In my family, there’s something called a Zezza butt.

It’s a really nice ass, larger than most, but perky and round.

I’ve got a Zezza butt.

As does my cousin Jennifer and my brother Art.

We’ve even taken a picture of all our asses, lined up (I’m #2 in the lineup).

Not everyone likes Zezza butt, but they should.

It’s pretty awesome.

I recall one instance in fact when a very athletic burner requested that we fool around in his RV SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SEE “DAT ASS.”

It has slowly dawned on me that some people like curvy women.

Some people like slim women.

And some people LIKE ALL WOMEN.

I’ve given up trying to hide my body, which will never look like Heidi Klum’s, and am working on embracing all that JUNK IN MY TRUNK.

Starting with buying some short shorts for the Burn.

Okay, I DID buy a pair of shorts a few weeks ago that were (optimistically) two sizes smaller than my current size.

I’ve now replaced those shorts with booty hugging, booty boosting, putting-it-all-on-display jean shorts.

Four pairs, to be exact.

That way I’m sure to find something I like.

No, I won’t look like Jessica Simpson in my shorts but fuck, I like my thick thighs.

And other people do too.

They feel just as good wrapped around a sturdy man as slim ones.

And stuffing all my jelly into a pair of Daisy Dukes just gives me a little thrill.

Hope it gives you a thrill too. . .


Here are the people who made me.

I am forever grateful that two eighth graders fell in love at such a young age and acted WAY OLDER THAN THEY SHOULD HAVE when they made ME!

I personally think I look like my birth father’s side of the family but I have a lot of my birth mother’s personality traits.

I also have her eyes, her hands, and her legs.

There’s something about growing up not knowing who you look like that makes it ever so much more touching when you find out that yes, you do in fact resemble someone else.

And in my case, it’s nice that I take after both my birth parents.

Someday I may post the whole story because people seem incredibly interested in reunion stories.

The short version is I called my birth mom and told her who I was and I went to visit her the next day.

She told me who my birth father was and I stopped and visited him on my way home.

He invited all of his 5 siblings over his house to meet me and I’ll never forget someone showed up with an “It’s a Girl” cigar.

As far as reunions go, mine has been ideal.

I met my birth family when I was 22.

It has now been almost 22 years that I’ve known them.

Soon I’ll have known them longer than I was living without them.

But the BEST PART OF BEING ADOPTED AND REUNITED, besides finally knowing where you came from, is that you get oodles of SIBLINGS!

Here’s to Lisa, Omar, Cy, Lani, Art, and Brandon.

I heart all of you.



My birth father is the #1 child out of 6 kids. He has 2 brothers and three sisters.

It’s a BIG family.

You’d think, given the size of the family, and the fact that most of us live relatively local to each other, that we’d see each other a lot.

That is not the case.

So you can imagine how thrilled I am that we are having a party to celebrate my Aunt Xondra’s 50th birthday.


Time to see everyone all in one place.

I’m bringing Tejas with me to meet my birth family.

He’s been my BFF for over two years now and has yet to meet the people who made me.

Hopefully it won’t be the least bit awkward that he is the same age as my birth parents.

He’s under strict instructions to not hit on ANYONE unless he clears it with me first.

The thing about this party is that I don’t see much of my birth father’s side of the family, except for my Uncle Donald and Aunt Stacey and their family.

They live closer to me and I get to see them from time to time.

They also spawned my sister-cousin Jennifer who takes me to 49er games and enthralls me with her lingerie, lack of inhibition, and positive self-esteem.

Believe you me, if that woman wrote a blog, you’d all be following it.

She also happens to be drop dead gorgeous with knockers BIGGER THAN MINE.

Someday, I will take her to Burning Man and we will knock that shit OUT OF THE PARK!