Lesson Learned

I am notorious for buying outfits for themed events – such as the Star Wars Party or 80s Rock Stars Party – and then not trying the clothes on until just before the event.

Sometimes, this results in a few snafus.

For instance, I got this lovely dress for the Teal and Lavender Party.

I’m going to tell you right now, how I managed to find the PERFECT dress is a total mystery to me, but there you have it, a dress with TEAL and LAVENDER!

I snapped it up.

Unfortunately, it didn’t REALLY come in my size so I had to hope that the forgiving cut of the design would accommodate my curves.

There I am, getting dressed in the hotel and I try to slip on the dress and OH GOD, IT’S STUCK ON MY BOOBS.

Sure enough, the dress was long and flowing but the under slip was tight and form fitting and I SWEAR I HAD TO STUFF MY BOOBS INTO THAT SLIP LIKE I WAS STUFFING A WATERMELON INTO A SAUSAGE CASING.

Fortunately, it made wearing a bra totally unnecessary.

I turned to look at myself in the mirror and that’s when I noticed. . .

The dress was pretty much see-through.

Yup, if you stared at it, you could see everything – my panties, my lack of a bra, my nipples, even my flipping belly button!

Now, what you need to know is that I had a second dress with me.

A long tie dye maxi dress.

So I technically COULD HAVE changed into that.

But I was so determined that I was going to wear that beautiful ombre dress that I refused to change.

Instead I brought the second dress with me as a “wardrobe change.”

I spent most of the evening sitting in the shade at the party, trying to hide my nakedness from the partygoers.

Until it came time to jump in the hot tub.

Then the clothes came off. . .

Tie Dye vs Ombre

Don’t you just LOVE Geminis?

I know I do.

I grew up with one (my sister).

They are incredibly loyal and fiercely protective of those they love.

But Geminis have two sides to them and you do not want to cross them.

You’ll feel the heat.

I will be celebrating another Gemini’s birthday this weekend.

MotherP is having a birthday celebration.

The theme is her favorite colors – teal and lavender.

All my lavender and teal clothes are “work appropriate” and not exactly “party material” so of course I had to go shopping for something better.

I found this tie dye dress which seemed to fit the bill.

But it’s coming from Hong Kong, which means sizing and on time delivery are questionable so I HAD to get a backup dress:

This one I LOVE.

It’s so pretty with all it’s colors bleeding into each other.

Way more subtle transitions than tie dye.

Of course, I’m not sure the fascinator hat I bought will work with BOTH outfits:

Which one do you like?

Rainbow Bright

I have fallen in love.

No, it’s not what you’re thinking.

I’m not quitting my job and moving to Sweden.

Oh, my Swedish is ATROCIOUS!

No.

I’ve fallen in love with a summer dress.

Don’t you just love it too?

I have a fundraiser coming up and I’ve decided I’m going to wear it for the fundraiser.

I bought a pair of yellow heels:

And a cute little yellow flower fascinator to wear.

I’m not sure why I get captured by outfits the way I do.

I’m going to a Village meeting this Saturday and I’m wearing a steampunk outfit to that:

But this rainbow striped dress?

So lovely!

Pilgrim Costume Part Deux

Drat!

I lost my pilgrim costume.

I’ve looked ALL OVER and I can’t find it.

On the other hand, I did discover a gypsy costume I totally forgot I had.

And I found my black PVC vinyl collection which I stroked gently before I put it away.

It’s the little thrills that get me.

Anyhow, so here I am two days away from the Pilgrim’s Pub Crawl and I have no costume.

Fortunately, my friend Chris is going to help me out.

But. . .

I also went online and reordered all the stuff I lost.

The brown dress:

The stripper cuffs (yes, they’re really called that):

The black belt (more modern than I would like but oh well):

A capelet, pleasingly plain and boring:

And a demure white apron:

And finally, a really demure, and quite virginal white bonnet. Watch and see if I don’t burst into flames when I put it on!

So there you have it – round 2 of the Pilgrim costume.

Maybe one of these years I’ll actually get to wear it.

Sigh!

The Playful Pilgrim

Last year, some friends hosted a Pilgrim Bar Crawl in Downtown Mountain View which I missed out on attending.

Costumes were OPTIONAL, however being the creative people that we are, many people dressed up as turkeys and pilgrims.

One woman even MADE A SKIRT OUT OF STUFFED TURKEYS!

It was incredible.

So incredible, I’m determined to put together a costume for this year’s Thanksgiving Pub Crawl.

