Obsessive

I have several obsessions.

Evening gowns was one, although I have a friend “Amy” who puts me to shame with her endless evening gown collection.

After that it’s lingerie. I have drawer upon drawer of lingerie, most of which never gets worn because I like comfy cotton boyshorts and bras which are slightly too small for me, making the kittens look outrageously good.

Then there’s the obsession I don’t talk about very often – the black vinyl clothing obsession.

Who knew you could love synthetic fabric so much you would want to wear it close to your skin EVERY DAY?!

And speaking of naughty obsessions, there’s also my strange affection for neoprene.

Gotta love me some wetsuits!

Snort in that neoprene smell.

What I’ve failed to mention so far is that by and far my most ardent obsession is with makeup.

If you want to cheer me up, hand me $100 and take me to the drugstore or the department store and let me loose in Cosmetics.

I go bananas for pots and pans of colors!

My sons have evolved a technique to keep me from looking in the windows of Sephora because I can disappear in that store for HOURS!

My aunt, cousin, and niece all like going through my makeup and taking what I no longer use.

So it’s my niece’s birthday coming up and she, like me, loves makeup.

I bought her some nice, light colored eye shadow palettes and a pack of brushes – because every girl should learn to use brushes.

I am a damn fine auntie!

Fetish

black-vinyl-pvc-wet-look-corset-10581-pIt’s not like it’s rocket science.

It’s a fucking corset for fuck’s sake. I should be able to get in and out of one unassisted.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that I am woefully bad at shimmying in and out of corsets.

First of all, you have to “let out” the laces in order to get into it.

Then you have to tighten the laces until you achieve the proper exaggerated hourglass figure, or you stop breathing… whichever happens first.

You spend anywhere from a few hours to a whole day in the corset, enjoying the feeling of lightheadedness whilst you simultaneously feel like you’re close to passing out at any moment.

This is what a corset feels like.

By the time it’s time to take off the corset, you are more than ready to get out of it. Torture device!

I can’t slip out of a corset fast enough. My whole body sighs with relief when it’s off.

AND THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS BLOG is that I have to figure out a way to get in an out of a very naughty corset all by myself, with no help from anyone.

It’s a black vinyl PVC under-the-bust corset which I am wearing (with a black bra) to a fetish themed birthday party this weekend.

Because my fetish is, surprisingly, black vinyl*.

I love it.

No, I LOVE it.

I’d roll naked in yards of it if I could.

I bought my first black vinyl PVC piece on a lark, because it was cheaper than genuine leather and looked nicer than faux leather.

Imagine my surprise when I touched its soft, smooth, shiny skin and fell instantly in love.

So here I am, wondering how in the world I’m going to get into and out of my corset such that I can enjoy my fetish publicly at the party.

I’m quite excited by it, even though it’s challenging me.

That’s why it’s called a fetish folks.

 

*P.S.  My other fetish is neoprene.  You should see what wetsuits do to me!