I have a curvy body.
It’s always been curvy, ever since I was in grade school wearing a D-cup bra in 7th grade.
My body is far from perfect.
I will never give Heidi Klum or Kate Upton a run for their money.
And I’m okay with that.
After YEARS of hating my body and trying to diet and exercise it into a mainstream shape, I’ve given up.
The downside to not having a perfect body is that I don’t look good from all angles.
The upside is, I gave away my last fuck years ago.
I will get naked and jump in a hot tub along with the rest of the crowd, heedless of who is looking at my naked body.
I want to have fun and I don’t want to let anything to get in the way.
I’ve got that too.
Pretty sure there’s acres of it on my backside.
I’ve got that in spades!
Ultimately, I think we all just like looking – naked, clothed, perfect, flawed, or whatever.
And every time I feel like I need to look different than how I look, I remind myself of the incredibly hot man who literally scooped me up and carried me off to his bed at Burning Man 2015.
Some guys (really) LIKE IT!
Now that I’m stepping on the scale a few times a week, I’m feeling very sheepish.
Like HOW IN THE WORLD DID THAT HAPPEN?!
One minute I was frolicking nude in my backyard, to devil with the neighbors, and the next minute I could barely stand to see myself naked.
Oh yeah, I know.
Yadda, yadda, yadda.
But when did I get so CURVY?
You know when your kids are 16 and 18 you can no longer use the pregnancy weight excuse.
So I guess it’s all the grilled cheese sandwiches and gin and tonics I consumed.
I’m still plugging along on my diet.
In two weeks I’ve lost 6 pounds.
Which is an accomplishment, but is also frustrating me.
Like can’t this go ANY FASTER?
I’ve got bikinis to wear, and bodysuits to rave in, and lingerie to pose in, and photos to take!
And I just want to get to my destination AS FAST AS FUCKING POSSIBLE.
I suppose since it took me 10 years to get here I should have a little patience.
Working hard for something makes you value it ALL THE MORE.
And it will certainly deter me from ever eating an excess of grilled cheese sandwiches and gin and tonics.
I am a big believer in the saying “Amazing things rarely happen in your comfort zone.” I’ve spent the better part of 10 years stepping outside my comfort zone with wonderful results – I’ve flown airplanes, I’ve gone skydiving, I’ve rafted Class IV-V rapids with strangers, I’ve gone to naked spas, I’ve meet fascinating people with alternative views on life, I’ve kayaked in the Pacific ocean, I’ve whale watched, I’ve crawled through caves with holes a regulation basketball wouldn’t fit through. And I’ve enjoyed it all (except for the cave crawl which I WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN).
But the one thing that strikes fear in me, that I really don’t want to do but think I probably should, is wear a strapless minidress and go out in public. Yes, nothing scares me more. I would rather get in the water with a great white shark than don a mini skirt and go out in public.
Of course, this has everything to do with my insecurities about my legs. So in usual fashion I’ve gone online to find similar examples of “thick legs” and I’ve posted them here. I actually like them. I should look at them everyday (instead of pictures of Kate Moss and other lollipop supermodels) and see if I don’t feel better about my own body. So here you go…. my “thick leg” photo collage.
I’m beginning to realize that as we get older, our bodies will start to fail us. It’s an inevitable part of the aging process. And do I want to spend the time I have left fighting with my body or loving it?! I think loving it is the better option.
Love curvy bodies? Care to comment?