Blog it

To be honest, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately.

Nothing I’m ready to talk about online, but suffice to say something HUGE is in the works.

And I’m working hard to be the best, most supportive person I can be.

But it ain’t easy.

There’s a lot I need to do to get me through the next few months.

Lean on my friends and family, is one thing.

Research LGBTQ issues is another.

But mostly, I need to find a way to reflect and find inner peace so that I have balance in my life.

I really want to try my hand at ceramics.

There’s a place nearby called Higher Fire Clayspace and Gallery.

It really appeals to me, making ceramics out of a lump of clay.

I also feel an overwhelming urge to go to the ocean.

Kayak with whales.

Take a whale watching boat tour.

Maybe just go to the beach and hang out with my thoughts and feelings.

Oh sure, I’ve still got the Junior League, the Village, and the Burners to keep me busy.

In fact, I have to figure out what my gift to the playa will be this year.

But overall, I’m sort of in an unusual place and I need to move through this and get to the other side.

It’s going to be a process, but I’ll make it.

And when I’m ready, I’ll blog it.

I’m big in South Africa

So maybe I don’t have a HUGE fan base in the US.

It’s just a couple of ex-boyfriends, some burners, and my birthmom who read this blog.

But I’m big in South Africa.

And, incidentally, Sweden.

But we all know why. . . I write about The Swede.

The Swedes. . . well they like that I enjoy my Swede.

But the South Africans?

Now why would someone in South Africa follow my blog?

I have a few ideas.

First of all, they seem to surf into my posts where I am trying to date while being totally frustrated with the whole experience.

Maybe dating in South Africa is challenging as well.

They also seem to like my BOUDOIR photos.

Which, in case you haven’t seen them, are HERE.

But I also get a lot of visits from India for the exact same reason.

What can I say, I’m a thick snack and SOME PEOPLE LIKE THAT.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if it’s dating or boudoir photos.

I just like having an international group of blog followers.

If you’ve read this post to the end, then take a second to comment and tell me what country you’re from. . .

 

I’m a blogger

I’m a blogger.

My life appears on the internet for other people to read and absorb.

I write because I have a bad memory and a diary is the best way for me to keep track of what happens in my life.

I put it on the internet because I’m trying to connect with other people, even if it’s just through a story.

I think there’s wisdom that can be gleaned between the lines of my life, if not by me then by someone else.

Everybody I write about, I fall in love with.

They represent a character in my life and whether temporary or permanent, they always play a part in my development.

Some people I clearly adore: my children, my family, The Swede, Tejas, Barbara, Michelle, Marina, and so many more.

Other people pop in and out, like Coke Can Dan, Jack and Jill, and The Photographer.

Rest assured they’ve all captured a place in my heart.

There is little I enjoy more than writing about a friend, new or old, who has captured my attention.

I never do them justice.

Personalities are far too rich and nuanced for me to capture in my simple writing.

But I try.

And honestly, nothing is better than reading old posts and being reminded of old friends I haven’t seen in a while so I pick up the phone and call.

I hope they know how much I love them.

Dating a blogger

It’s hard to date a blogger.

ESPECIALLY one as transparent as I am.

EVERYTHING goes on the internet:

You will usually find me blogging about whatever is on my mind from the men who capture my fancy, like The Swede; to past lovers who I remember fondly, like Jay and Charlie The Aussie; to men I fantasize about but can never have, like Alexander Skarsgård and Joe Manganiello.

IMG_9379I’d like to think I’m more of a lover than a hater. Unfortunately, the hate tends to be funnier than the love, like when The Hunk had an epic skill/equipment failure in bed with me.

IMG_9378I’ve been advised that the reason I’m single is because of this blog.

That might be true but I can’t help but feel like deep down, my blog will actually draw in the right man for me.

Imagine how nice it’d be to have all your experiences and secrets in one place where a person can read about them.

My thoughts. My hopes. My frustrations.

If a man can get through my blog posts AND STILL be interested in me, then he passed the test.

