Writing

I write about what I love.

What I feel passionate about.

My kids.

Burning Man.

Travel.

Costuming.

Friends.

Some people love when I write about them.

Others don’t want the exposure.

My response when people ask me not to blog about them is always to respect their boundaries.

Internally my response is different, however.

Internally, I’m hoping that they don’t do anything interesting or entertaining.

Because ultimately, I write about what is interesting (to me).

Thankfully, most of my friends are okay with being blogged.

Perhaps they understand better than most that if a writer falls in love with you, you can never die.

You live on forever in the words that captured your essence.

Personally, I’d love to fall for a writer.

I find writers to be some of the most romantic people out there in the world.

Because I express myself well through written words I pair up nicely with someone else who enjoys the written word.

It’s just that simple.

I’m dying to write about more people, including but not limited to a significant other.

There’s not much else I can be doing to meet someone during a pandemic, but I certainly can write about the friends I love and cherish.

When a writer writes about you, you live forever.

Okay Writer

Nothing about my blog is elevated or lofty.

I’m not the best writer.

At my best, I’m brave.

At my worst, I’m boring.

Some blogs I’m particularly proud of.

Others?

Not so much.

Lately, I’ve been writing a bunch of not-so-great blogs.

But lately, life has been not so great.

And I’m doing okay.

No Covid-19 (yet).

I (still) have a job and health insurance.

I (currently) have a home.

So take everything I say with a grain of salt.

I write because I once heard that it takes 10,000 hours to get good at something (was it Malcolm Gladwell?).

If blogging nearly every day for 15 years doesn’t count as getting good at something, then I don’t know what does.

I practice.

And keep practicing.

It’s all I can do.

Cheeky blogging

I’m always fascinated to see what kind of search terms people put in to Google or Yahoo when they surf into my site.

Here are a few search terms I came across today:

1. Rubbed My Butt Massage Naked Spa Blog

2. Boys wearing sissy panties

3. Massage ass woman vedio (nice spelling of video, eh? I had to resist the urge to pick up a red pen and write “F” on my computer screen)

4. Proper doggie style technique (can you actually mess up this position? Enough that you would google “proper technique” to educate yourself? Here’s a tip – hold on to her and keep your head away from the headboard.)

5. Indoctrinated foot fetish

And, get this….

6. Nude buldging camel toe (AGAIN with the freaky spelling!)

So in celebration of managing to say one thing and get content crawled into something TOTALLY different (all except for the 1-10 Brazilian Wax search, that one I deserve wholeheartedly)…

…I’ve decided to post a ginormous picture of my ass as a banner.

Live it., Breathe it.Download it.

banner-f

Scoping out the internet

Here’s the latest I’ve found entertaining on the internet:

Burried in puppies from r/Eyebleach

 

Resting Chonk:

 

The Louder the Monkey, the Smaller Its Balls, Study Finds (click image for article):

 

You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch Rock Cover (gives me shivers):

 

For my camping friends, glow-in-the-dark tent ropes:

 

Kyle Larson’s wife shotguns a Busch heavy tallboy (in an evening gown!):

 

Normally, I’m not a pink person, but for some reason I love this ($60):

 

Must be in a pink mode because I ALSO LOVE THESE Willa earrings from Loren Hope ($198):

 

Nearly black succulent, takes my breath away ($10-$20):

Wanna surprise your lover?  Get a pair of panties with his face ALL OVER THEM ($20):

 

Eleven snacks pickle lovers should try, for my burner friends:

And FINALLY, I’ve got NO FUCKS LEFT TO GIVE:

The winds of change

Most of my Tinder dates while being thoroughly entertaining, only last one date or two before they fizzle out.

So I’m going on a lot of first dates, a few second dates, and virtually no one has stuck.

Ironically, I’ve made more friends on Tinder than lovers and it’s just a testament to my stubbornness that I’m online AT ALL!

Gradually, over time I’ve begun to question the wisdom of blogging my dates with men on this site.

I mean, exactly how many men want to be preceded by their “reputation” when dating me?

I think it’s clear to me that the answer is NO ONE.

And so it is with tremendous thought and self-reflection that I’ve decided to slow down my blogging and eliminate my dating life from my daily journals.

I’m sure it comes with GREAT SATISFACTION to some of my friends who have been advocating for this for years.

The Photographer is one such advocate, who has told me every chance he gets to SLOW DOWN BLOGGING MEN!

Michelle is another friend who supports the “less is more” movement on unblunder.

Needless to say I’m a little nervous about having enough content to post every day.

My quilting and costuming posts are never as popular as my dating posts.

But that’s something I can live with if it creates a little space for someone to actually enter my life, without judgment or prejudice, and enjoy my company for a little while.

Also, it’s okay if I’m not glued to my computer dreaming up blog posts that are only read by a thousand people.

I’ve got a life.

It’s time to live it instead of constantly writing about things I want to do and men I occasionally date.

Juice

I’ve been waiting for the exact right moment to write a post titled Juice, after one of my favorite songs by Lizzo.

And now I can.

Because my JUICE is back.

I’ve been struggling to write blog posts lately, when usually they just come out of me as freely as shit comes out of a baby (and about as pleasant).

But ever since I got ghosted for a second time, I’ve been struggling to relight my inner fire.

