My Very First Santa Con

The most notable part about my weekend this past weekend is that I got smashed.

Trashed.

Blottoed.

Is that even a word?

I didn’t intend to and I blame the fact that I switched from drinking beer to drinking gin about halfway through the night.

But let’s start at the beginning.

I decided to attend my first Santa Con – a party where a group of people get dressed like Santa in festive holiday attire and go en mass from one pub to the next bringing holiday spirit and cheer while consuming alcoholic beverages.  I put together an appropriate outfit – black boots, fishnet tights, white tutu, red velvet corset with white maribou feather trim, and of course a Santa hat.

IMG_8478Our path was all laid out – first we went to Aloft Bar, then Whole Foods (who were INCREDIBLY HOSPITABLE), followed by The Monte Vista Inn, and finally landing at The Blue Pheasant.

Everyone was dressed up in various Santa garb. My favorite was a duo – a flattened grandma and the reindeer who ran her over. Perfect! Love everyone’s creativity!

I got run over by the reindeer myself… note the hoof print on my chest!

IMG_8484At Paul & Eddie’s, I switched from drinking beer to drinking 4 olive gin martinis.

And that’s what did me in.

By the time we got to The Blue Pheasant, I was incapable of using my phone to arrange for a Lyft so I had to get a ride home from a nice gentleman who was kind enough to offer me a ride.

And then I was too drunk to give him directions.

He had to use an app to get me home.

Sigh.

I’m really embarrassed to say that I actually remember farting in his car on the ride home.

HUMILIATION!!!

Jesus, was I DRUNK!

So lesson learned: Santa Con is a marathon, not a sprint.

Drink accordingly!

Santa Con

It’s Santa Con time and I’m totally EXCITED!

What could be better than dressing up like Santa Claus, or putting on another festive costume, and going from bar to bar, sipping on libations?

Nothing, I tell you!

How I managed to make it through 42 years of my life without knowing about Santa Cons I will never know.

I only learned about Santa Con through the burners.

They are always up for a good dress up party!

Here I am at my first Santa Con in 2015:

It was (I think) the first annual Cupertino Santa Con.

We started at the W XYZ bar and made our way through Whole Foods’ Beer Garden where they fed us tasty free food, before landing at the Blue Pheasant for dancing.

Since then I’ve done NUMEROUS Santa Cons.

Campbell is my favorite because all the bars are so close together and the company is EXTRAORDINARY.

In 2016, I went as the Grinch, just to be green, instead of red, and I talked Barbara into going as well.

But last year was the best.

In part because I spontaneously ran into old high school friends of mine, and in part because I loved my Santa Claus-ette costume:

What you have to remember is that there are anywhere from 20 – 50 of us, all dressed up and ready for fun.

We walk around from bar to bar and it’s not so crowded that we can’t manage to grab a drink before we progress on to the next bar.

It’s so festive and really puts me in the holiday spirit.

The only Santa Con I haven’t done is the San Francisco Santa Con.

There’s A LOT of people who participate in that and I’ve heard it’s impossible to get a drink.

Every year I think I might go, and every year I chicken out.

However, I should rethink my stance on the SF Santa Con because there’s even a Santa Con train that take people from the South Bay to the City for Santa Con and you can drink and carouse with your friends on the train.

So. . . .