A few funnies to tickle your funny bone this Christmas:
Christmas is coming and I am already 110% ahead of the game.
My Christmas cards have been mailed.
My shopping is done.
Even my wrapping is complete.
I’ve annoyed even myself with my efficiency.
Personally, I am thrilled at the selection of gifts I have bought for my friends and family.
None more so than The Swede.
First, I bought him an industrial size box of Swedish Fish.
As a joke, naturally.
Then I proceeded to BREAK INTO the box and ate a bunch of fish so I had to get him something else.
And please, dear Swede, if you are reading this, stop now or your surprise will be RUINED.
[scroll down for more]
I custom made a tee shirt for The Swede.
Yes. I. Did.
Because I could find a tee shirt that said “Eat, Sleep Hockey” in English, but not in Swedish.
And I figure WHY BUY IT IN ENGLISH if he’s going to be in Sweden wearing it?
It should be in Swedish.
So I translated “Eat, Sleep Hockey” into Swedish “Äta, Sova, Hockey.”
Then I printed it in YELLOW lettering on a ROYAL BLUE tee shirt – the colors of Sweden.
How’s that for a present for you?
I REALLY hope he likes it!
You can’t say I didn’t make an effort. . .
P.S. I got him a SECOND gift. Just because I do that sometimes. Check out this awesome mug I had custom made for him:
Just so you know, this is my FAVORITE time of year – the days between Halloween and New Year’s.
I do not suffer from seasonal affect disorder, needless to say.
Actually, it’s quite the opposite.
Once, I fell in love with a man during the holiday season (and he was a holiday aficionado too) and to this day, there is a special place in my heart for him because it was JUST SO DAMN PERFECT.
Bring it on!
Where do I schmooze?
Yes, please, I love to give and receive.
It’s ALMOST annoying how much I like the holidays.
In case you didn’t ALREADY guess, I designed my Christmas card way back in July and it’s been sitting in my Shutterfly shopping cart, just waiting for a good discount.
Back when I had my own house, I’d decorate three trees – one in the front yard for the neighbors, one in the window, which was my designer tree to be viewed by everyone driving or walking by, and one in the kitchen which had all the kids ornaments on it.
THEN. . .I’d decorate the three arches in my entryway with fir swags and flowers.
I’m getting so excited just THINKING about all this.
That’s how sick in the head I am.
If you have seasonal affective disorder, stay away from this blog until after January.
It’s bound to drive you absolutely BONKERS!
I’m working on another costume because why not?
This one is for all the Santa Con Pub Crawls that are coming up.
I’d like to go dressed as a Steampunk Christmas cutie.
So I went ahead and did a mock up of what I thought MIGHT work.
He actually referred to one of my selected tops as “too Ellie May.”
Then he quickly told me I could totally pull of Ellie May. [Incidentally, if you google “Ellie May” to get an image for your blog, be aware that lots and LOTS of porn will pop up.]
This is why Tejas drives me crazy.
[But he was right].
So today I whipped up a new Steampunk Christmas costume.
One which I think is BETTER THAN THE FIRST.
Also, it incorporates a hat and skirt that I already have in my closet.