Slutty ex-boyfriend

I went out to dinner with an ex-boyfriend.

We’ve had a rocky road post break up so I wasn’t sure what to expect.

Nevertheless, he is pretty easy and I’m pretty horny so I prepared for fooling around, JUST IN CASE we went there.

You know what I mean by prep, don’t you?

Shave legs. Shave armpits.  Prepare the lady business.  Put on perfume.  Moisturize.  Brush and floss.

I even wore a fantastic pair of leopard print panties that exposed my backside.

That sort of stuff.

Stuff every woman does when she thinks she might get lucky.

I’m not opposed to ex sex.

Obviously.

I think there’s enough distance between us and our breakup that neither one of us would take it too far.

Just a dalliance, I think.

Something fun to do for an evening.

But as it turns out the most I got from the evening were two fantastic hugs and a lot of great conversation.

Which, in the end, was fine by me.

Slutty ex-boyfriend not so slutty, but still FANTASTIC company.

Poster child for monogamy

My friend Tom is the poster child for monogamy.

He fell in love with a woman.

They dated.

Then they shockingly broke up.

And now he’s alone without his soulmate there beside him.

By the time you reach my age (45), you’ve learned a thing or two about love.

I’ve learned that sometimes, love is not enough.

And relationships take effort and commitment.

The end result, of course, is that Tom is heartbroken.

And TOTALLY OFF THE MARKET for another relationship.

Which brings me to the point of this blog.

How many people out there are dating but have their heart still held fast by a former lover?

Everyone who has reached the age of 30, I would think.

By 30 you’ve fallen in love, at least once, and had time to actually work on a relationship.

And even though I can honestly say that my ex-boyfriend Jay holds that space in my heart, I can also say that I believe that there’s something better out there for me.

Yes, better than the best I’ve ever had.

Well, for one reason – I’m better.

Tom and I bonded over writing, music and mutually pining after our exes.

Unlike me, Tom thinks that love will pass him by unless his ex-girlfriend returns.

I however, am optimistic.

For Tom.

And for me.

Cyber stalking

Once upon a time I was very much in love with a man.

For nearly two years, we enjoyed each other’s company until one sad day when we parted ways.

At first it wasn’t amiable.

I was pissed that he brought a date to our mutual friend’s pirate-themed party a mere week and a half after our split.

But eventually we made peace and it’s a good thing too because I can now remember him fondly, without a trace of anger.

But the sadness?

Oh, there’s sadness.

The other day I was texting a friend who mentioned he saw Mother’s Day pics of his ex-girlfriend posted to a mutual friend’s Facebook page.

And he was pleased to see her looking happy and well.

I finished our conversation then got online and looked up my ex.

Still the same lovely man, of course.

But there was ONE PHOTO.

Just a photo of him, nothing special.

And oh, how my eyes DRANK UP THE SIGHT OF HIM.

And then I got a funny feeling in my chest.

I’m not even sure what it was.

Sadness?

Longing?

Maybe even a little wistfulness?

In any case, I immediately closed my app and swore up and down that I would never do that again.

And I won’t.

Until the next time.

 

Checking up

There’s this one boyfriend who I recall very fondly.

He was sweet and sexy and talented.

And boy did we have a love affair!

In any case, it’s been YEARS since we communicated and we are not friends on Facebook.

Then, just the other day, I happen to open up LinkedIN on my phone and voilá!

An update:

My ex-boyfriend just checked out my profile.

Now, I’m not going to pretend that I don’t think of him from time to time.

Because I do.

But enough time has passed that it’s not a steady presence in my mind.

I paused a moment.

Memories came back to me and I found myself smiling.

But I did not click on the link to see his profile.

I do not tempt myself with what I can not have.

Cyber Stalker

Five years ago, my boyfriend and I were pregnant.

Yes, indeed.

There I was, unmarried and pregnant.

He told his parents and my parents.

I had a miscarriage and he dumped me.

Turns out he was seeing someone new at work and they got married.

I have to say, if something like this is going to happen to anyone, this is the way for it to happen.

I got dumped for The One, not just another woman in a long line of women he dated.

And the miscarriage?

Well, it just wasn’t meant to be.

Now, I am relieved that I don’t have something tethering me to him for the rest of all eternity.

Two weeks ago, my sister told me that he had a child.

Good for him and his wife.

Now let’s talk about things that matter to me.

And I PROMPTLY forgot the whole thing.

Today something surprising happened.

His wife added me on LinkedIn.

I find this odd.

After all, we’ve never spoken and if she hadn’t taken his name then I’d have no idea who was adding me on LinkedIn.

I can only imagine that she was researching me on the internet and accidentally clicked on the button to add me as a friend instead of just closing the tab and minding her own business.

OOPS!

Who’s a cyber stalker?

Dear you… Love, Me

MichelleI was sick this past weekend with an unpleasant cold and I spent my days in bed watching movies. I rather unwisely chose to watch movies from the ROMANCE genre which had the lovely effect on me of making me sad, lonely, and horny.

I DO NOT recommend watching romance flicks when you’re single. They will only serve to make you feel like an American version of Bridget Jones without the lovely British accent and Mark Darcy waiting in the wings.

Instead of composing blog posts (like I should have been doing), I composed letters in my head to “The One Who Got Away” and “The Man I Can’t Forget.

Romantic letters.

Letters telling him how much I miss him and how I think of him every day.

How my boys still talk about him and ask how he’s doing.

Some boyfriends fade into the background once the relationship is over. Dave, is a perfect example of that. It becomes harder and harder to recall a single memory of the two of us together.

But others, oh other boyfriends take on a life of their own and become your fantasy when you are turned on. The person you compose letters to in your head when you are lonely. And the one whose name pinches your heart a little when you hear it.

Now during the holiday season, the memories are especially strong.

We both LOVED Christmas and had a spectacular time shopping and exploring the Bay Area during the holidays.

We once saw a whole army of Santa Clauses on a beach in Santa Cruz.

j-m1We had drinks at the Ritz-Carlton with his parents and took pictures in front of their ginormous Christmas tree while the bagpipes played in the distance.

I inundated him with gifts, particularly a handmade quilt with a special theme for him.

The letters I write always start out the same.

“Dear you…”

and they end with “Love, me.”