The most flattering picture of me in the known universe

As I creep closer to 50, I find myself struggling harder against the signs of aging.

Perhaps it’s all in vain, but I can’t help myself.

I don’t want to look old before my time.

I want to look young, and firm and smooth!

So I’m getting my melasma removed via a very irritating process known as the Spectra Laser Peel.

It feels like a little electrical ZAP! going on right next to your skin and it’s hella annoying.

And by annoying, I mean slap-your-esthetician-annoying.

I have to lay on my hands to keep myself from swatting her hands away.

In any case, they first put a black carbon solution on your face like a mask which they then ZAP! away.

The nurse left the room after applying the mask and out of curiosity, I snapped a picture of what I looked like in the carbon mask.

And, as it turns out, I took the most flattering picture of me in the known universe:

And I’m just wondering, perhaps if I put this as my online dating profile picture, I’ll get some decent dates?

Nothing is sexier than a woman laying on a table, with a carbon mask on her face, eh?