Big girl, you are beautiful

When you’re programmed to believe from a young age that your body shape is wrong and needs to be fixed, it’s hard to combat decades of self-doubt.

I challenge my years of learned self-doubt by filling my Instagram stream with plus size models.

Size 12, size 20, size 22+?

They’re all in there.

[Just as an aside, I also follow mainstream beauties like Swimsuit Illustrated, Kate Upton, and Heidi Klum.]

They’re all beautiful women showing off their womanly bodies which don’t adhere to mainstream body guidelines.

And of course, I found this little song which is a like an earworm, it just can’t be unheard once you hear it:

“Big girl, you are beautiful.”

Not a bad chorus to have bouncing around in your head.

Why just yesterday in a fit of body confidence I slipped into a new Little Black Dress and went out with my friend Big Joe to get beers in Campbell at Out Of The Barrel.

Heels, wrap, big hair, LBD – the whole shebang.

Let people look, I figured.

In the end, no one died because I felt good about my non-mainstream body shape.

Although it certainly does feel like the world is coming to an end when you’re in the middle of a pandemic AND firestorm.

The whole time I was singing in my head, “Big girl, you ARE beautiful!”

Curves on the playa

I MAYBE went on a little spending spree to get some outfits put together for Burning Man.

One thing I’ve noticed. . . my outfits are getting MUCH smaller.

Where I used to put together layers of clothing, I’ve now adopted a simpler methodology.

Short shorts and crop tops.

LOL

Seriously!

Bathing suits and micro skirts.

I have ONE long faux fur jacket I wear for warmth.

But otherwise, on the playa, I’ve got to stay cool and the best way to do that is to go naked. . .

Which I’m not going to do.

The second best way to accomplish that is to actually wear as little clothing as possible.

That I can handle.

Everyone will get to see my thick thighs and my bodacious boobs in these outfits.

Oh well.

It can trigger weird reactions in people.

Not everyone likes curvy women.

But some people do.

And I swear, if one person walks up to me to tell me how “BRAVE” I am to wear tiny outfits, I’m going to make them chew tinfoil while shaving their head with a cheese grater.

You see, it’s like this:

I see curvy women wearing minimal clothing ALL THE TIME and they look great, even with all those curves.

So I figure, the only thing stopping me from also looking great in tiny clothes is me.

I love my body.

It’s given birth three times.

I’ve nursed two babies and yet I still have great tits.

It’s survived 45 years of wear and tear.

It’s got plenty more mileage left to go.

So, without further adieu, here are the outfits for Burning Man 2019:  Metamorphoses:

You’re not alone, sister!

Almost two and a half years ago I participated in Burning Man for the first time.

As is my usual habit, I spent A LOT of time planning and prepping.

I carefully reviewed every Burning Man Essentials list and incorporated all the items I was missing into my growing inventory.

In the end, I had 16 bins full of gear.

I may have gone overboard, but let me tell you, I was PREPARED.

Sunblock for my hair?

Check.

Essentials oils for my face mask?

Check.

Ridiculous now to think about them, but at the time I thought they were ESSENTIAL.

Needless to say, I spent a lot of time looking online for fashion guidance.

Self expression is BIG at Burning Man.

I was totally disappointed to find that 99.9% of the representations of women at Burning Man include slim women only.

Where are my thick girls? My curvy ladies?

I could find no representation of women on the playa for women OVER A SIZE 12.

What up?!

I began to wonder if I’d be the only thick girl on the playa.

Of course, that turned out to not be the case, but it still bothers me to this day that the diversity that exists on the playa is not captured by playa photographers.

And, of course, I had to remedy the situation not just by posting my playa photos on the internet, but also by creating a Pinterest board with fashion inspiration for the curvy lady planning to go to the playa.

You’re not alone, sister!

Burner Girls

I love my burner sisters.

They are by and large a group of resilient, beautiful, strong, and intelligent women.

Once again, however, I must object to the portrayal of burner women in the media.

Photographers seem to gravitate to skinny models and ignore non-mainstream burner women.

The diversity I see on the playa is not reflected in the photos I see.

And I can’t help but be disappointed.

Where are the curvy girls?

Where are my elders?

Where are my casually dressed burner sisters?

Where are the beautiful women of ethnicity?

Not everyone is a size two, young Caucasian model in full festival wear.

I follow an instagram feed called burnergirls.

And for the most part, it’s a lot of young, thin women in booty sticking out shorts wearing full festival gear.

Most of the pictures are authentic in that the burner girls are covered in dust.

I always look at their boots.

If the boots are dusty, then they’re real burners. If the boots are black, then the woman/women in the picture are models.

Real burner:

Model:

Lately, however, burnergirls has started to embrace the diversity we see on playa.

With older women:

With curvy women:

And with ethnic women:

I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see these women appear in my instagram feed.

It reminds me of HOME and where I like to be – right in the middle of a group of gorgeous burner women celebrating being at Burning Man and living our dreams.

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