Anti Valentine’s Day 2018

Ok, so every year around Valentine’s Day I post links to etsy Anti-Valentine’s Day gift ideas and this year will be no different.

Fuck Valentine’s Day banner – I blog my hatred of Valentine’s Day, you can hang a banner.

Ah ha ha ha – perfect card for me to send to my sister, or for my sister to send to me.

Anti-Valentine’s Day cookies – for my snarky 16 year old to pass out to his friends.

Love is in the Air tank top – better stop breathing!

An Anti-Valentines’ Day mug – about as romantic as I could get for this fucking disaster of a holiday.

Oh yes, the CLASSIC “Cupid rhymes with stupid” tee – so you can broadcast what you really feel.

Fuck off necklace – don’t you just love the profanity of it? You can’t say it doesn’t send a message.

Ah, well I love tasteless cards, and this is one of them.

Another card I’d like to send to my ex.

Pins for Single Awareness Day – don’t be afraid to show the world what you think.

The best part of Valentine’s Day? An excuse to drink excessively and drown your frustrations.

And last, a bandana which I would put on my dog if I had one but oh yeah, she died and now not even my dog is there to love me. Tears!

What I love about Valentine’s Day

I don’t 100% HATE Valentine’s Day.

Although I should.

There’s something about a day where you can tell people you love them that just tugs at my heart strings.

After all, I have two teenage boys whom I adore to pieces.

Always my babies.

And since they’re usually adverse to me hugging, kissing, and snuggling them, Valentine’s Day is a good day to GUILT TRIP them into letting me do it.

This year, I got them each a funny card:

And since Duncan’s hobby is gaming, I got him THIS shirt:

Which I think he has more than enough attitude to wear when he’s out and about.

Gavin, on the other hand, is the daddy to two parakeets – Ross and Smokey.

They are his pride and joy, to say the least.

So I got him this colorful parakeet tee shirt, which I think he will like.

As much effort as I put into training the boys to remember to get me cards or presents on holidays, I think that I will be forgotten this year.

I’m not expecting to get anything from them. . .

. . .unless I HOUND them.

And that’s a possibility since I’m doing a piss poor job of teaching them to remember their loved ones on special occasions.

Don’t Hate

I know it’s crazy to say this so early in the season.

It’s not even Thanksgiving yet.

But I’ve managed to complete all my Christmas shopping ALREADY.

Can I tell you how satisfied it makes me feel to have all my shopping done?

REALLY SATISFIED.

Like in ways that make me happy ALL THE WAY DOWN TO MY BONES.

I’m insane like this.

The instant my birthday passes, I’m buying up gifts and presents for my loved ones.

I LOVE GIFTING!

It’s my favorite part of the whole holiday (besides the Christmas music).

There is nothing better than seeing the look on my sons’ faces when they open a gift and get all excited.

I know it’s obnoxious of me to be this thrilled with the holidays, but I can’t help myself.

It’s like I’m high and won’t come down until after New Year’s.

Did I mention I also get two weeks off at work for the holidays?

Yup.

Two whole weeks of freedom, sleeping in, and socializing!

If I’ve annoyed you with this post, don’t worry. I do have a confession to make:

Although I’ve bought my Christmas and Hanukkah cards, I don’t have them ready to mail yet.

Gasp!

I know. But nothing says “I’m insane” like sending out your holiday cards BEFORE Thanksgiving, right?

If I could get away with it, you can be sure I would do it.

So have a lovely holiday season.

I hope you’re enjoying it at least half as much as I am!

The opposite of S.A.D.

Just so you know, this is my FAVORITE time of year – the days between Halloween and New Year’s.

I do not suffer from seasonal affect disorder, needless to say.

Actually, it’s quite the opposite.

Once, I fell in love with a man during the holiday season (and he was a holiday aficionado too) and to this day, there is a special place in my heart for him because it was JUST SO DAMN PERFECT.

Holiday music?

Bring it on!

Holiday party?

Where do I schmooze?

Holiday presents?

Yes, please, I love to give and receive.

It’s ALMOST annoying how much I like the holidays.

In case you didn’t ALREADY guess, I designed my Christmas card way back in July and it’s been sitting in my Shutterfly shopping cart, just waiting for a good discount.

Back when I had my own house, I’d decorate three trees – one in the front yard for the neighbors, one in the window, which was my designer tree to be viewed by everyone driving or walking by, and one in the kitchen which had all the kids ornaments on it.

THEN. . .I’d decorate the three arches in my entryway with fir swags and flowers.

OMG.

I’m getting so excited just THINKING about all this.

That’s how sick in the head I am.

If you have seasonal affective disorder, stay away from this blog until after January.

It’s bound to drive you absolutely BONKERS!