How to recover from a broken heart

MichelleI know breakups are hard.  Lord knows I’ve gone through enough of them.  I’m going through one right now.  It’s never fun when you suddenly have to disentangle yourself from someone who you love/d.  Sometimes it’s like gently releasing your hold on someone and other times it’s like pulling  a tape worm out of your ass… the shit just keeps on coming.

Regardless, know that you can do it and make it out to the other side just fine.

There’s life after a breakup.

Here are my best tips for surviving and doing well after a breakup.

  1. Volunteer. Nothing makes your suffering seem less important than helping others in need. Find a soup kitchen. Volunteer at the library. Just get out and do something.
  2. Adventure out. Don’t just venture out, Adventure out. Pick something fun: white water rafting, racing cars, hot air balloon ride, etc. Nothing like a little adrenaline to heal your broken heart.
  3. Spend time with your family. I know it sounds trite, but no one loves you the way your family loves you. Take the parental units out to dinner. Have cocktails with your sibling. Make a phone call and chat with your cousin. They can help you mend.
  4. Distraction. I’m a firm believer in moving on as quickly as possible and that sometimes means starting to date even when you don’t feel quite ready. Nothing like another man to distract you from the one who broke your heart.
  5. Forgiveness. It’s so much better to forgive than to hold on to old resentments.
  6. Hugs. Get as many hugs as you need to feel better. A 20 second hug releases the hormone oxytocin which combats depression. Go get yourself squeezed.
  7. Self love. Nothing like a little self-care to make you feel better. Go get a hair cut. Take a spa day. Pamper yourself. Do something that makes you feel better.
  8. Exercise. Go for a bike ride or a hit the gym. Take some time to exercise. The endorphins you release will help you to feel better, plus it’s good for you.
  9. Go on a hike. Hiking provides you with exercise but also some quiet time to reflect and enjoy the scenery. Work through some of your tumescence in the quiet of the moist green forest.
  10. Journal. Start in a journal. Write down your thoughts and feelings and then read them to yourself. Do they make sense? Are they rubbish? Sort through the miscellaneous crap to find your truths.

Puke!

Well, I just ran into my ex boyfriend Earl.

I call him Earl but his name might be Luke, or Fred, or Chip.

All I know is that it is definitely a 4 letter word.

I ran into Earl at lunch in the GSB. He was walking into the cafeteria while I was sitting outside soaking up the sun.

I spotted him right after he spotted me and pretended to not see me.

Instantly all the things I wanted to say to him popped into my head.

“Are you happy?”

“Why did you cheat?”

“Why did you lie about it?”

“Are you satisfied with how you handled things?”

As much as I hate to admit it, I have resigned myself to the fact that this relationship, over all the others, gave me baggage.

Big, yucky, sucky, Technicolor baggage.

In large part, the baggage exists because I didn’t get a chance to get closure with Earl. One minute we were dating, the next we were uncoupled on Facebook and he refused to speak to me.

Talk about leaving loose ends….

So there we are at the GSB, pretending to ignore each other, and all I can think is how nice it would be to clear the air and put everything behind us.

That’s when I saw him sneaking out the other side of the building to avoid me.

Some things never change.

At least I’m not the one who is hiding.

The Guilt

Oh, if only you knew the guilt I feel over the text I sent.

How insensitive of me.

I’m kicking my ass six ways to Sunday.

I’ve since sent an apology but there’s been no response from him.  Probably because I’m a tool.

It’s just that if I’m going to hurt someone, I’d prefer to do it from the greatest possible distance because seeing it up close makes me want to give them what they want at whatever cost to me.

So that makes me a tool.

Ugh.