Ecstasy

There are many drugs (pretty much all of them) that I’ve never tried.

I got the “Don’t Do Drugs” message early on in life.

I watched my sister’s friend Stefan suck up nitrous oxide from WhipIts into his lungs and his lips turned a greyish black, his eyes rolled back in his head and he laid back on the couch with his paunchy belly peeking out from under his dirty t-shirt. He made the entire process look so unappealing my response was “No fucking way” when they were offered to me.

Plus, and this is a BIG plus, I was always very satisfied with using alcohol to occasionally alter my reality.

Now that I’ve gone to Burning Man, I’ve been exposed to more people taking more drugs.

And I must say, occasionally I see the appeal.

Among the many drugs I’ve never taken is ecstasy.

It strikes me that a drug which makes you feel connected to other people and heightens your sensations sounds like an ok drug to me.

Of course, given that my brain is already suffering from an imbalance, I doubt I will ever actually try ecstasy.

But I’ll tell you this:

I sure as hell wouldn’t mind being in the bottom of a puppy pile of people on E.

Sounds pretty fucking fabulous to me.

Save

Mr. 6’10”

I once dated a guy who was 6’10” tall.

Everywhere we went, people reacted to him. So much so that he developed two jokes he’d use all the time to answer two common questions people would ask him:

  1. Is it true what they say about a man’s height and the size of his penis?

Answer: God no! I’d be 10 feet tall.

  1. Do you play basketball?

Answer: Do you play mini golf?

The truth is, Mr. 6’10” was a volleyball player, and a good one at that.  I’m not sure he did any more than that, he seemed to be independently wealthy and I knew his family hailed from Pebble Beach.

I was smitten with this man and imagined he was smitten with me too.

In the end, that turned out to not be the case and we drifted apart and lost touch.

The other day, I’m minding my own business when an email comes in to my inbox.

Mr. 6’10” tall wants to add you as a connection on LinkedIn.

What?!

Naturally I added him.

But I can’t help but feel like I got lumped in with a group add on LinkedIn. I’m pretty sure he didn’t intend to add me as a contact.

Nevertheless he did it, so I can just go ahead and feel slightly smug that after nearly 10 years, he reconnected with me.

Deliberate or accidental.

Save

Coffee dates SUCK!!!

Dating sucks.

I have never been on a coffee date that went well.

It’s as if investing only $2 in your first meeting somehow destines it for failure.

What can you learn about someone in a 30 minute conversation that’s going to drive you wild for them?

Nothing.

At best, it’s a polite conversation about things that don’t matter.

At worst, it’s an awkward conversation about things that don’t matter.

It’s a waste of everyone’s time.

I personally prefer to share a meal with someone. To share a drink and perhaps get relaxed enough to get the real conversation flowing.

My $1000 date was fantastic.

Not because my date spent $1000 or because the $500 bottle of wine made me want to cry tears of joy.

No, it was because I had a connection with my date. We were both relaxed and the conversation flowed freely.

But a coffee date? Who falls in love over their Starbucks?

I suppose this is just a rant about not having the opportunity to connect with anyone on a meaningful level and blaming the coffee date for the lack of connection.

The truth is people do fall in love over lattes.

Just not this woman.

Coffee dates SUCK

Dating sucks.

I have never been on a coffee date that went well.

It’s as if investing only $2 in your first meeting somehow destines it for failure.

What can you learn about someone in a 30 minute conversation that’s going to drive you wild for them?

Nothing.

At best, it’s a polite conversation about things that don’t matter.

At worst, it’s an awkward conversation about things that don’t matter.

It’s a waste of everyone’s time.

I personally prefer to share a meal with someone. To share a drink and perhaps get relaxed enough to get the real conversation flowing.

My $1000 date was fantastic.

Not because my date spent $1000 or because the $500 bottle of wine made me want to cry tears of joy.

No, it was because I had a connection with my date. We were both relaxed and the conversation flowed freely.

But a coffee date? Who falls in love over their Starbucks?

I suppose this is just a rant about not having the opportunity to connect with anyone on a meaningful level and blaming the coffee date for the lack of connection.

The truth is people do fall in love over lattes.

Just not this woman.

I love Tinder

I love Tinder.

Had a bad date?

Another man is just a swipe away.

Looking for someone to sext?

Another man is just a swipe away.

Want to get your flirt on?

Another man is just a swipe away.

Honestly.

It’s so easy.

It’s like Google Express for men.

IMG_9670

It’s crazy how easy it is to get a date.

Of course, the trick is GETTING A SECOND DATE!

That almost never happens.

But so far, I’ve met some pretty interesting guys through Tinder.

One of whom I’m still in touch with.

It does occur to me that this is what’s wrong with the online dating scene these days: It’s so easy to land another date we invest in no one.

