Sometimes I say the STRANGEST things

As it happens, online shopping may be a more EFFICIENT way of shopping, but it certainly leads to more debacles.

Case in point, my BROWN LATEX DRESS purchase.

And now, my burgundy mandala kimono purchase.

It arrived in the mail, after being sent all the way from China, I suspect.

I intended for it to be the feature item in this outfit for the burn:

However upon inspection, it was less BURGUNDY and more ORANGE.

And not like a sunset orange, more like a MECONIUM orange.

For those of you who don’t know, meconium is the substance that comes out of a baby when it takes its first poop. When this happens in utero, it stains the baby orange.

Not pretty.

So now I have a meconium orange stained mandala kimono to wear to the burn.

Not!

So I scrambled online (again).

Because I NEVER learn my lesson.

I used ShopStyle, a sort of warehouse for mainstream online fashion shopping, and found two kimonos which I felt would replace the orange one quite nicely.

Much better, no?

But I’ll tell you this:

I had to sort through a lot of yucky and boring looking kimonos in order to find what I was looking for.

And (lucky for me) I also found a nice pink kimono/robe to go with my Pink Burner Bunny outfit.

Because it might get cold in Sacramento for the Pagan Bunny Burn and if so, I will be appreciative of having another layer to keep me warm over my tutu and corset.

You probably don’t know this, since you don’t wear a tutu with a corset unless you’re a ballerina (or a burner) but they’re actually NOT THAT WARM!

Sometimes, I say the STRANGEST things. . .

Does anyone look good in a poncho?

I’ve been eyeballing ponchos on the internet lately.

They look so cozy and warm and with the change in the weather here in California (it’s dropped below 60 degrees!), there’s been a chill in the air I’ve had to fight off.

Of course, the models on Pinterest all look very sexy in their oversized, bulky ponchos.

poncho1Despite the fact that they are wearing a blanket for a top, they manage to look svelte and slim.

Probably because they have a nice pair of twiggy legs sticking out from under the poncho.

Now, although I am tall, I do not have a pair of twiggy legs to go with my poncho.

I have thick thighs.

The risk factor for me looking like a woman wearing a Christmas tree skirt for a sweater is HIGH!

DESPITE the fact that I KNEW wearing a blanket for a shirt would probably make me look like Jabba the Hut, I went ahead and bought one.

screen-shot-2016-11-28-at-11-53-22-amI’ve decided WHO THE HELL CARES?!

I wear what I want to wear, thick thighs and all.

Maybe my poncho will make me look like an apple with tree trunks for legs, but I’ll tell you something. . .

That apple is going to be nice and toasty warm.

So there!

poncho2

There’s no such thing as underwear in BRC

There’s no such thing as underwear in BRC.

At least, I’m assuming this, given the fact that pretty much every outfit I’ve seen that even remotely qualifies as clothing is tight, has a slit up the side, or is so short the world could be your gynecologist.

And it’s hot there in the Nevada desert. Who wants an extra layer of clothing?

I, for one, want to wear a pair. Just to keep the moisture where it belongs, you know.

My prediction, for myself, is that I will start out the week in my lovely Green Faerie costume, but that as the week goes by I will become more and more casual [read: more and more undressed].

It takes me a while to get accustomed to new surroundings. I’m guessing my modesty will last halfway into day 2 or whenever I get so frigging hot that clothes become a nuisance. Whichever come first.

And so, in order to accommodate my increasing nakedness and decreasing modesty, I am bringing a bathing suit with me. Just ‘cuz I might need to walk around in it.

And also, some funny hot pants, because I still have a great ass that deserves to be shown off in some smart assy way.

There may be no such thing as underwear in BRC but I’m not prepared to go Full Monty on the playa.