Tag Archives: blogger

Pretty Fat Chick

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I am not your standard plus size blogger.

I don’t have trolls who insult me.

And I’m not ALL ABOUT being plus size in a world that favors mainstream sizing.

I mean don’t get me wrong. . . I have entire blog posts on my plus size hauls from Shein, New York and Company, and Pretty Little Thing.

And I have a whole Pinterest board dedicated to Plus Size Burning Man.

But it’s not all I write about.

I may not be the posterchild for plus size ladies, there are curvy models far prettier than I who can do a much better job of that.

Ashley Graham, for instance.

I once saw an interview she gave about getting started in modeling where she was told over and over again, “You’re pretty for a fat chick.”

No one’s ever come up to me and said that.

For the most part, I hear nothing but support as I work on increasing my activity and decreasing my caloric intake.

But it’s fair to say that I could, in time, hear someone tell me that.

So I’ve decided to own it.

All of it.

Fat chick?

Yes, that’s PRETTY fat chick to you!

Sliding naked down a hot slide

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I struggle with my blog posts quite a bit.

Should I write truthfully, changing names to protect people’s identity?

Or should I only write a version of the truth, putting a spin on things so that no one gets cross at me?

It’s a tough tightrope to walk.

On the one hand, I want to capture events as close to reality as possible.

On the other hand, sometimes people don’t behave as well as they should as the results are. . . well. . . entertaining.

The other day I wrote a password protected post.

In it, I described being intimate with an [ahem] well-endowed man with very little foreplay.

You can imagine the results.

I cross my legs just thinking about it.

What I left out was that I probably instigated the sex prematurely when I handed my partner a bottle of lube.

Not for sex, but for lubrication.

I was damp from the hot tub and he was dry.

Touching him was like trying to slide naked down a hot slide.

It was sticky so I grabbed lube!

I left out other key details as well.

So although I didn’t lie, the truth wasn’t captured completely, and the blog post made my date sound like a real jerk when the reality was he really was only trying to make me happy.

Who’s the jerk now?

In any case, I’ve decided that since I will continue to blog, I need to be as accurate as possible.

But I also anticipate that I will get in trouble again.

People just want to censor you when you mention them.

Par for the course in blogging.

Honestly, writers should come with a warning:

But also?

This:

Dating a blogger

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It’s hard to date a blogger.

ESPECIALLY one as transparent as I am.

EVERYTHING goes on the internet:

You will usually find me blogging about whatever is on my mind from the men who capture my fancy, like The Swede; to past lovers who I remember fondly, like Jay and Charlie The Aussie; to men I fantasize about but can never have, like Alexander Skarsgård and Joe Manganiello.

IMG_9379I’d like to think I’m more of a lover than a hater. Unfortunately, the hate tends to be funnier than the love, like when The Hunk had an epic skill/equipment failure in bed with me.

IMG_9378I’ve been advised that the reason I’m single is because of this blog.

That might be true but I can’t help but feel like deep down, my blog will actually draw in the right man for me.

Imagine how nice it’d be to have all your experiences and secrets in one place where a person can read about them.

My thoughts. My hopes. My frustrations.

If a man can get through my blog posts AND STILL be interested in me, then he passed the test.

And the thing is, PLENTY of men like this blog and read it.

So there’s hope.

There’s a reason this blog is called unblunder…

Because everything seems wrong at first until it suddenly turns beautifully, epically RIGHT!

It’s hard to date a blogger

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It’s hard to date a blogger.

ESPECIALLY one as transparent as I am.

EVERYTHING goes on the internet:

You will usually find me blogging about whatever is on my mind from the men who capture my fancy, like The Swede; to past lovers who I remember fondly, like Jay and Charlie The Aussie; to men I fantasize about but can never have, like Alexander Skarsgård and Joe Manganiello.

IMG_9379I’d like to think I’m more of a lover than a hater. Unfortunately, the hate tends to be funnier than the love, like when The Hunk had an epic skill/equipment failure in bed with me.

IMG_9378I’ve been advised that the reason I’m single is because of this blog.