I’ve been recycling posts and using my quilt hobby as a major contribution to my posts in the last few weeks.

But not anymore because the JUICE is back and it’s flowing baby!

Just in time for Halloween and my birthday.

It may have something to do with the fact that it’s officially been almost two months since I got ghosted and I’ve finally released the latent outrage I was feeling.

Or, it could have something to do with the fact that it’s just impossible to keep me quiet for any length of time.

OR. . .

. . . maybe it has to do with the hot tub date I had last week where I managed to really knock one out of the park with a really phenomenal. . . BAT!

But baseball analogies aside, I’m feeling good and I’m having a good time writing new blog posts for unblunder.

So thanks for sticking with me.

And in the immortal words of Lizzo:

If I’m shinin’, everybody gonna shine
I was born like this, don’t even gotta try
I’m like chardonnay, get better over time
Heard you say I’m not the baddest, bitch, you lied

I am one JUICY woman!

Burning Man 2019

It’s THAT time of year again!

The time when I pack up my belongings and head out to the Black Rock Desert in Nevada for Burning Man.

I won’t be able to post while I’m away so I’ve prearranged some blog posts from PREVIOUS burns to entertain while I’m away.

In the next 12 days you can read all about my Burning Man adventures, including getting there, Saunadome, lessons I’ve learned, men I’ve (ahem) “partied” with, cocksucking certifications, the trash fence, and half hard cocks.

That’s right, I said half hard cocks.

Regular posting will resume on September 4th and I hope you enjoy reading all about my latest adventures on the playa with my friends.

Until then I’m sending dusty hugs from Bombshell!

Sliding naked down a hot slide

I struggle with my blog posts quite a bit.

Should I write truthfully, changing names to protect people’s identity?

Or should I only write a version of the truth, putting a spin on things so that no one gets cross at me?

It’s a tough tightrope to walk.

On the one hand, I want to capture events as close to reality as possible.

On the other hand, sometimes people don’t behave as well as they should as the results are. . . well. . . entertaining.

The other day I wrote a password protected post.

In it, I described being intimate with an [ahem] well-endowed man with very little foreplay.

You can imagine the results.

I cross my legs just thinking about it.

What I left out was that I probably instigated the sex prematurely when I handed my partner a bottle of lube.

Not for sex, but for lubrication.

I was damp from the hot tub and he was dry.

Touching him was like trying to slide naked down a hot slide.

It was sticky so I grabbed lube!

I left out other key details as well.

So although I didn’t lie, the truth wasn’t captured completely, and the blog post made my date sound like a real jerk when the reality was he really was only trying to make me happy.

Who’s the jerk now?

In any case, I’ve decided that since I will continue to blog, I need to be as accurate as possible.

But I also anticipate that I will get in trouble again.

People just want to censor you when you mention them.

Par for the course in blogging.

Honestly, writers should come with a warning:

But also?

This:

Truth

I’m reminded once again of how important it is to tell the truth.

And how easy it is to bend it.

I told a story, loosely based on an experience I had and although I told some of the truth, I left out key details that altered the tone of the story.

Big mistake!

Always tell the truth.

I will acknowledge that sometimes the truth is hard.

But didn’t Hemingway say, “Write hard and clear about what hurts”?

Well, I didn’t and it’s come back to bite me in the ass.

I’ve discovered I’m terrible at withholding information.

Information that changes the nature of my interactions.

I’m not clear whether it’s because I have a fear of confrontation or because I just don’t feel empowered to be open and honest.

Either way, I’m sitting here thinking about truth and honesty and how dangerous it is to skirt the slippery slope of non-fiction writing.

And although we’re almost halfway through this year, I’ve resolved to spend less time blogging what isn’t 100% true and more time blogging what is.

And of course, being more vocal about my own thoughts and feelings, in situ.

Because withheld information ALWAYS has a way of coming to the surface and it’s better to deliver the truth yourself than through a password-protected blog post.

Inner voice

I’ve been blogging on unblunder for about 15 years.

First on my own without a platform, then on this WordPress site.

When the blog began, I was in Law School and the blog existed to write about all the things I was going to do to walk the straight and narrow.

Then I dropped out of Law School.

And instead of recording all the PERFECT things I was doing to turn my life into EXACTLY what was expected of me, I started to record all the crazy, fun, and imperfect moments of my life.

The adventures – like racing stock cars, running with the bulls, and going to Burning Man.

If you’ve met me in person, you know I’m fairly quiet.

I tend to be reserved until I am comfortable with the people I am with.

It takes time for me to adjust and I’m not ashamed to say I can be a little shy.

I observe, like any good writer, and I catalog all the things I find amusing or sad.

Anything worthy of sharing gets typed into my phone for later use on the blog.

Once, I was asked by someone I BARELY knew to not write about her in my blog.

My inner voice said, “Just don’t do anything interesting.”

I obeyed, unless you count the fact that I’ve now blogged our conversation at least three times.

My point is, most everyone is a censor.

Of course, they don’t think of it that way, but it’s censorship plain and simple.

And yet I still manage to write about my life, my adventures, and my stories.

The other day, my girlfriend and I were sitting around having coffee on her back porch in the morning sun and she mentioned that I’m typically very quiet but she knows me better than that.

My inner voice is a comedienne.