And the thing is, PLENTY of men like this blog and read it.

So there’s hope.

There’s a reason this blog is called unblunder…

Because everything seems wrong at first until it suddenly turns beautifully, epically RIGHT!

Censorship

Oh, don’t worry.

I haven’t been censored in a week.

The last time I was censored, Tejas asked me to edit my post about losing my pants at SoulFire so that he didn’t sounds quite so. . . so. . .

Inebriated.

But hello, I did EMPHASIZE that the cocktail I gave him at SoulFire was the same as slipping him a Mickey.

I try to point this out at every opportunity I get.

I “dosed” my friend.

I do have something to say about censorship, however.

People I know.

Liberal-minded, forward-thinking, educated individuals have censored me.

Once, a woman came up to me at the burn and said, “I prefer if you don’t blog about me.”

To which I wanted to respond, “Then don’t do anything INTERESTING!” only to realize that that was redundant.

And now, here I am, blogging about her.

I will say this, however.

There are people, lifestyles, events, and activities that I participate in or have friends who participate in which sort of defy explanation and get lost in translation.

If you ask me if my work knows that I go to Burning Man, the answer is “No.”

And that’s just an annual artistic community experiment in the desert.

What if there were other activities, outside the mainstream?

It has dawned on me, very slowly, that in spite of this blog, I do need to protect the identities and interests of some of my friends who trust me and continue to invite me to participate in their events.

So not everything goes in the blog.

I censor myself.

Blogging

write2-copyIt’s funny.

At least *I* think it’s funny.

You see, I’m a blogger so everything I experience is an opportunity to write something about it:

  • Kissing ex boyfriends in RVs at SoulFire.
  • Taking a dip in the hot tubs with men of questionable repute.
  • Peeing my pants in a onesie costume because I couldn’t get it off in time.

It’s all fodder for the blog. Even the stuff that makes me look like a nut case.

Sometimes I wonder how my friends and family REALLY feel about this blog.

Oh, of course to my face they like it and encourage me to write.

But really, deep down, how do they feel about being WRITTEN ABOUT and READING THE INTIMATE DETAILS OF MY LIFE.

There’s a saying among us writers:

If a writer falls in love with you, you never die.

write1There’s another saying though and it goes something like this:

Don’t piss off a writer. We’ll DESCRIBE you.

IMG_9378

I just want to publicly thank all my friends and family who put up with me and this tacky blog – whether I’ve given you a nickname or not.

Every time I write about my friends and family, I do it with love and respect and of course a HUGE dose of courage that they’ll be okay with what I write.

Thanks to them for putting up with me.

It takes a good sense of humor.

Transformation

Initially, unblunder was supposed to be an adventure blog chronicling all the crazy activities I participate in – running with the bulls, going to Burning Man, racing cars, taking beer making classes, learning to lap dance, making glass bowls, throwing tomatoes in a big group free-for-all, etc.

It has slowly drifted off topic, as I focused more and more on my dating life.

All the strange and unusual experiences I had with strange and unusual men became fodder for the blog.

Perhaps inappropriately so, as some have suggested.

The thing about a blog is it’s a BIG challenge to write every day and still manage to say something useful.

Some days I succeed.

Some days I failed.

Hopefully more of the former and less of the latter.

Regardless, this blog has taken on topics I’m not comfortable sharing anymore.

So I’m going to ratchet back the posts and try to stick to valuable content and let my personal life recover from overexposure.

Wish me luck!

It’s hard to date a blogger

It’s hard to date a blogger.

ESPECIALLY one as transparent as I am.

EVERYTHING goes on the internet:

You will usually find me blogging about whatever is on my mind from the men who capture my fancy, like The Swede; to past lovers who I remember fondly, like Jay and Charlie The Aussie; to men I fantasize about but can never have, like Alexander Skarsgård and Joe Manganiello.

