Midas Touch

I’m seriously bummed that Burning Man 2018 is over.

What will I do with my time now that I don’t need to plan how to survive in an inhospitable alpine desert environment for a week?

Plan more costumes, of course!

I’ve been thinking it’s time to put together a GOLD outfit.

Something very monochromatic with gold EVERYTHING!

I’ll be a dancing queen.

Here’s what I’ve dug up so far:

I LOVE the idea of combining the winged headdress with actual wings on your shoulders, though in practice I might leave this feature out since walking around in wings is really annoying.

You bump into everyone.

I guess you could say that since Burning Man 2018 is complete, I’m back to the drawing board as far as costumes go.

Time to design some more.

For sure I’m going to base them on bathing suits, since swimsuits are compact as well as fashionable.

What do you think of my Midas Touch costume?

 

Here are the links, if you’re interested:

Choker | Bathing suit | Earrings | Boots | Headdress | Goggles | Pants | Wings

Sweatsuit

At the latest Village meeting for Burning Man, the theme was Super heroes and Super Villains.

After contemplating several options, including quite a few Marvel villains, I decided to go with Natasha Romanoff (aka Black Widow).

The thing about the costume is that it JUST BARELY FIT.

Which means I was struggling to get into it.

AND I was struggling even harder to get out of it.

I struggled so hard to get out of it that I SPLIT THE ZIPPER!

Yes, indeed.

I busted the zipper while sitting on the toilet going pee.

Honestly, you spread your knees JUST A LITTLE BIT SO YOU CAN WIPE and WHOOPS!

You’ve busted your zipper.

TMI?

In any case, I took the outfit to Tejas’ house and he proceeded to stitch me into my costume with leather thread and an industrial strength needle.

This is important when sewing through a faux leather costume.

The important thing to note here is that I only had the capacity to stay as long as my bladder wasn’t full.

The minute I had to pee, I had to go home.

It’s an adventure, folks.

I’ve never backed down from a challenge.

I even drank beer when I was there.

In the end, I had a blast as a BLOND Black Widow.

Tejas made me take off my red wig.

He said I made a lousy redhead and I’m not sure he wasn’t’ right.

The addendum to this post is that when I got home, I had to pee rather desperately, but I couldn’t get out of my jumpsuit.

Did I pee my pants?

No.

I had to ask my 19 year old son for help.

You can imagine how THRILLED he was helping his mom out of a sweaty bodysuit.

I believe he let out a string of expletives then suggested that I “act my age.”

Never!

Lesson Learned

I am notorious for buying outfits for themed events – such as the Star Wars Party or 80s Rock Stars Party – and then not trying the clothes on until just before the event.

Sometimes, this results in a few snafus.

For instance, I got this lovely dress for the Teal and Lavender Party.

I’m going to tell you right now, how I managed to find the PERFECT dress is a total mystery to me, but there you have it, a dress with TEAL and LAVENDER!

I snapped it up.

Unfortunately, it didn’t REALLY come in my size so I had to hope that the forgiving cut of the design would accommodate my curves.

There I am, getting dressed in the hotel and I try to slip on the dress and OH GOD, IT’S STUCK ON MY BOOBS.

Sure enough, the dress was long and flowing but the under slip was tight and form fitting and I SWEAR I HAD TO STUFF MY BOOBS INTO THAT SLIP LIKE I WAS STUFFING A WATERMELON INTO A SAUSAGE CASING.

Fortunately, it made wearing a bra totally unnecessary.

I turned to look at myself in the mirror and that’s when I noticed. . .

The dress was pretty much see-through.

Yup, if you stared at it, you could see everything – my panties, my lack of a bra, my nipples, even my flipping belly button!

Now, what you need to know is that I had a second dress with me.

A long tie dye maxi dress.

So I technically COULD HAVE changed into that.

But I was so determined that I was going to wear that beautiful ombre dress that I refused to change.

Instead I brought the second dress with me as a “wardrobe change.”

I spent most of the evening sitting in the shade at the party, trying to hide my nakedness from the partygoers.

Until it came time to jump in the hot tub.

Then the clothes came off. . .

Rainbow Bright

I have fallen in love.

No, it’s not what you’re thinking.

I’m not quitting my job and moving to Sweden.

Oh, my Swedish is ATROCIOUS!

No.

I’ve fallen in love with a summer dress.

Don’t you just love it too?

I have a fundraiser coming up and I’ve decided I’m going to wear it for the fundraiser.

I bought a pair of yellow heels:

And a cute little yellow flower fascinator to wear.

I’m not sure why I get captured by outfits the way I do.

I’m going to a Village meeting this Saturday and I’m wearing a steampunk outfit to that:

But this rainbow striped dress?

So lovely!

I could have danced all night

A volunteer organization I have worked with in the past is holding a Derby Fundraiser, complete with bourbon tasting.

Yum!

Now, I am not one to skip the opportunity to dress up and wear a fancy hat.

No siree!

Nor am I the type to skip a little bourbon tasting.

I love me some Maker’s Mark!

But since I’m a little nutty, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be nice to combine cosplay AND derby?”

Check out this $995 custom gown on etsy. . .

And two custom hats:

Now, I’m NOT saying I’m going.

Seriously, WHO would I take as a date?

But I am saying, IF I went, then I’d probably cosplay Eliza Doolittle.

Perfect rags to riches story.

Of course, wearing turtleneck longsleeve dresses is not my forte.

Why hide my assets under layers of lace and ribbon?

Still, it might be fun to adopt a British accent (I’m actually APPALLING at accents), and pretend to be a lady of leisure who sips bourbon and raises money for charities.

Two out of three ain’t bad!

Bonus!

One of the things I LOVE about Village Meetings is that they usually have a THEME and people get all dressed up.