THIS costume was my inspiration:

pilgrimI managed to find a brown dress on Amazon, which will fit nicely over my white petticoat.

pilgrim-dress pilgrim-petticoat

 

Then I bought a little tiny white apron:

pilgrim-apron

And a black belt with an antique silver buckle:

pilgrim-beltPlus a black capelet with a demure little white collar attached:

pilgrim-capeletAnd a white bonnet which makes me feel like Strawberry Shortcake:

pilgrim-bonnetAnd finally, the white wrist cuffs:

pilgrim-cuffs3I debated on buying real white/black BDSM cuffs, just to be cheeky and make the costume a bit edgy but in the end I opted for the more prim plain white cuffs.

pilgrim-cuffs2So there you have it – a pilgrim costume just for this pub crawl.

Should be TONS OF FUN!

pilgrim-costume

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Happy Birthday Tejas!

Tejas turns 56 today! Or something like that.

We are celebrating with a Great Gatsby (The Roaring 20s) party this weekend.

My dress:

IMG_8731My headband:

FullSizeRender(1)And my hair:

gatsby1Great Gatsby (aka flapper) style hair is challenging for long hair since so many of the hairstyles of that time were short bobs, and cropped close to the head.

Women feminized the look by creating soft waves in their hair.

I went online to find out how to give myself finger waves and discovered that IT WAS COMPLICATED.

Way above my hairstyle IQ.

Then I found a post about a WAVING IRON which basically does almost the same thing without all the investment in hair pins and clamps.

So I snapped one up on Amazon Prime.

And it worked!

Woo!

As my mom said, “Just add some red lipstick, a flapper dress and thigh highs with a Great Gatsby man and you will Charleston the night away.”

I can do something about the lipstick but the man, well that’s another story…

Great Gatsby: The Roaring 20’s

Tejas and Twisty are having a joint birthday party and the theme is Great Gatsby: The Roaring 20’s.

I personally am less than thrilled with an era when dress necklines were decorous and proper.

But that’s only because some of my most beautiful assets are best viewed with low décolleté.

Nevertheless, I am happy to celebrate with Tejas and Twisty.

I’ve pulled together (ANOTHER) costume and I’m quite excited about it. I hope it looks as good on me as it does on the computer (yes, I am an internet shopper).

First, there’s a gorgeous cream colored dress with fringe.

IMG_8731Then there’s a lovely headband, complete with feathers and sequins.

FullSizeRender(1)Not sure I have flapper shoes, but I’ll come up with something. I’m NOT BUYING dowdy kitten heel shoes to wear with my outfit. I’m just not.

I’m trying to talk Tejas and Mary, his girlfriend, into serving a sophisticated cocktail with the regular bar fare.

Something like a Hemingway (made with Bacardi Limon, lime juice, Luxardo, and grapefruit juice), or an Aviation cocktail (made with gin, lemon juice, Luxardo, and Crème de Violette).

Cocktail making is labor intensive, but oh-so-representative of the Roaring 20s.

But since it is so labor intensive, we may go with a punch instead of individual cocktails.

Either way, I’m destined to have fun.

Cheers!

Go Bare!

Yesterday, a package arrive in the mail for me.

It was the dress I ordered for my demon costume – a clingy black number with mesh sleeves.

I picked up the dress and fluffed in out and to my surprise I noticed that THE ENTIRE TOP OF THE DRESS IS MESH, NOT JUST THE SLEEVES AND NECK.

Now, I did not realize this because the model in the picture is wearing some sort of black bra that disguises the fact that THE ENTIRE TOP OF THE DRESS IS MESH.

Screen Shot 2016-02-03 at 2.31.58 PMAfter my initial freak out, I started to come up with solutions.

The first one being DON’T SHOP FOR CLOTHES ONLINE!

Then I began to think about my lovely lingerie collection and how I can wear my gorgeous back Italian bra with the sexy lace straps under the dress.

Or how I can wear my “barely there” bra which is little more than a strip of underwire and a few straps.

The question is…. HOW SHEER AM I WILLING TO GO?

Of course, I can always get a camisole to wear under the dress, but that would defeat the purpose now, wouldn’t it.

I asked myself, what would a demon do?

And the answer was…

Go bare!

New Year’s Eve soiree

Okay, so I’m planning on getting dressed super fancy for New Year’s Eve this year.

Last year I wore a dress that fit me horribly.  It was way too large and the top kept falling down.

Good for the guests, bad for me.

This year I’ve planned ahead and will be getting my dress early.

Here are the two front runners:

 

Screen Shot 2015-11-13 at 10.07.54 AM Screen Shot 2015-11-13 at 10.08.14 AM

I’m really drawn to the blue, but the gold is stunning as well (so I got both).

I’m also a little bit addicted to THIS dress (because of the color):

9383_front

You can never go wrong in red, can you?  I just read that men are more attracted to women wearing red than in any other color because it symbolizes sexual readiness.

Ha!

Looks like I’ll have to go to SEVERAL parties -OR- have wardrobe changes!