Allergic to Hawaii

“Wake up!  You need to take your son to urgent care!”

That’s what I woke up to my first day in Hawaii.

“It looks like he has pink eye!”

My sister is a nurse, and when she declares something health-related, I listen.

But where is there Urgent Care on the island of O’ahu?

I quickly do a search on my phone, make a call, and load up Gavin in my rental car for inspection at Urgent Care.

I look at myself in the rear view mirror and discover something surprising. . .

My eye is swollen too!

A lot!

Aren’t we a pair.

So we go to Urgent Care and wait for it to open, busying ourselves with iced coffee we bought at a nearby coffee stand.

Then Gavin points it out.

Closed on Sundays.

And (of course) it’s Sunday.

Gah!

So I take a GOOD LONG LOOK AT GAVIN’S EYEBALL.

The lid is red, but the eyeball is nice and normal.

Probably NOT pink eye.

“What do you say we give it a day and see what happens?” I ask him.

He agrees, but will my sister.

Luckily Lisa agreed too, but asked for us both to pick up and take some Benadryl.

So we did.

And wouldn’t you know it. . . like magic, our swollen eyes took a chill pill and started to relax and look normal.

I believe it was my birthfather who upon seeing our swollen eye picture on Facebook coined the phrase, “YOU’RE ALLERGIC TO HAWAII!”

And indeed, it appeared that we were.

Sleeping on airplanes

I have NEVER.

Not EVEN ONCE.

Fallen asleep on an airplane.

Believe you me, it’s like TORTURE not being able to sleep.

All those hours ticking by, slowly, with my body contorted into an uncomfortable sitting position.

Pressure on my poor broken tailbone.

All the blood in my body pooling in my feet.

I am DETERMINED to fall asleep on my flight to Sweden.

Number one, because I want to shorten the long flight.

And number two, because I want to avoid jet lag.

So I have an arsenal of medications to soothe me.

First of all, I have my good pal Lorazepam.

I take it on every flight I go on, just to take the edge off.

Haven’t fallen asleep yet, but wait. . .

I also have my pal Melatonin.

6 mg of that puppy should put me on the edge of lullaby land.

And if that isn’t enough, I plan to consume my friends Benadryl and Dramamine.

Because those fuckers ALWAYS make me sleepy when I’m having an allergy attack or trying to avoid motion sickness.

Do I want the less drowsy formulas?

No fucking way!

Only full drowsiness for me.

The bottom line is that I am prepared to force my body to fall asleep at 3 pm PST and wake up at 9 am Stockholm time (12 am PST).

I may turn into a slug and melt into my seat, but by God, I will get some rest!