Last month, our host picked the theme ‘’Orange” for his Village Meeting.

Yesterday he changed it to STEAMPUNK, on account of the Airpusher Steampunk-themed event in San Francisco that same evening.

So people can get dressed up and go to BOTH events without a wardrobe change.

We are burners.

We take our outfits seriously.

In any case, I am glad I won’t have to drag out the ONLY orange clothing I have – an orange tunic and several pairs of orange print leggings.

They are such a MOM thing to wear.

I’d look like a bad LuLaRoe ad.

In any case, I also don’t feel like dragging out ALL MY STEAMPUNK clothes.

That’s the one complaint I have about the Steampunk style – so many layers and accessories.

So I did the next best thing:

I bought a pair of Steampunk leggings off of Amazon.

I also happen to have a Steampunk-ish jacket I can wear with it (though the buttons are ALL WRONG):

I also have a pretty cool brown Steampunk hat which I got off of ebay.

A milliner at The Great Dickens Faire once told me it was “busy” but WTF, I don’t care.

Here’s the remainder of the outfit –  minus the accessories:

I’ve finally reached a point in my costume catalog that I no longer need to go shopping for new outfits when there’s a new event.

Bonus!

Of course, the trick now is FINDING it!

St. Pauli Girl

A long time ago, I bought myself a St. Pauli Girl costume.

Little did I know how much use I was going to get out of it.

I wore that costume when I poured beer to raise money for charities.

And I wore it to my German friend’s birthday party (both times).

I also wore it to Oktoberfest celebrations and even on playa as a trick-or-treat costume.

Sadly however, the costume has bit the dust.

Well, I’m ASSUMING that it bit the dust since I can’t seem to find it since I last wore it.

I think in a fit of nonchalance, I carelessly “retired it to the round file,” instead of giving it a proper send off (three beers, a shot of Feigling, and some loud tuba music).

As it happens, I have three other “Oktoberfest” costumes, however NONE of them are authentic.

They’re green and pink, blue and white, brown and yellow.

What I want is a REAL St. Pauli Girl costume, and I have been searching high and low for just that.

Red skirt, blue apron, black corset, white blouse.

How HARD could that be?

Turns out. . . VERY HARD!

Hence the reason why I have THREE alternate Oktoberfest costumes.

So you can imagine how THRILLED I was to discover the EXACT SAME St. Pauli Girl costume on Amazon. . . and IN MY SIZE!

I’m sure everyone will be BEYOND ECSTATIC to see that my ass no longer peeks out from under a skirt that is two sizes too small for me to wear.

Or will they?

Roar

I’m working on a new Burning Man outfit, loosely inspired by THIS image:

I LOVE the large, colorful graphic sphinx swimsuit and literally SCOURED THE INTERNET looking for a similar lion swimsuit.

This was as close as I came, but sadly was years old and therefore sold out in all sizes.

I happened upon several swimsuits on Wish.com but we’ve already established how well Chinese clothes fit me (not at all).

So I was THRILLED when I finally stumbled across THIS lovely and colorful swimsuit on Poshmark in my size.

Throw on a pair of fishnet tights and my lovely black boots:

And you ALMOST have a completed look.

It needs something on top.

I’m thinking, given all the colors in the suit, that a flower crown will look nice and jungle appropriate out there on the playa:

And voilà!

One lion outfit done and ready to go to Burning Man.

P.S. Don’t forget, the WHOLE reason I am working with swimsuits is that I am trying to minimize my packing while maximizing clothing options.

If I can work up the courage to wear these outfits on the playa.

We shall see. . .

Miss Bennet

I’m working on a new costume because I realized that all would not be right in the world if I didn’t have a Regency-style costume in my collection.

You may not know this, but I was inspired to work on this costume by the play “Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberly.”

And even though it may be gauche, I imagine that I can also wear this costume to the Dickens Faire and perhaps even the Edwardian Ball despite the fact that the fashion of those eras are separated by some one hundred years.

Who knows?

One can hope.

So here’s the dress – a simple ivory colored Regency gown.

Short sleeves. High waistline. Long hem. Lace yoke. Modest hemline, especially for me.

I like it, but it’s a little plain.

So I bought a hat that let me make a statement.

Let’s hope when this arrives it looks like it does in the picture.

Because honestly, I didn’t expect that it would be coming ALL THE WAY FROM CHINA!

And I am AWFULLY skeptical of products that come from China.

Of course the outfit needs two accessories: gloves and a sash.

I bought both, each with a little bling – of course.

The lace gloves are very pretty and the sash has some nice sparkle to it.

Then I bought this set of jewelry to finish off the look – pear shaped drop crystal earrings with a matching necklace.

I have NO IDEA how everything will look when I put it together.

I still need to buy a wrap for the outfit, but overall I’m very pleased with my selections.

For a woman who usually wears bright colored clothes, I think I’ve managed to really step outside myself and produce a costume that captures the flavor of the era.

 

UPDATE:

I also found a matching ivory reticule, for the outfit.  Should go perfect!

Second Halloween

For Halloween, I was officially a BAT.

A cute black bat wearing dusty playa boots.

There’s always an homage to Burning Man with me.

Then there’s SECOND HALLOWEEN, which – if you’re lucky – you get to celebrate with your burner friends.

It’s a meeting/party of sorts where guests are invited to wear their Halloween costumes.

Again.

Because you know how us burners LOVE to get dressed up and stand out. . .

So instead of being a bat (which was a fucking hot sweatshirt), I opted to be a leopard.

I wore a leopard jumpsuit, a sweater, and leopard ears.

AND I PAINTED MY FACE LIKE A LEOPARD.

Well. . . a cat.

See!

Happy SECOND HALLOWEEN to me!