Underthings

It’s a universal dilemma for women, I think.

You can wear granny panties that SUCK YOU IN (they’re called Spanx) and give you a smooth silhouette, or you can wear sexy lingerie which lets all the lumps and bumps show.

If you desire to wear sexy lingerie AND have a SMOOTH silhouette, you encounter a Catch 22.

The desired outcome is impossible to attain because of contradictory rules and conditions.

Now.

I have (on occasion) worn my SPANX under my clothes to parties and on dates in order to look sleek and smooth.

Those scary looking girdles really hold you in!

Then, when I’m going to “get busy” I go to the bathroom and CHANGE into my sexy underwear.

Something black and lacy, perhaps?

Or vibrant red and trimmed with velvet?

Of course, I always wonder if my date can tell that something is different.

All of a sudden I have a tummy.

Or my hips have love handles.

What’s up with that, he might think?

No one has ever said anything to me, so I suspect I’ve managed to SLIP IT UNDER THEIR RADAR.

But now I’ve bought an under-the-bust corset to even further the charade that I’m shaped like the perfect hourglass.

I imagine I’ll get totally screwed when it comes to getting naked, however.

No pun intended, but it’s virtually impossible to get out of a corset without help.

But it could work to my advantage seeing as how a woman in nothing but an under-the-bust corset is actually pretty damn sexy.

Think voluptuous breasts and an ample rear end.

I’m quite sure I could get this to work for me.

Cupid

So I’m putting together a Cupid Costume for the Cupid (Bar) Crawl.

It goes a little something like this:

Gorgeous red corset:

vday-1

Matching red tutu:

vday-2

Red fairy wings, as if there’s not enough red already:

vday-6

Red LED heart earring.  Because who doesn’t love things that light up?

vday-5

A bow and arrow, because love comes with weapons, no doubt:

vday-7

My favorite piece of the WHOLE outfit… the heart shaped fascinator:

vday-4

Red glowbys for hair and tutu:

vday-9

A little heart-covered baggie to hold all my goodies I plan to give away:

vday-3

And the gift I’ll be giving away…

vday-8

You didn’t think I was going to tell you what it is, did you?  Not!

 

Another day, another costume

I’m doing research for another costume.

That’s right…. This one requires research, and a lot of creativity and patience.

I’m working on a Steampunk costume.

Nearest I can tell, Steampunk is a little bit 18th and 19th century Victorian with a little bit of the Wild West thrown in.

So this is what I’ve assembled so far…

An ivory Victorian style blouse.

FullSizeRender(3)A black bustle skirt (like the one shown in red, here).

IMG_8266A brown/black under-the-bust corset.

FullSizeRender(2)Victorian style pointy toe shoes.

Screen Shot 2015-11-09 at 9.42.56 AM

I went looking for a hat but all the hats I likes were upwards of $300 to buy. This is the one I fell in lust with.

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 1.23.09 PM

So I decided my next project will be to build a hat for my outfit and I started by getting THIS coachman’s topper hat.

vhatI’ve heard it can be very challenging to build a steampunk hat and judging from the cost of millinary supplies, I might wind up spending more than $300 just producing the hat.

So wish me luck! I’m going to need it!

WHAT was I THINKING!?

In retrospect, buying a groupon for a boudoir photography session might not have been my brightest idea.

Exhibit A: The groupon may have only cost $59 but hair by Erin and makeup by Kimberly will run a cool $200. Well worth it, but note…

Exhibit B: What happens when a lingerie addict (think 8 drawers, not including costumes or the “naughty” outfits) gets an excuse to buy new lingerie? SHE BUYS NEW LINGERIE!

That’s right, I just bought 14 new outfits. I’m not even sure I’m wearing them all but I want to have some backups.

So here’s your chance to vote for what I wear at my lingerie fashion show… I mean boudoir photo shoot. Pick as many as you like. Scroll down for poll.

49ers outfit

49ers outfit

Men's shirt outfit

Men’s shirt outfit

Turquoise babydoll #1

Turquoise babydoll #1

Turquoise babydoll #2

Turquoise babydoll #2

Black lace teddy

Black lace teddy

image

Black vinyl triangle bikini

Red bustier

Red bustier

Black chemise

Black chemise

Scary black vinyl merrywidow

Scary black vinyl merrywidow

Pink chemise

Pink chemise

Black ruffle teddy

Black ruffle teddy

Melon lingerie set

Melon lingerie set

Red babydoll

Red babydoll

Black leather corset and skirt

Black leather corset and skirt

And add to the cost of this escapade, the cost of hosiery, jewelry, and shoes… because a girl has got to be properly accessorize when taking her clothes off.  I’m talking thigh highs, fishnet stockings, pearls, jewels, and come-eff-me heels.

Ahhhh…. this “little” adventure is going to cost a mint! Hope I love the results!