Burning Man Essentials: Accessories

 

LED hair accessories.  Fun and functional. Glow in the dark skeleton hands – fun and creepy!
Lightweight backpack for gear/water on the playa. Less lightweight but more stylish backpack if you’re inclined to go that way.
FAUX FUR fox tail.  Cheeky! Lightweight parasol.  To protect you from the blazing hot sun.
Tribal necklace.  Instant outfit. Furry leg warmers.  Very cute for playa bunnies.
Furry RAINBOW leg warmers.  Hardcore! Fishnet gloves.  Easy accessory.
Long fishnet gloves.  Perfect with almost anything. Shoulder holster.  Looks great on men and women.
Leather utility belt.  You need space to stash your stuff. Holographic/iridescent fanny pack.  For the ladies.
Men’s tactical fanny pack. Pasties.  Enough said.
Festival hat (this one is mine). Burning Man hat.  Can’t believe you can buy this on Amazon!
Steampunk hat.  Stylish on men and women! Cyber locks.  For when you’re having a bad hair day.
Dread falls.  Like cyber locks but with yarn. Keychain/pendant.  Can’t believe you can buy this on etsy!
Men’s harness. Edgy! Women’s harness.  Perfect peeking out under a tank top or over a bikini.
White wige – to save you from a bad hair day. Ombre wig.  Complete your outfit with a colorful wig!
Antlers.  Doh! Iconic Burning Man look on Pinterest.  Buy the top on etsy here.
See iconic Burning Man look., above  Get tribal necklace. Pixel boa.  Because sometimes a light up jacket is just too hot!

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Burning Man Essentials: Dust Masks

Dust masks are essential at Burning Man. During my first burn in 2015, there were so many dust storms I LIVED in my dust mask. It sucks to get caught in a dust storm with no mask so I’m a big believer in not only wearing one, but also bringing extra – at least one backup PLUS the disposable kind, JUST IN CASE. If you’re with a friend who forgot theirs, they will be SO THANKFUL!

I like RZ Masks. They come in a variety of sizes (for those of us with big or small heads) and they ship with extra filters.

If you’re not used to dust masks, be aware they can feel a little stuffy. I like to use doTERRA’s Breathe essential oil blend. A little mist of this inside my mask helps me to breathe deeply and avoid that feeling of suffocation.

There are also other types of masks besides RZ neoprene masks and they are usually more artistic and expressive. These are masks I like to use in a light dust storm, like when I’m riding my bike in a crowd, or when there are low winds on the playa. They have the feel of a lightweight bandana. Wear them around your neck and they’re easy to pull on or push down. They’re also very versatile and can be worn as a headband, hairband, balaclava, and more.

Another type of popular mask is the shemagh, which is more like a scarf than a traditional mask. These are usually worn as a head scarf/mask combination on the playa and even though I have a purple one, I seldom use it on account of I’m not good at figuring out how to tie it properly so it stays in place. But here is a link to a video that seems to give good instructions on how to tie a shemagh.

Of course, there are some decadent masks that look so lovely but which may have questionable efficacy when it comes to blocking out dust. Can’t say I’ve ever worn a kandi mask or a gas mask but here are some lovely samples:

 

And don’t forget your SUPER BLING. These may break your bank but you’ll look good wearing them.

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Burning Man Essentials: Eyewear

Little Orphan Annie may think you’re never fully dressed without a smile, but she’s never been to the playa. What you really need on the playa are a good pair (or pairs) of sunglasses and goggles.

When it comes to goggles, the most important thing is that they seal to your face so that NO DUST CAN GET IN.

You also need TWO PAIRS of goggles – one for day which is tinted and one for night which is clear.

When it comes to sunglasses, the most important thing is style.

For my first burn, I bought a pair of cat eye sunglasses which sealed around my face HORRIBLY. Tejas read me a riot act and I had to go to the hardware store to buy a roll of thin window sealant foam which I used to build up the seal around my face until it was secure. Don’t be like me. Get a pair of good sealing goggles.  I wear ski goggle now.

I went on a shopping spree at zeroUV and bought a ton of cool sunglasses. Cheap, fashionable, disposable (off playa = no MOOP), so I’m including them with my lineup.