That might be true but I can’t help but feel like deep down, my blog will actually draw in the right man for me.

Imagine how nice it’d be to have all your experiences and secrets in one place where a person can read about them.

My thoughts. My hopes. My frustrations.

If a man can get through my blog posts AND STILL be interested in me, then he passed the test.

And the thing is, PLENTY of men like this blog and read it.

So there’s hope.

There’s a reason this blog is called unblunder…

Because everything seems wrong at first until it suddenly turns beautifully, epically RIGHT!

Am I a writer?

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Am I a writer?

That’s a good question.

I certainly sit at the computer and type words into sentences on the screen.

But does that make me a writer?

I have a friend who is a published poet.

She writes amazing things that make me catch my breath and pause a moment in awareness that she has struck some significant sympathetic chord in me.

What do I write?

Blurbs about my life, dating, and the adventures that my life brings to me.

Occasionally, I SHOUT.

I’ve never really thought of myself as a writer.

Except that I am.

There’s more truth on the pages of unblunder than there is in the pages of an encyclopedia.

And occasionally there’s more depth – as evidenced by me admitting to experimenting with fringe sexual practices and chronicling my (mis) adventures, especially in dating.

Someday I may write a book.

But right now, I’m going to focus on this blog which is a guilty pleasure for many.

I’m trying to make sense of this world and my place in it.

Heaven knows I don’t have all the answers.

Do you?

hemingway

Is it me?

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michelleSo.

There’s this blogger.

He’s a Brit with a rather interesting blog that I just checked out the other day.

If you get a chance, hit it up at The Entertainment Patrol.

I know very little about David except that:

  1. He comments on my blog.
  2. He doesn’t like smoking.
  3. He has an interesting affection for rhinos and sharks.
  4. He has a crush on another WordPress blogger.

That is the sum total of everything I know about him.

The good news is I can read his blog and learn more.

The bad news is I can read his blog and learn more.

You never know what you’re going to find out when you read someone’s personal blog. And since his seems to keep his blog more anonymous than mine, it could be A LOT MORE PERSONAL than unblunder.

What does a person say when there’s no accountability?

Well, as it turns out, his blog seems to be a platform for animal rights. Or at least a place for him to express his support of humans helping animals and not eradicating them from the face of the earth for all eternity.

It’s at times like this that I feel a little sheepish about my own lighthearted blog.

I mean, talking about boobs, lingerie, and facials does nothing to actually improve the world and actually sucks up a fraction of life while I write posts on those subjects and you read them.

There’s 1 minute of your life you’ll never recover.

Nevertheless, I stand by my blog for what it is:

Frivolous entertainment that stimulates your funny bone.

Bone, being the operative word here.

Ha!

In any case, part of me wants to read more of his blog and part of me doesn’t.

What’s the use in liking a (younger) man who lives across the pond?

That is the crucial question.

But of course, it does bring up another question. . .

. . . Exactly WHO is this WordPress blogger he has a crush on?

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Milestones!

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This was a momentous week for me. I finally hit 200 followers on WordPress (not including my Facebook readers) AND I got 1,000 likes.

You can’t imagine how rewarding it is to reach milestones like these.

Combined with my Lovely Blog nomination, I’m feeling like I’m doing something right on my blog.

Writing a blog is a little like having a second job. Instead of having free time, I’m scouring the internet for new blog topics or scanning my brain for ideas.

All the creativity comes from me and I have to say I’d be so disappointed if I didn’t have anyone reading my blog.

Consider that a few short weeks ago I was ready to turn in the towel and lay unblunder to rest.

It was nice to see all the support that came from my post “Am I a Neanderthal?”. That’s when my self-doubts came to a head.

I like to think of myself as a writer. In reality I’m a writer who donates her work to the internet (via my blog) and to charities (via my work with non-profits). Every time I see my name in the byline I get a little shiver.

I’ve been told to write about what you know, which is why I write about my life and all the shenanigans that ensue.

I hope you’re as entertained by reading my posts as I am by writing my posts.

So thank you for the adds and for all the likes. And thank you for reading

This blogger is one happy lady!