Stepping out

As the world slowly reopens, so does my social life.

I actually stepped out a few days ago and enjoyed coffee with my friend George.

I was so excited to hug him, I nearly burst.

It was as awesome as I imagined it would be.

We sat outside Starbucks and chatted mostly about piercings and tattoos until he had to take off for a date.

Then yesterday I met another friend at Starbucks and what was supposed to be a 2 hour coffee date turned into an al fresco dinner at Oak & Rye.

Also, VERY GOOD HUGS!

I find myself jonesing for hugs now ALL THE TIME.

All in all, I’ve had a pretty good time emerging out into the world again.

My dear old truck with 246,000 miles on it needed a new battery so I took care of that today just as my kid’s sedan and my mom’s mini van broke down and had to be taken to the same auto shop.

I keep forgetting to bring a mask and I’m stymied as to why because it’s one of those things ingrained in me to do at Burning Man.

No matter where you’re going or what you’re doing, you always have a mask close at hand JUST IN CASE there’s a dust storm.

I’m just not used to planning that far ahead in real life.

It was enough of an accomplishment that I remembered to shower, do my hair and makeup and put on rea clothes (not just another pair of pajamas) to go out in.

Didn’t I look cute?

Happy re-emerging to all of you.

Can’t wait to get a pedicure!

Show my world to you

I’m craving Ethiopian food today.

Not just because there’s an awesome Ethiopian restaurant by me.

Also because I want to support black-owned businesses.

I want to put my money where it can do good and promote diversity.

I’ve donated to the ACLU.

And BLM.

I’m sure there’s many other worthy non-profits I could donate to.

But going to eat Ethiopian takes care of two birds with one stone:  I get tasty food AND I support a business owned by an African-American family.

I ate Ethiopian not long ago with my friend Austin who has since passed away.

I’ll never forget it took us 45 minutes to order our food because we were so busy talking.

And I was so busy staring into his eyes.

God, was he gorgeous.

Such a tragedy his life ended by suicide.

I’ll never go to that restaurant ever again without thinking of him and remembering how ALIVE I felt when I was with him.

Or listen to the Dave Matthew’s Band play “Crash Into Me” without getting teary-eyed.

I’ll show my world to you. . .

Three strikes, you’re out!

michelleI was really into this one guy when I was younger.

He was a drummer.

Just one of several drummers I dated.

I guess I have a thing for lumberjacks AND drummers.

The thing about him was that he was just absolutely THE DEFINITION OF SEXY.

Dark hair, dark eyes, nice biceps honed from years of going apeshit on his tubs.

He was also EVER SO SLIGHTLY younger than me.

I was so excited when he asked me out.

I remember he got lost on the way to my house to pick me up.

He drove an old truck.

Bonus!

Be still my heart.

In any case, he picked me up and we went out and for the life I me I don’t recall where we went or what we did.

All I know is that when it came time to say goodnight, he was dropping my off at my house and I leaned in the car window to give him a kiss and when the kiss was over, he said (I KID YOU NOT), “Good night Lisa. I mean Melissa. I mean Michelle.”

Now, at the time I was CRUSHED by this turn of events.

But as time has passed, I have realized that it wasn’t all that bad.

I’m such a good kisser I clearly kissed all the sense from his head and he couldn’t remember my name.

Yeah, that’s what happened!

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How to prepare for a date

As a woman, there are certain things I do to get ready for a date.  I’ll admit, I go a little overboard.  But you’ve got to be prepared for everything so it pays to take your time and go through certain rituals.

Take for instance, my date for Valentine’s Day.

Now as far as I’m concerned, V-Day is a day just like every other day.  So don’t think that this is some SPECIAL ritual because of the holiday. No, this is my normal psychotic ritual.

  • Shave.  This one is mandatory.  Don’t want to be caught with any unsightly hair.  Also allows me to participate in post-date snuggling activities without being prickly.
  • Wax my business.  Or in my case, laser it off so it’s not there in the first place.  Allows for… ahem.. you know.  On the rare chance I decide I like him enough to do it.  It’s all about option, folks.
  • Botox.  Okay, I don’t do this with every date, but I do it every 6 months and it just happened to land on Valentine’s Day.  Basically, I do this because I’m 45 and vain and don’t want to look wrinkly and old. $170
  • Blow Dry.  This one I feel is mandatory.  My date made a comment that he liked my hair wavy so I went to the salon and got it styled the same way.  Do not underestimate how much of a boost you can get from a good blow out.  $50
  • Makeup.  I think I spent about 45 minutes doing my makeup.  Gotta look as good as possible.  Too bad there’s no makeup that takes off 20 pounds, though.

And there you have it – a $220 pre-date ritual.

And yes, I know.  None of these things matter because in the end it’s all about CONNECTING with the other person.  But I have to imagine that a little va-va-va-voom can’t hurt.

Of course, now you know how crazy I am when it comes to dates.

C-R-A-Z-Y !

 

Choke

For the Fourth of July, I was invited to hang with the new guy in his neck of the woods.

He planned to take me on a tour of his house, show me the new camping trailer, entertain me with his pool table for a little while before heading out to get dinner and see fireworks.