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Playa gifts

One of the ten principles of Burning Man is gifting.

ANYONE who knows ANYTHING about me knows that I LOVE to give gifts.

So this is right up my alley.

In 2015, I gifted SPF 30 organic mint chapstick.

In 2016, I gifted colorful necklaces I made out of metal washer with an epoxy coating.

This year, I’m giving away something I ordered and had laser engraved with the Burning Man logo. . .

. . .a credit card sized bottle opener.

It just struck me as being something VERY USEFUL and clever.

I ordered ball chain necklaces so I can give them away to people to wear, if they’d like to.

The only thing I hadn’t counted on?

How fricking HEAVY 100 of these puppies would be to bring to Burning Man with me.

I swear, the box weighs 20 pounds!

Fortunes

I have a theory about fortune cookies.

If you get a fortune you don’t care for, just leave it on the table and the fortune goes away.

But if you get a fortune you like, you have to keep it on your person and it will come true.

At any given time, you can find a half dozen or so fortunes stuffed in my wallet.

The other day, I got THIS fortune with my Panda Express order:

A long awaited vacation?

A great deal of pleasure?

Am I going to Sweden?

Cuz that way pleasure lies.

Oh, how I miss my Swede.

Then again, maybe it’s referring to Burning Man.

When I think of all the things I want to do at Burning Man, I get warm and fuzzy feelings inside.

My cuddle puddle.

The foam bath dance party.

Human Carcass Wash.

Saunadome.

Given the fact that I’ve been abstinent since unSCruz in May, I LOVE the idea of having a “great” deal of pleasure coming my way.

It just remains to be seen which form that pleasure comes in.

But overall, this fortune?

It’s a keeper.

Ecstasy

There are many drugs (pretty much all of them) that I’ve never tried.

I got the “Don’t Do Drugs” message early on in life.

I watched my sister’s friend Stefan suck up nitrous oxide from WhipIts into his lungs and his lips turned a greyish black, his eyes rolled back in his head and he laid back on the couch with his paunchy belly peeking out from under his dirty t-shirt. He made the entire process look so unappealing my response was “No fucking way” when they were offered to me.

Plus, and this is a BIG plus, I was always very satisfied with using alcohol to occasionally alter my reality.

Now that I’ve gone to Burning Man, I’ve been exposed to more people taking more drugs.

And I must say, occasionally I see the appeal.

Among the many drugs I’ve never taken is ecstasy.

It strikes me that a drug which makes you feel connected to other people and heightens your sensations sounds like an ok drug to me.

Of course, given that my brain is already suffering from an imbalance, I doubt I will ever actually try ecstasy.

But I’ll tell you this:

I sure as hell wouldn’t mind being in the bottom of a puppy pile of people on E.

Sounds pretty fucking fabulous to me.

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Sad news here

Sad news here.

The Swede will NOT be going to Burning Man with me.

Not only does he have to go to Vegas for work (poor boy), he’s got to get back home early for a commitment.

Normally, I’d be crushed.

But since I knew all along that him coming to Burning Man was a LONGSHOT, I didn’t get my hopes up too high.

However, I was fantasizing about taking my own “Burning Man virgin” to Burning Man.

What would that BE like?

We’d have to take a sauna at Saunadome AND see their electric space car.

Lay under The Firmament.

We’d get naked and washed by many people at The Human Carcass Wash.

And of course, we’d have to go by Barbie Death camp for massages.

There’d also be Transfoamation – where we’d get naked (again) and dance in foam with other burners.

Being a beer fan, I’d have to take him to Home Brew Camp for beers.

Then there are trips into the deep playa on an art car which are a must.

And this year, there’s the Symphonic Ballet “Rite of Spring” that I want to see.

Not to mention visiting The Man and The Temple and watching them burn, burn, burn to the ground.

I also imagine ALL THE SEX I’d get and if you ask me, I am most disappointed that I will not be saddle sore by the time Burning Man ends.

Because I find Burning Man very stimulating and it would be SO NICE TO HAVE A LOVER.

Nevertheless, I will have a grand time, I am sure, even without The Swede.

There’s too much to see and to do.

