relationship, as in the relationship was destined to run its course and end in a flurry of tears (mine) and disappointment (his).

Although, there was that one day when he proposed. . .

In the 10 years since the relationship ended I’ve moved on, struggling from time to time to incorporate what I experienced with the person I want to be.

Struggling to be a non-vanilla woman in the mainstream world.

And I have him to thank for it.

Bondassage

bondThe other day, my friend Walt told me he had something done called bondassage.

It’s just what it sounds like – a combination between bondage and a massage.

Basically, you get naked, then you are blindfolded, tied up, and all sorts of stimulation is applied to your body – including slaps, strokes, massage, and flogging.

At least Walt THINKS he was flogged. He’s not entirely sure since he was blindfolded. But at the end, he felt flogged.

As Walk put it, “It’s a new thing.  There was a ton of skin stimulation with different textures that left my entire body tingling, vibrating, pulsing and whooshing for minutes after.  It’s great to just soak it in.”

Bondassage is touted as a great experience for people who want to explore BDSM but need to enter the scene slowly and with caution.

At least as much caution as is possible when you’re tied up and blindfolded (which I personally think requires a lot of trust).

The fruitful union of soothing touch and bodywork combined with something a little darker is starting to appeal to more than just your average man. Women are flocking to this new activity too. Perhaps because the appeal of BDSM and sensual massage is universal. And bondassage is so accessible.

According to Walt, it was very sexy. “I got a real good taste of it, enough that I am satisfied for now. I really liked the lighter stuff – the things that enhance sensation. I will want to learn that.”

And maybe that’s what he’s going to take away from this experience – the high sensation moments that left him feeling stimulated and satisfied. Things worth learning to please your partner.

Things that make you go hmmmmmmm…

Burning Man 2015: The Lady in White

IMG_7615At the burning of the Man, there was this woman walking around.

She wore no more than a white under-the-bust corset, a white collar that covered half her face, and a pair of white lace up toe shoes.

And when I say toe shoes, I mean shoes with such high heels, you’re forced to walk on your toes.

She also had her arms laced behind her back in a white arm corset.

A man, all in white, was escorting her around on a leash.

As she stumbled around the playa, I was mesmerized by her.

First of all it was 40 degrees. So cold, that she must’ve been freezing – not having pants or a shirt or jacket on. All she was wearing was a teeny tiny corset.

Secondly, as she stepped around the playa, her feet and ankles wobbled dangerously as if she was about to fall.

And yet she attempted to dance.

And it was then that I realized that with her arms laces behind her back, if she tripped and fell it would be a yard sale.

She never fell.

Collars up the wazoo

Honestly.

You buy one teensy weensy little collar and all of a sudden etsy SLAMS you with ads for BDSM accouterments.

collarFirst of all, I wasn’t even AWARE that there’s something out there called “Kitten Play.”

Although I imagine it’s probably a lot like “Puppy Play” which I have heard of.

I’m not into Furries, though.

I would likely NEVER wear a collar that says “Kitten.” Too soft and girly for me.

Personally, I’d go with “Fucktoy.”

OMG, I can’t believe I wrote that.

Too much honesty?

In any case, I bought a white leather collar to wear with my white wizard outfit.

collarAnd then I bought a rainbow chainmail collar with a heart hanging off it for my rainbow outfits.

collar rainbowAnd oh yeah, I bought a unicorn collar, just for shits and giggles.

collarSo I guess etsy isn’t too far off in recommending collars for me. I certainly seem to be acquiring quite a few for my collection.

Can’t wait to wear at SoulFire!

Burning Man 2015 Flashback: The Lady in White

IMG_7615At the burning of the Man, there was this woman walking around.

She wore no more than a white under-the-bust corset, a white collar that covered half her face, and a pair of white lace up toe shoes.

And when I say toe shoes, I mean shoes with such high heels, you’re forced to walk on your toes.

She also had her arms laced behind her back in a white arm corset.

A man, all in white, was escorting her around on a leash.

As she stumbled around the playa, I was mesmerized by her.

First of all it was 40 degrees. So cold, that she must’ve been freezing – not having pants or a shirt or jacket on. All she was wearing was a teeny tiny corset.

Secondly, as she stepped around the playa, her feet and ankles wobbled dangerously as if she was about to fall.

And yet she attempted to dance.

And it was then that I realized that with her arms laces behind her back, if she tripped and fell it would be a yard sale.

She never fell.

Nope. Never.

So I’m swiping through Tinder when I come across something striking.

A man’s profile picture containing nothing but whips, gags, floggers, paddles, and switches.

I’m intrigued.

Who does this on Tinder?

There are better sites to go fishing for BDSM play partners, after all.

Like FetLife.

But okay, I’ll bite.

So I read his profile.

Sure enough, he’s an experienced dom and he’s looking for women who want to explore their submissive side with him.

And he’s into kinky sex.

Duh.

