Dating a blogger

It’s hard to date a blogger.

ESPECIALLY one as transparent as I am.

EVERYTHING goes on the internet:

You will usually find me blogging about whatever is on my mind from the men who capture my fancy, like The Swede; to past lovers who I remember fondly, like Jay and Charlie The Aussie; to men I fantasize about but can never have, like Alexander Skarsgård and Joe Manganiello.

IMG_9379I’d like to think I’m more of a lover than a hater. Unfortunately, the hate tends to be funnier than the love, like when The Hunk had an epic skill/equipment failure in bed with me.

IMG_9378I’ve been advised that the reason I’m single is because of this blog.

That might be true but I can’t help but feel like deep down, my blog will actually draw in the right man for me.

Imagine how nice it’d be to have all your experiences and secrets in one place where a person can read about them.

My thoughts. My hopes. My frustrations.

If a man can get through my blog posts AND STILL be interested in me, then he passed the test.

And the thing is, PLENTY of men like this blog and read it.

So there’s hope.

There’s a reason this blog is called unblunder…

Because everything seems wrong at first until it suddenly turns beautifully, epically RIGHT!

Censorship

Oh, don’t worry.

I haven’t been censored in a week.

The last time I was censored, Tejas asked me to edit my post about losing my pants at SoulFire so that he didn’t sounds quite so. . . so. . .

Inebriated.

But hello, I did EMPHASIZE that the cocktail I gave him at SoulFire was the same as slipping him a Mickey.

I try to point this out at every opportunity I get.

I “dosed” my friend.

I do have something to say about censorship, however.

People I know.

Liberal-minded, forward-thinking, educated individuals have censored me.

Once, a woman came up to me at the burn and said, “I prefer if you don’t blog about me.”

To which I wanted to respond, “Then don’t do anything INTERESTING!” only to realize that that was redundant.

And now, here I am, blogging about her.

I will say this, however.

There are people, lifestyles, events, and activities that I participate in or have friends who participate in which sort of defy explanation and get lost in translation.

If you ask me if my work knows that I go to Burning Man, the answer is “No.”

And that’s just an annual artistic community experiment in the desert.

What if there were other activities, outside the mainstream?

It has dawned on me, very slowly, that in spite of this blog, I do need to protect the identities and interests of some of my friends who trust me and continue to invite me to participate in their events.

So not everything goes in the blog.

I censor myself.

Blogging

write2-copyIt’s funny.

At least *I* think it’s funny.

You see, I’m a blogger so everything I experience is an opportunity to write something about it:

  • Kissing ex boyfriends in RVs at SoulFire.
  • Taking a dip in the hot tubs with men of questionable repute.
  • Peeing my pants in a onesie costume because I couldn’t get it off in time.

It’s all fodder for the blog. Even the stuff that makes me look like a nut case.

Sometimes I wonder how my friends and family REALLY feel about this blog.

Oh, of course to my face they like it and encourage me to write.

But really, deep down, how do they feel about being WRITTEN ABOUT and READING THE INTIMATE DETAILS OF MY LIFE.

There’s a saying among us writers:

If a writer falls in love with you, you never die.

write1There’s another saying though and it goes something like this:

Don’t piss off a writer. We’ll DESCRIBE you.

IMG_9378

I just want to publicly thank all my friends and family who put up with me and this tacky blog – whether I’ve given you a nickname or not.

Every time I write about my friends and family, I do it with love and respect and of course a HUGE dose of courage that they’ll be okay with what I write.

Thanks to them for putting up with me.

It takes a good sense of humor.

Transformation

Initially, unblunder was supposed to be an adventure blog chronicling all the crazy activities I participate in – running with the bulls, going to Burning Man, racing cars, taking beer making classes, learning to lap dance, making glass bowls, throwing tomatoes in a big group free-for-all, etc.

It has slowly drifted off topic, as I focused more and more on my dating life.

All the strange and unusual experiences I had with strange and unusual men became fodder for the blog.

Perhaps inappropriately so, as some have suggested.

The thing about a blog is it’s a BIG challenge to write every day and still manage to say something useful.

Some days I succeed.

Some days I failed.