Too many friends to visit and have fun with,

too much booze to drink,

too much music to dance to,

too many lights to enjoy,

too much of everything to feel lonely.

You’re not alone, sister!

Almost 2 years ago I participated in Burning Man for the first time.

As is my usual habit, I spent A LOT of time planning and prepping.

I carefully reviewed every Burning Man Essentials list and incorporated all the items I was missing into my growing inventory.

In the end, I had 16 bins full of gear.

I may have gone overboard, but let me tell you, I was PREPARED.

Sunblock for my hair?

Check.

Essentials oils for my face mask?

Check.

Ridiculous now to think about them, but at the time I thought they were ESSENTIAL.

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time looking online for fashion guidance.

Self expression is BIG at Burning Man.

I was totally disappointed to find that 99.9% of the representations of women at Burning Man include slim women only.

Where are my thick girls? My curvy ladies?

I could find no representation of women on the playa for women OVER A SIZE 12.

What up?!

I began to wonder if I’d be the only thick girl on the playa.

Of course, that turned out to not be the case, but it still bothers me to this day that the diversity that exists on the playa is not captured by playa photographers.

And, of course, I had to remedy the situation not just by posting my playa photos on the internet, but also by creating a Pinterest board with fashion inspiration for the curvy lady planning to go to the playa.

You’re not alone, sister!

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Me and Murphy’s Law

What do you think about The Swede coming to Burning Man?

O. M. G.

Right?

I’m beside myself with excitement and trepidation!

First of all, I get excited at the prospect of any of my friends going to Burning Man with me. I love the burn and I love sharing the experience with others.

Secondly, I’ve never had a partner go with me to Burning Man and hang out with me. So this would be something new.

And lastly. . . hello. . . SEX!

Who doesn’t want a tidal wave of that on the playa?

I know I do and last year there was a D R O U G H T.

But. . .

You know I’m a planner and ALL MY PLANS WOULD BASICALLY BE TOSSED OUT THE WINDOW.

I’d have to start all over from scratch (including bringing MORE condoms).

LOL

The food and beverages.

The sleeping arrangements.

The interactivity.

You know how I like to STICK TO THE PLAN.

In addition to changing plans, there’s another concern.

Burning Man is like a hot cauldron for relationships.

If you’re not strong, you won’t survive.

And The Swede and I have just a wee baby relationship.

Dare I put it to the test THIS EARLY ON?

Ultimately, I think The Swede will not go to Burning Man because I want him to go and Murphy’s Law dictates that I won’t get what I want.

But I LOVE knowing that he does actually want to go.

And who knows, maybe Murphy’s Law will fail.

Finger crossed!

It’s Burning Man

Burning Man is fast approaching.

This year I’m staying in Tejas’ RV, just like last year.

But this year there’s a TWIST.

Yvonne (Tejas’ ex-girlfriend) is coming with us.

O. M. G.

I know, I know.

It sound CRAZY but let me tell you, the two of them actually get along quite well and I think that it’ll all work out just fine.

We’re bringing Pete, my 10’ x 14’ tent just in case someone (Yvonne) needs private space.

It’s a lot to ask three people to share the same 180 square feet of space for A WEEK.

It’s certainly going to be an adventure.

Given the history between Tejas and Yvonne, I have to ask myself, am I prepared if they decide to couple up for Burning Man?

The answer is YES!

First of all, I adore them as a couple.

I love them both.

Second of all, I’m really comfortable being the third wheel.

Seeing as how ALL MY FRIENDS are coupled up, I frequently am the “third wheel” so it’s no big deal for me.

What are we going to do about privacy?

Give it to each other, as much as we can.

Of course, it is Burning Man.

There’s a certain amount of nudity that’s PAR FOR THE COURSE.

I anticipate that we’ll all see each other naked, in one way or another.

Tejas needs help getting into his kilts.

I need help getting into my corsets.

And I fully intend to wear the SKIMPIEST LITTLE NIGHTGOWNS TO BED TO BEAT THE HEAT.

Lord only knows what Yvonne’s going to do but if history repeats itself, she’ll have trouble keeping her clothes on.

What the hell. . .

. . .it’s BURNING MAN!