I swiped left.

Nope.

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

That’s the nice thing about sowing your wild oats when you were younger – you have a better understanding of yourself, your likes, your dislikes.

Of course, I could always learn something new about myself, but I’m betting no.

If I’m going to explore new horizons, I’m going to do it through travel, or learning Swedish, or making new friends.

Maybe all three.

But hooking up with a Tinderized version of a dom?

No thanks.

The Swede, kissing and UnSCruz

OMG, she’s not going to blog about The Swede again, is she?

Yes.

She.

Is.

Because he’s handsome, funny, and shy and that all adds up to make him pretty fricking irresistible to me.

He’s CHARMING.

Lord knows I don’t meet enough charming men.

Ones who want to cum in my ass and on my face (two things which do NOTHING for me), but the charming ones are few and far between.

The Swede also kisses like a board certified expert.

Trust me.

I’ve kissed a lot of men.

The Swede is EASILY in the Top 5 best kissers of ALL TIME.

The best kisses suck you into them so all you can think about is their mouth on your mouth.

They curl your toes and maybe, JUST MAYBE, get you a little juicy.

That’s what it’s like to kiss The Swede.

I swear I want to just melt into his body and feel every inch of him against me.

I may get my chance at UnSCruz seeing as how we are sharing a tent together.

I warned him the other day, “There will be ropes. We’re staying in a BDSM camp.”

He replied, “I’ve never done that but it could be fun.”

This is exactly the attitude you need to have going into a Burning Man event: open minded, ready to have fun, curious.

“There may be nudity,” I warned him.

Yours or mine?

I think The Swede will have a great time.

I told him my wish for him, “I hope you have a mind blowing good time.”

And I do.

I really do.

Collars up the wazoo

Honestly.

You buy one teensy weensy little collar and all of a sudden etsy SLAMS you with ads for BDSM accouterments.

collarFirst of all, I wasn’t even AWARE that there’s something out there called “Kitten Play.”

Although I imagine it’s probably a lot like “Puppy Play” which I have heard of.

I’m not into Furries, though.

I would likely NEVER wear a collar that says “Kitten.” Too soft and girly for me.

Personally, I’d go with “Fucktoy.”

OMG, I can’t believe I wrote that.

Too much honesty?

In any case, I bought a white leather collar to wear with my white wizard outfit.

collarAnd then I bought a rainbow chainmail collar with a heart hanging off it for my rainbow outfits.

collar rainbowAnd oh yeah, I bought a unicorn collar, just for shits and giggles.

collarSo I guess etsy isn’t too far off in recommending collars for me. I certainly seem to be acquiring quite a few for my collection.

Can’t wait to wear at SoulFire!

The Lady in White

IMG_7615At the burning of the Man, there was this woman walking around.

She wore no more than a white under-the-bust corset, a white collar that covered half her face, and a pair of white lace up toe shoes.

And when I say toe shoes, I mean shoes with such high heels, you’re forced to walk on your toes.

She also had her arms laced behind her back in a white arm corset.

A man, all in white, was escorting her around on a leash.

As she stumbled around the playa, I was mesmerized by her.

First of all it was 40 degrees. So cold, that she must’ve been freezing – not having pants or a shirt or jacket on. All she was wearing was a teeny tiny corset.

Secondly, as she stepped around the playa, her feet and ankles wobbled dangerously as if she was about to fall.

And yet she attempted to dance.

And it was then that I realized that with her arms laces behind her back, if she tripped and fell it would be a yard sale.

She never fell.

Things that make you go hmmmmmmm…

bondThe other day, my friend Walt told me he had something done called bondassage.

It’s just what it sounds like – a combination between bondage and a massage.

Basically, you get naked, then you are blindfolded, tied up, and all sorts of stimulation is applied to your body – including slaps, strokes, massage, and flogging.

At least Walt THINKS he was flogged. He’s not entirely sure since he was blindfolded. But at the end, he felt flogged.

As Walk put it, “It’s a new thing.  There was a ton of skin stimulation with different textures that left my entire body tingling, vibrating, pulsing and whooshing for minutes after.  It’s great to just soak it in.”

Bondassage is touted as a great experience for people who want to explore BDSM but need to enter the scene slowly and with caution.

At least as much caution as is possible when you’re tied up and blindfolded (which I personally think requires a lot of trust).

The fruitful union of soothing touch and bodywork combined with something a little darker is starting to appeal to more than just your average man. Women are flocking to this new activity too. Perhaps because the appeal of BDSM and sensual massage is universal. And bondassage is so accessible.

According to Walt, it was very sexy. “I got a real good taste of it, enough that I am satisfied for now. I really liked the lighter stuff – the things that enhance sensation. I will want to learn that.”

And maybe that’s what he’s going to take away from this experience – the high sensation moments that left him feeling stimulated and satisfied. Things worth learning to please your partner.

Things that make you go hmmmmmmm…