Hopefully more of the former and less of the latter.

Regardless, this blog has taken on topics I’m not comfortable sharing anymore.

So I’m going to ratchet back the posts and try to stick to valuable content and let my personal life recover from overexposure.

Wish me luck!

It’s hard to date a blogger

It’s hard to date a blogger.

ESPECIALLY one as transparent as I am.

EVERYTHING goes on the internet:

You will usually find me blogging about whatever is on my mind from the men who capture my fancy, like The Swede; to past lovers who I remember fondly, like Jay and Charlie The Aussie; to men I fantasize about but can never have, like Alexander Skarsgård and Joe Manganiello.

IMG_9379I’d like to think I’m more of a lover than a hater. Unfortunately, the hate tends to be funnier than the love, like when The Hunk had an epic skill/equipment failure in bed with me.

IMG_9378I’ve been advised that the reason I’m single is because of this blog.

That might be true but I can’t help but feel like deep down, my blog will actually draw in the right man for me.

Imagine how nice it’d be to have all your experiences and secrets in one place where a person can read about them.

My thoughts. My hopes. My frustrations.

If a man can get through my blog posts AND STILL be interested in me, then he passed the test.

And the thing is, PLENTY of men like this blog and read it.

So there’s hope.

There’s a reason this blog is called unblunder…

Because everything seems wrong at first until it suddenly turns beautifully, epically RIGHT!

When you blog

write2-copyIt’s funny.

At least *I* think it’s funny.

You see, I’m a blogger so everything I experience is an opportunity to write something about it:

  • Kissing ex boyfriends in RVs at SoulFire.
  • Taking a dip in the hot tubs with men of questionable repute.
  • Peeing my pants in a onesie costume because I couldn’t get it off in time.
  • Puking down the side of Krunch’s car post-party.

It’s all fodder for the blog. Even the stuff that makes me look like a nut case.

Sometimes I wonder how my friends and family REALLY feel about this blog.

Oh, of course to my face they like it and encourage me to write.

But really, deep down, how do they feel about being WRITTEN ABOUT and READING THE INTIMATE DETAILS OF MY LIFE.

There’s a saying among us writers:

If a writer falls in love with you, you never die.

write1There’s another saying though and it goes something like this:

Don’t piss off a writer. We’ll DESCRIBE you.

IMG_9378Truthfully, I don’t get mad very often so there’s infrequent roasting of people on my blog.

[Sorry, mom. Don’t read this part.]

The last good roast was The Israeli who liked facials but got it in my eye and all over my hair thereby pissing me off.

I had SPECIFICALLY TOLD HIM NOT TO GET IT IN MY HAIR!

Turns out, there are some sexual activities I don’t like.

And some Israelis.

But ENOUGH about him.

I just want to publically thank all my friends and family who put up with me and this tacky blog – whether I’ve given you a nickname or not.

Every time I write about my friends and family, I do it with love and respect and of course a HUGE dose of courage that they’ll be okay with what I write.

Thanks to them for putting up with me.

It takes a huge amount of humor.

Save

Save

Am I a Neanderthal?

My BFF sat me down and had a good talk with me the other day.

She was talking about my blog.

Specifically, how I’m a much better person than the way I portray myself in my posts…

…and how I will never meet a quality guy as long as I’m posting similar content to my blog.

Hard, but necessary words to hear.

I love this blog. For the most part it takes a not-so-serious look at my life and finds a way to laugh at it, when there isn’t always a whole lot to laugh about.

If I make fun of anyone, it’s mostly myself.

But the conversation did get me thinking about my blog posts… most of which seem to revolve around sex.

Like it or not, the blog posts my audience reads are the sex posts. Either the sex posts or the ones that have cleavage shots in them.

But since my blog is terribly sexual, I started to wonder… am I as bad as the men I date?  Am I a Neanderthal?

Uh. Men. Uh. Sex. Uh. Boobs. Uh. Uh. Uh. Grunt.

I always figured that people who get to know me would realize I’m not the cartoon I make myself out to be on the pages of unblunder.

But maybe I need to say it outright.

I am no Neanderthal.

