I say I love you all the time.
To my family.
I have to say, as far as saying I love you goes I’m in for a penny, in for a pound.
I have no problem saying it when I feel it.
I’ve noticed however, that there are two times when people say I love you when you should be suspicious.
They say it during The Act.
Everyone knows hormones enhance the urge to bond and say whatever comes in our brain.
Sometimes it’s kink.
Sometimes it’s romance.
They say it when drunk.
I have experience with this too.
Both saying it to others and having others say it to me when we’re a few drinks past good taste.
I love EVERYBODY when I’m tipsy.
And lately, drunk men have been coming out of the woodwork to claim their affection for me.
One texted it over Kik, and don’t think I wasn’t amused by that.
And another said it during a party.
And the third guy just spouted it out one night, while drinking with his pals.
And you know, even when people say it and I know it’s fleeting, I still get a secret little thrill from it.
The first thing you need to know about my trip to Tahoe to see Elton John is that I am 41 years old. And although I didn’t realize it at the time I was buying the tickets, that makes me a little young for Elton’s demographic.
When I pointed this out to my sister, the man sitting in front of us said, “I heard that,” and gave us a scowl.
The second thing you need to know is that even BEFORE WE HAD DINNER at a nearby restaurant, my sister and I polished off a fifth of vodka. Yum yum! Thank you very much. We had a nice buzz going which is why we had two glasses of wine each with dinner.
Yeah, I know. You can see where this is headed already.
So we had dinner and drinks and then called a cab to take us to Harvey’s to see Elton John.
My sister had ordered two stadium seats for this event specifically and she told me, “Make sure we don’t forget them.”
Yes, I’m sure you can see where this is going.
While we each drank 4 Lagunitas Sumpin Sumpin beers, Elton John performed:
- Bitch (which Lisa and I agreed was Gavin’s theme song)
- Benny and the Jets
- Goodbye Norman Jean
- All the Young Girls
- Tiny Dancer
- Philadelphia Freedom
- Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
- Rocket Man
- I Guess That’s why They Call it the Blues
And then I got too drunk to actually write anything else down that makes an iota of sense to me now.
But THE BEST PART was how Lisa and I got home.
We actually were so drunk and turned around we couldn’t find our hotel a mere 4 blocks away so we HOPPED INTO A PRIVATE CAR WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER and my sister paid him $40 to drive us 4 blocks to our hotel.
BUT THERE’S MORE…. I had to go to the bathroom so bad, I peed a little in my pants when we were in his car.
I peed my pants.
What a night!