The Last of the Costumes

My strawberry dress FINALLY arrived!

I’ve been waiting and waiting for it to get here and NOW IT’S HERE!

I don’t know what to do with myself, I’m so excited.

Finally, a strawberry dress that fits.

There’s one teensy tiny problem, however.

It’s virtually see-through.

Yeah.

See-through clothing is fine for Burning Man and the like but not so great for day-to-day wear.

Therefore I MUST buy a pink slip to go under the dress.

No big deal.

The royal blue hat and heels arrived as well.

Sadly, I think the shoes will not work.

They hobble me in minutes.

So I bought a pair of the much sought after Penny Loves Kenney electric blue velvet heels:

I’ve sworn to Nadine that I’m going to use my funds for investments and not costumes anymore, so we’ll see how many costumes I put together for 2021 – could be not many at all.

But I’m still scrolling though Pinterest looking for inspiration.

Lately, I’ve been impressed with some styles for men:

But I’ve been looking at a few designs for women which appeal to me, most notably THESE braids and a foam wig:

But since Burning Man 2021 is a long way off, I’m just perusing the web for costumes but INVESTING my money in stock.

Nadine will be so proud!

Classy, sassy and a little smart assy

First of all, I am NOT working on another costume inspired by this model/celebrity:

But IF I were, the first thing I’d notice is that it’s rather easy to purchase a “PLUS SIZE BLACK THONG BIKINI BOTTOM.”

Etsy, FTW!

It is remarkably HARD however to find a transparent mesh bodysuit to wear over it [NOTE TO SELF:  It’s only hard until you check lingerie sites like Yandy.com and SpicyLingerie.com]

And right about the time I googled “plus size see-through jumpsuit” I started to wonder if perhaps in my enthusiasm for the “Buss It” phenomenon sweeping TIkTok that I might be going a bit TOO FAR in the costume department.

I am a 47 year old mother who probably doesn’t need to hang my ass out for all to see.

And I maybe took a second to snap a few pics of what appealed to me, no matter how bright and bold:

Realizing that all these jumpsuits are pretty ridiculous and I don’t need to buy them.

And then I stumbled across the Shangri La of jumpsuits:

Now of course, you’re thinking I’m crazy but picture it with these earrings:

And THIS hair:

Add a pair of roller skates and some doublemint gum and I am the rolling 70s!

Bridgerton as anesthesia

There’s a lot going on in the US lately.

I confess I’m more than a little stressed out.

I’m so stressed that I must do something to assuage my stress.

That’s where Bridgerton comes in handy.

Bridgerton is a Netflix series about the Bridgerton family navigating the marriage season in London in the early 1800s.

It’s a bit of fluff with awesome costumes and attractive actors.

I’ve watched the series three times now and each time I watch it, it is the anesthesia that I need to calm down and escape from my daily stresses.

But I’ve got a bone to pick with the series creator.

In the series, many of the eligible young ladies have NO IDEA how babies are made.

Really.

They’re going around trying to figure out how babies are made.

It’s laughable.

And of course, the ending is a little too perfect for words.

The main character gives birth to a son, thereby securing the family line.

It’s as if the series creator decided to tell a story about the perfection of being a woman, a wife, and a mother.

We all know not everyone gets a happy ending.

But for the purposes of escaping my daily grind, Bridgerton is a great diversion!

Costumes I’m DYING to get

It’s my favorite time of year.

The weather changes and becomes cooler.

We start gearing up for the holidays.

AND there’s Halloween, only my most favorite holiday of them all.

The algorithms over at Facebook are having their hey day with me, showing me all sorts of costumes and accoutrement for Halloween.

Here are a few stand outs from HalloweenCostumes.com.

Ruby from the Fifth Element. Because I can’t fit in a LeeLoo bandage costume.

Ludo from Labyrinth. Because I really love Labyrinth and I already have a Sarah costume.

Lil Kim purple catsuit with matching nipple pasty.  Because I love modern pop culture costume references.

Ace Ventura.  Because he’s the best and it looks like an easy costume to pull off.  Love you Jim Carrey!

Claire from The Breakfast Club.  Once again, LOVE pop culture references.  Does it come with a John Bender accessory, I wonder. . .

Sarah from Labyrinth.  I already have a quinceañera dress I wear as a Labyrinth costume, but this one is so much nicer.

Beauty School Dropout costume from Grease.  Because I already have a Hot Sandy costume.

Another good source of women’s costumes is Fashion Nova.

Here are a few outstanding costumes:

A knock off of Jennifer Lopez’s famous plunging green Versace gown from the 2000 Grammys.