I am eloquent and funny. I am generous and kind. I help people and I give great advice. I’m empathetic and thoughtful. I can pick out the perfect present for anyone given few personal details. I’m a great mom and an even better human being.  I can cheer you up if you’re sad. I love to see people smile. I’m bright and quick witted. I can laugh at myself. I have big hopes for myself. But most of all I love easily.

So maybe I’m not the caricature you read about on this blog. Maybe I’m more complex. Maybe I should stop catering with cleavage shots and sex posts.

Maybe I should stop acting like a Neanderthal and start acting like myself.

Final hurrah

IMG_7892I was going to blog about this really sweet man I met at SoulFire who I am going out with today, but then I thought the better of it.

No sense mucking up this blog with more burner details that no one wants to hear, right?

Well, OF COURSE everyone wants to HEAR the details. It’s just that not everyone wants to be the SUBJECT of the details.

Suffice to say that I am really excited to be going out this weekend with someone who I met and really liked.

I’m driving ALL THE WAY TO THE CITY IN MY BIG TRUCK which must mean I’m into him because y’all know how much I HATE taking my truck into the city and trying to park it.

It usually costs me $60 to park an oversize truck in parking lots, and that’s if the parking lot even ALLOWS it. Most refuse to take my truck.

And let’s not even TALK parallel parking.

That’s almost an impossibility in my truck.

In any case, it’s going to be another date where I get to wear a costume. I swear, I’m spending more time in costumes than I am in street clothing.

So I’ll be with this new guy in the city for the last day before my 37th birthday. (Tomorrow’s my birthday! 🙂  )

LOL

Not a bad way to spend the day, if you ask me.

Wish me luck!

Erased

michelleI now have 75 PRIVATE posts on my blog.

Private posts don’t show up to the general public. And they have no password to access them.

They can only be read by me.

Why did I make 75 posts private, you ask?

Well, it’s because I thought some of the backstories of my life deserved to be erased.

Oh, they’re still there if I ever want to go back and read them and remember if I want to be nostalgic.

But I’m the only one who can read them. No one else can come across those posts.  Not even if you search for certain topics or keywords.

Am I disappointed, you want to know…

Sure, I’m a little disappointed.

I put a lot of time and effort writing those posts.

But in the end, the most important thing is that no one else read those backstories.

They’re for my eyes only, you could say.

When you write a blog

michelleOkay, that didn’t last long.

Unblunder is back online!

Recently, I’ve gotten into a lot of hot water for blogging about other people.  Some people have been concerned with what I wrote about them.  I can only say I’m sorry and I’ll keep this blog focused on my personal life in the future and leave burners/OMers/boyfriends/etc. out of it.  Please forgive.

And this was seriously the blog post that was scheduled for today:

 

Writing a blog takes a lot of creative juices.

Imagine having to come up with an interesting topic/s every single day.

At least that’s what I have to do since I publish daily.

I like to think of it as a very selfless and a very selfish process.

On the one hand, you’re writing for the entertainment of others. It’s like having a second job. Research goes into it. So does planning and hard work.

On the other hand, I write a lot about myself and my life so I think of it as a very selfish process. I get to write about me and whatever I feel like writing that day.

Between you and me, I also write because I have a very bad memory. And it helps to keep a journal with all my thoughts, activities, and interests.

The one thing I’m never prepared for is when someone I barely know approaches me and starts talking about my life. I’m always a little surprised that people know and remember the details I post online. Lord knows I forget them.

I’ve been approached by acquaintances at parties who mention that they love my blog and I instantly know that they know almost all the details of my life.

They know me.

Suddenly I realize that they know I picked my nose at Burning Man. And my heart’s been broken recently. And I like to buy expensive lingerie. And I failed to lose my virginity when I tried my sophomore year in high school. And oh, so much more!

Ultimately, what I like about having a blog that isn’t anonymous is that it lets me connect with people I normally wouldn’t get the chance to connect with.

  • Marty.
  • Jeanne and Nicole from high school.
  • Rick from North Carolina.

So feel free to send me a text, drop me an email at michelle@unblunder.com, or provide a little feedback the next time I see you.

It’s good to have you here.