IMG_9379I’d like to think I’m more of a lover than a hater. Unfortunately, the hate tends to be funnier than the love, like when The Hunk had an epic skill/equipment failure in bed with me.

IMG_9378I’ve been advised that the reason I’m single is because of this blog.

That might be true but I can’t help but feel like deep down, my blog will actually draw in the right man for me.

Imagine how nice it’d be to have all your experiences and secrets in one place where a person can read about them.

My thoughts. My hopes. My frustrations.

If a man can get through my blog posts AND STILL be interested in me, then he passed the test.

And the thing is, PLENTY of men like this blog and read it.

So there’s hope.

There’s a reason this blog is called unblunder…

Because everything seems wrong at first until it suddenly turns beautifully, epically RIGHT!

When you blog

write2-copyIt’s funny.

At least *I* think it’s funny.

You see, I’m a blogger so everything I experience is an opportunity to write something about it:

  • Kissing ex boyfriends in RVs at SoulFire.
  • Taking a dip in the hot tubs with men of questionable repute.
  • Peeing my pants in a onesie costume because I couldn’t get it off in time.
  • Puking down the side of Krunch’s car post-party.

It’s all fodder for the blog. Even the stuff that makes me look like a nut case.

Sometimes I wonder how my friends and family REALLY feel about this blog.

Oh, of course to my face they like it and encourage me to write.

But really, deep down, how do they feel about being WRITTEN ABOUT and READING THE INTIMATE DETAILS OF MY LIFE.

There’s a saying among us writers:

If a writer falls in love with you, you never die.

write1There’s another saying though and it goes something like this:

Don’t piss off a writer. We’ll DESCRIBE you.

IMG_9378Truthfully, I don’t get mad very often so there’s infrequent roasting of people on my blog.

[Sorry, mom. Don’t read this part.]

The last good roast was The Israeli who liked facials but got it in my eye and all over my hair thereby pissing me off.

I had SPECIFICALLY TOLD HIM NOT TO GET IT IN MY HAIR!

Turns out, there are some sexual activities I don’t like.

And some Israelis.

But ENOUGH about him.

I just want to publically thank all my friends and family who put up with me and this tacky blog – whether I’ve given you a nickname or not.

Every time I write about my friends and family, I do it with love and respect and of course a HUGE dose of courage that they’ll be okay with what I write.

Thanks to them for putting up with me.

It takes a huge amount of humor.

Save

Save

Am I a Neanderthal?

My BFF sat me down and had a good talk with me the other day.

She was talking about my blog.

Specifically, how I’m a much better person than the way I portray myself in my posts…

…and how I will never meet a quality guy as long as I’m posting similar content to my blog.

Hard, but necessary words to hear.

I love this blog. For the most part it takes a not-so-serious look at my life and finds a way to laugh at it, when there isn’t always a whole lot to laugh about.

If I make fun of anyone, it’s mostly myself.

But the conversation did get me thinking about my blog posts… most of which seem to revolve around sex.

Like it or not, the blog posts my audience reads are the sex posts. Either the sex posts or the ones that have cleavage shots in them.

But since my blog is terribly sexual, I started to wonder… am I as bad as the men I date?  Am I a Neanderthal?

Uh. Men. Uh. Sex. Uh. Boobs. Uh. Uh. Uh. Grunt.

I always figured that people who get to know me would realize I’m not the cartoon I make myself out to be on the pages of unblunder.

But maybe I need to say it outright.

I am no Neanderthal.

I am eloquent and funny. I am generous and kind. I help people and I give great advice. I’m empathetic and thoughtful. I can pick out the perfect present for anyone given few personal details. I’m a great mom and an even better human being.  I can cheer you up if you’re sad. I love to see people smile. I’m bright and quick witted. I can laugh at myself. I have big hopes for myself. But most of all I love easily.

So maybe I’m not the caricature you read about on this blog. Maybe I’m more complex. Maybe I should stop catering with cleavage shots and sex posts.

Maybe I should stop acting like a Neanderthal and start acting like myself.