He called it “cute”

So I’m texting with Eric when he asks me if I’ve cleaned my car since Burning Man.

“I didn’t drive my truck to the playa,” I responded. “I flew in to Reno then took the Burner Express bus in.”

“Oh, what kind of truck do you have?” he asked.

“A 2005 Dodge Ram 1500 Hemi Sport,” I reply.

“Oh. A little truck,” he texts.

WHAT?!

Is he making fun of my truck?

So I ask him just that and tell him just how much I love my truck.

“I’m just saying it’s cute,” he tells me.

Great.

“This is not how you get on my good side,” I reply.

I’m amazed.

Why would a man who wants to go on a date with me talk down to me and make fun of my truck after I very plainly told him how much I love it?

Bad form!

And here I was all excited because he was a burner AND has a trailer he goes camping in.

He also asked me if I “showed my boobies” at Burning Man.

Really?

A grown man calling them “boobies?”

Strike one.

Strike two.

One more strike and he’s out!

 

* P.S. He struck out. He called his dick a “pee pee.” Seriously.

Screwed

Every time I get a little bored, I open up Tinder and let my finger do some swiping.

Usually I swipe left, but every now and then I swipe right.

On all the lumberjacks, naturally.

I force myself to sit and swipe until I find four men to swipe left on.

It’s just an arbitrary number I’ve assigned myself.

Four is just enough to ensure that I have at least one man respond.

Boredom alleviated!

Someone to flirt with.

Well, the other day I was swiping and I managed to swipe right on 4 profiles.

Mission accomplished.

Then ALL FOUR MEN STARTED TEXTING ME.

Jerry, Eric, Steve and Truman.

Now.

The problem with texting four men at the same time is that you lose track of details.

Like who said what.

For example, one of these men owns a natural stone restoration company.

Which one?

I have NO FRIGGING CLUE.

Also, one has two boys and another has two girls.

Which ones?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Since 99.9% of my Tinder matches fail to materialize into a date, this most likely will not be a problem for me.

But, should I actually land a date, it would be embarrassing to ask the same questions and let on that I CAN’T REMEMBER A SINGLE DETAIL FROM OUR EARLIER CONVERSATIONS.

That’s it.

I’m screwed.

Speed Dating TurnedON Style

I’m a little leery of speed dating.

And you’ll know why if you read my post on the speed dating fiasco (aka What Not to do When Speed Dating) I had a few months ago which I affectionately call “The Parade of Trolls.”

But more so than having no physical chemistry with each candidate, I also had no connecting dialogue with any of the men.

I’m talking about more than witty conversation, which is nice. I’m talking about sharing yourselves such that you can see and be seen by the other person. Establish a connection.

After the “Parade of Trolls” I swore of speed dating for good. And I was determined to make good on that promise until Eric came along and decided to throw TurnedON Speed Dating.

And the idea of a speed dating orchestrated by him just intrigues me.

Will there be Hot Seats? What do you want/you can have it games? Uncomfortable questions to answer?

You might be horrified at the idea of answering uncomfortable questions, but one thing is for sure – when the filters come off, you really see a person for who they are.

Warts and all.

And I find that sort of vulnerability very sexy.

Maybe this won’t work out. Maybe I’ll just be hanging out with all my OneTaste friends while we delightfully ask and answer awkward questions:

  • What turns you on?
  • What do you love about yourself?
  • What do you dislike about yourself?
  • What do you do to flirt with someone?
  • What do you do when you’re attracted to someone?
  • What do you try to hide from the world?
  • What do you wish more people noticed about you?

And so on…

Truthfully, I’m dying to see how honest I can be when faced with someone I’m attracted to. And don’t think it wouldn’t be special for me to meet someone I’m attracted to. When was the last time that happened?

So wish me luck as I brave the scary speed dating scene, this time with a little more optimism about having a positive experience.

Or else I’m done. I’m really done.