Decent plan, eh?

Did I mention that the new guy keeps cider and water chilled in his truck just in case I get thirsty?

Yeah, he’s that fucking thoughtful.

He really pays attention to the details and it shows.

So there we are, sitting at his house watching comedy sketches in the living room when he gets a phone call from his sister.

And his son.

They’re all gathering for the Fourth of July to watch fireworks and can we join?

The new guy sort of left it up to me.

Would I like to meet his family?

The answer is of course, BUT NOT YET.

It’s an important thing, meeting the family, and I didn’t want to do it a disservice by meeting them before I know exactly where the new guy and I are headed.

Maybe it was a smart move.

Maybe it was a bad idea.

For sure it was a hard thing to do, to just get up and leave earlier than I had anticipated.

But it was the right thing to do.

Right?

First Date

Sunday, I went on a date.

Not just any date – a TINDER date.

Yes, the online dating app well-known for hookups.

I picked him up (it was on my way) and we went to a small pub in Redwood City.

They had delicious German beers on tap and we partook of several before heading out to a nearby taco stand to get tacos.

After tacos we went to a liquor store to get the fixings for one of our favorite drinks – the Sazerac.

Then we retired to his place for cocktails and to play with his kitties (he has three).

Was there any action, you want to know?

The answer is OF COURSE.

It’s me, after all.

But I managed to behave myself.

Which wasn’t easy to do because not only was my date a lumberjack, he’s a very HANDSOME lumberjack who I could easily stare at for hours.

You can only imagine my excitement going out on a date with him.

I had a great time and it only got strange a little bit (like seeing a handgun on a countertop at his house).

I HOPE he had a good time and that we go out again, but only time will tell.

Birthday Sex

I had my first SLS date last night.

How did it go?

In a word?

Awesome!

He was clever, witty, engaging and funny.

He laughed at my jokes.

I felt an instant connection to him.

He was real, unlike some of the Match or POF dates I’ve had, who prattle on and on about their jobs, their income, their investment portfolios, and their cars while saying ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about who they are as a person.

Sitting across from me last night was an authentic man, available for fun and enjoyment.

And I really liked that.

I had such a good time, I hope I get to see him again soon.

And since his birthday is on Tuesday. . .

. . .we might set up a “birthday” date.

Something fun, wet, and wild!

You know me, I can NEVER pass up an opportunity to celebrate someone’s birthday!

And this gives me the opportunity to spend more time with him and get to know him better.

Win – win!

 

Mother of girls

My oldest son is going to the prom.

Not his prom, mind you.

He SKIPPED all of those when he was in high school.

It’s only now that he’s graduated, with a girlfriend still in high school that he’s decided to attend one.

Personally, I think she HOUNDED him to get him to go.

My son isn’t really into dancing or dressing up, two things that feature heavily at proms.

I feel like I should make him watch Pretty in Pink or something to prepare him for what proms are like.

Did I mention that this is a prom at my old high school?

Yes, so I know EXACTLY what’s in store for him.

Twinkle lights, tinfoil and tissue paper decorations, a tired DJ, the prom king and queen ceremony, all that stuff.

It’s making me nostalgic just thinking of it.

I kinda wish I could be a fly on the wall and go watch him.

The funny part of this is that I was contacted by his girlfriend, to tell me exactly what he needs to be prepared for the prom:

  • A navy bow tie
  • A navy cummerbund
  • And, of course, a CORSAGE

I went a little crazy ordering the corsage.

Something unique, I said. With a special wristband, not just the plain white elastic.

It MUST compliment the navy dress, I instructed the florist.

I went crazy to the tune of $45.

And we haven’t even shopped for his tuxedo yet!

I’m EXTRAORDINARILY happy he’s finally going to a prom.

It’s something that’s right up my alley and I think given my experience pulling together outfits, that he will be THE BEST LOOKING YOUNG MAN AT THE PROM.

It’s times like this that I realize I should have had a girl in addition to my boys.

I would have made an EXCELLENT mother of girls!

The one where she goes on a nice date

I had a date last week with a nice gentleman.

He played guitar for me and let me sing.

I’ll tell you one thing, it is NOT EASY to sing JANIS JOPLIN.

Not at all.

It’s easier to sing HOTEL CALIFORNIA but of course, the lyrics are hard to remember.

We started out with dinner at a Burmese restaurant.

It was quite tasty AND spicy!

Who knew I’d have a thing for coconut rice and tea leaf salad, including jalapeños!?

Just wash it all down with a Burmese beer and you’re good to go, you know?

Then he invited me to his place.

Since we’d already had the “I’m on 90 days of abstinence” conversation, I agreed.

Like I said, he was a kind, respectful gentleman and I trusted him.

We had fun drinking beer, talking about his travels, and playing music.

I sang Pat Benatar’s “We Belong.”

He played “Under Pressure” by Queen, which is a remarkably repetitive song, by the way.

Who knew?

In the end, I went home with barely a kiss on my lips, but a smile on my face.

He invited me on a trip to India with him.

Of course, if I go anywhere this holiday season, I’ll be going to Stockholm, not India.

But I appreciated the invitation!