AND IT’S SO HARD TO CONNECT WITH ANYONE.

But here’s my theory.

I connect with no one because I just haven’t met the right person yet. When I finally meet him, we’ll click and that elusive connection will suddenly materialize.

So I’m pretty chill about meeting men.

Easy come, easy go.

Cuddle Puddle

cuddleI’m pretty sure my first experience in a cuddle puddle was at a HAI Level 1 retreat at Harbin Hot Springs.

There was a break in the activity and some of us opted to lay down on a pile of pillows.

Snuggling and cuddling just happened.

Try to imagine prickly, stuffy old me being invited into a cuddle puddle with a bunch of relaxed, down-to-earth people.

But I’ll try anything and so I did.

I laid down with virtual strangers and gave myself over to the experience.

And it was amazing.

Now I know it’s hard to picture me enjoying snuggling.

Everyone knows I’m an action girl and I scoff at snuggling (at least until after the main event).

But this appealed to me.

The smiling. The hand holding. The gentle touches. The bodies cuddled up to mine.

I was relaxed and enjoying myself.

Fast forward eight years and I’m at SoulFire in a cuddle puddle with two women and a man.

Same result.

Relaxing, snuggling, cuddling, soft sensation.

It was all too brief but satisfying.

So here I am looking at my inbox today and there’s a new invitation to a Santa Clara cuddle puddle.

Do I want to go?

Hell yes.

Then what’s stopping me?

Probably the fear that it won’t be my scene. That I won’t feel a connection to any of the people there.

Maybe I’m a little bit afraid of the person I might become if I finally let my hunger for intimacy out into the open without the post-coital justification there to mitigate it.

Maybe I’ll have to admit there’s more to intimacy than just sex.

And that I am woefully BAD AT IT.

Maybe…

 

I went to a swingers meet-and-greet and got serviced by 9 guys…

I arrived at the Swingers Meet-and-Greet 30 minutes early.  So I sat in my car reading a book and watching couples arrive.

Every single couple that entered the venue was holding hands.

Every. Single. One.

I found that very sweet and perhaps an indication of the connection between couples that swing.

I joined the festivities and walked into the bar only to discover some long lost friends of mine. Oh so sweet to see them. It was nice to not be alone at the Meet-and-Greet.  But it was also easy to make friends.

Everyone was open, social, and friendly. People kissed hello.  On the lips. I can’t tell you how much I love to kiss hello on the lips.  If everyone kissed me on the lips, I’d be a happy girl.

Topics of discussion ranged from jobs to special bedroom talents.  One woman joked that she was going to take out pussy insurance on her pussy because she was sure she was going to have it break at the next play party. Another woman wore a sundress with a leather collar.  She looked like a school teacher, except for that collar.  Nice touch.

Self-expression was rampant at the party.  People really came as they were and I must say I haven’t encountered a more authentic group of people than these.

I spotted my ex-lover Matthew in the crowd.  At the bar.  Looking sexy and handsome, as always.  Charming the ladies, as always. He loved my outfit and kept dusting my top and toying with my under boob. Yes, my underboob. He declared my underboob was very sexy because it meant I had so much boob there were leftovers. I hung out with him for a while and we met another couple.  The man kissed me on the lips goodbye and gave me their card.

At some point in the evening, I hooked up with Charles.  Charles was handsome, smart, funny, and thoughtful.  I like the way his mind worked. At one point we were counting little black dresses at the venue and I made  bet with him that one woman’s dress was black.  He said it was purple.  The prizes?  If I won he had to help me get my my truck out of the gravel.  If he won, we had to make out. I lost.  But so did he.  The dress was blue.

I mentioned to my friend Jill that I’d lost this bet and she told me, “Oh Michelle, you didn’t lose.  You just won.” Charles and I snuck off to a secluded canopy so I could forfeit my losings. Jill was right.  I’d lost nothing.  In fact, I’d just won the lottery. His lips were soft and full and so very tempting.  They made me think of other sensual activities I’d like to see them doing. Heart rate speeds up. At one point Charles told me my debt was paid but I just kept on kissing him.  Those lips.  That face.  That killer body.

I spent the rest of the party hanging out with Charles and other couples.  I collected a few cards.  It was all very new and exciting. to say the least. One woman raved about the things her boyfriend could do with his hands.  Another put my hand directly on her husband’s chest and said, “That’s not the only place he’s rock hard…”

Everyone was playful and having a good time.  People were open-minded and friendly.  All in all. I had a very fun, playful evening.  I was surprised by how loving and connected the couples were with each other.  And I was impressed with the cool, laid-back vibe for the evening.

Oh, and since I got my truck stuck in the gravel, it took 9 handsome men to push it out.  I think I should get stuck more often 🙂