Madonna’s Take A Bow costume.  Because we’ve already established I’m a sucker for pop culture references.

Take this all with a grain of salt.

I won’t be ordering them all.

But I plan to pick up a few for my closet.

Now if I could just arrange for a party!

Halloween costumes

Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.

Hardcore girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears.

I’m stumped however as to what I’ll wear this year, if I wear anything.

Thanks to covid.

Usually I go to a party at my Aunt and Uncle’s house but that’s not happening this year so what’s a girl with 10 totes full of costumes supposed to do?

Perhaps put them on and take pictures in them for my blog?

I always blog when I’m working on the costumes, but never the finished product.

My question to you is this, IF I were to model my costumes for the blog, which ones do you want to see?

Why the F not?

You know, it’s possible that this collecting costume thing is getting out of hand.

I literally have hundreds of them.

I used to collect shoes and ball gowns.

Now it’s costumes and Burning Man outfits.

All of this is just a preface to me saying this:

I bought another costume today.

I bought a Cher outfit.

Not THAT Cher.

I’m no slim Armenian-American pop star.

Not even close, though the attempt to do a Cher costume would be HILARIOUS!

No, I meant Cher from Clueless.

THAT Cher.

I bought the yellow plaid schoolgirl costume:

Why?

Because honestly every time I see that costume, I get a little giggly.

And because they made it in my size.

So why the F not?

Snapshot of my life

Okay, I have a pet peeve.

America is self-destructing and Facebook is still marketing garbage to me.

Cheap dresses from China.

False eyelashes from all over.

Strange oddities from Wish.com (like a vaginal steamer).

Who does Facebook think I am?

Gwyneth Paltrow?

Amidst all this chaos, I am continuing my regular rituals of getting up early, going to work (from my dining room), and working on costumes.

The Egyptian slave costume is finished and I’m happy to say that my friend Nadine has a matching outfit.

So on to the next costume – an angel outfit complete with halo and wings.

It’s what I do to keep the anxiety at bay.

I’m also looking into online MBA programs offered by UC Davis, San Jose State, and Purdue Global.

The good news is that all these programs look affordable and reasonable for me to be accepted into.

The bad news is I have to take 2 semesters of economics and one semester of statistics to meet the prerequisites of applying.

Maybe also an algebra class (something I tested out of in high school when I took college calculus as a senior).

So there you have it – a snapshot into my life as it exists right now.

Hats off

It’s hard to write blog posts during a pandemic.

I have to ignore the voice in my head screaming that people are suffering and dying and instead focus on something else that can grab my attention.

And it’s damn hard to focus on anything else.

The last thing I want to do is to spend more time focusing on the virus.

Instead I choose to pay attention to something that gives me a little relief from all the COVID-19 talk.

My costumes.

My hat and the custom hat band I ordered arrived in the mail yesterday.

I had to fight like the dickens to remove the boring old hat band that came with the pretty chapeau so I could replace it with my new and improved hat band.

I don’t think it turned out too shabby, how about you?

It is quickly replacing my pirate hat as my favorite hat:

Ironically, I have a HUGE selection of hats – from dark brown felt Stetsons to pomp om beanies and more.

It was a joke among the men I dated from Tinder that all my profile pictures had me wearing some sort of hat or helmet.

Can’t help it that interesting things happen when I’m wearing a hat.

Multiverse

God only knows if Burning Man will or won’t take place this summer.

I lean towards it being cancelled just because I think it might be a dangerous time to start allowing gatherings again, especially one as intimate as Burning Man is.

We’re talking Orgy Dome, cuddle puddles, hugs, multi-use foot baths, lack of handwashing stations, food prepared in outdoor kitchens, etc.

But, just in case it happens, I am prepared:

I have costumes all lined up and ready to go and quite honestly, I’m so pleased with the results of my costuming efforts.

I’ll throw in my White Wednesday outfit and a tutu for Tutu Tuesday and call it a day!

Bygones

Today, I met a man whose love of cosplay rivaled my own.

I mean I’m not a professional but I LOVE costumes and role play.

We shared some of our favorite costumes and he helped me out with an idea for a new costume.

I admitted to binge watching True Blood and knew it was time to make a True Blood costume.

A vampire of course.

Perhaps Jessica?

No.

Pam from True Blood:

She has some FUN lewks.

And, of course she has some great one liners:

Let this good people practice their constitutional right to be fucking idiots.

I am wearing a Wal-mart sweatsuit for ya’ll, if that’s not a demonstration of team spirit, I don’t know what is.

And my PERSONAL favorite:

Let bygones, be bygones; bi-girls, be bi-girls.