A diet I don’t hate

I’ve officially been on my diet for over a week.

In the first week I dropped 10.2 pounds and 4 inches.

That’s a lot of water weight and the equivalent of a little over a gallon of milk (which weighs approximately 8.6 pounds).

I’ve been exercising regularly and I must admit I’m feeling better than I have in a long time.

I’m energetic and I’m productive.

I don’t lay around my bedroom, watching movies like I used to.

I’m up and at it, making presents for friends (like a quilt), hiking in the hills, playing piano (learning Hey Jude) and practicing my Swedish (vad gör du).

I’ve even started going through my drawers and eliminating things that no longer serve a purpose in my life.

Like panties that are too large.

Or too small.

I eliminated a bunch of g-strings because whoah, do I have junk in my trunk.

No one needs to see that on display!

LOL, I’m more of a boyshort kinda gal anyway.

Pretty soon, I get to look forward to buying new clothes to fit my new body and I’m SO looking forward to that!

I literally can’t wait to reach a standard size and have regular clothes fit me.

It has occurred to me, now that I’m eating to recharge my body and not to entertain myself, that I was killing myself slowly with food.

Well not anymore.

I’ve learned portion size and how to eat small frequent meals that are healthy and nutritious to ward off hunger and stay hydrated.

The one thing I’m REALLY pleased about is that I’m not ever really hungry.

I HATE being hungry and I’m so relieved that on this plan I seldom experience hunger the way I have in the past.

No wonder everyone hates diets.

But this is no simple diet.

It’s a lifestyle reorganization plan.

And it’s working splendidly.


P.S. I plan to celebrate my journey with new boudoir photos.  Nothing like a non-food reward to motivate me and keep me engaged!

Diet and exercise

I’ve lost some weight with the help of an app called Lose It!.

But despite my success, it’s become clear to me that I need a more organized approach to weight loss.

My sister, who happens to be a nurse, has had a tremendous amount of success using a program called Optavia.

The Optavia program addresses health issues like hydration, sleep and motion, not just nutrition.

My coach is the greatest.

Not only is she a former Optavia client, she’s a Nurse Practitioner, so I can feel confident that I’m getting the best coaching out there.

I mean, how many people get coaching from a trained nurse, I ask you?

My sister started the program a few months ago and has lost over 50 pounds on this new wellness program.

I find that INSPIRING!

Today, I took all my WATCH measurements (waist, arm, thigh, chest and hips).

For those of you interested, my numbers came out to:

Waist = 43”

Arm = 18”

Thigh = 31”

Chest = 48”

Hips = 50”

As far as my weight goes, I don’t want to disclose that number to anyone except for my coach and perhaps my readers when I get closer to reaching my goal and want to report on my progress.

I’m scheduled to start the program on Monday, May 4th.

Let’s hope I’m as successful as my sister on this program and that I train myself into adopting a much healthier lifestyle.

Wish me luck!

Lemons to Lemonade

Sheltering at home is starting to take its toll on me.

I forget what day it is so easily.

And I CONSTANTLY question:  Am I hungry or just bored?

I find myself standing in front of the refrigerator more times than I care to admit wondering if I’m really hungry.

Besides taking on learning another language, I’ve decided to also try my hand at exercise.

In a fit of self-love and self-acceptance, I purged most of my exercise clothes from my wardrobe nearly a year ago so in order for me to workout, I need to get some appropriate workout attire.

I chose a lovely purple Karma tank top:

And some black leggings:

I love the sentiment of the KARMA tank top.

The recycle symbol reminds me that what goes around comes around although I guess in this day and age that can be a scary thought.

Anyway, pretty soon you will catch me taking afternoon walks in the hills of my town, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air and getting some much needed exercise.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.



There’s a wellness program at my work that assesses our fitness on an annual basis.

I skipped taking the assessment for the last two years but this year (since I get paid to do it), I took the assessment.

Lo and behold, I am in WORSE shape than I was in 2012.

Le duh.

Just so you know, it takes a tremendous amount of strength and character to get your health measured when you know it’s pretty bad.

I found out that in seven years I’ve gained 55 pounds.


How does that happen?

Well, I’ll tell you how:

  1. Eating too much food and beverages (specifically alcoholic beverages)
  2. Not working out enough
  3. Skipping daily weigh ins
  4. Living a sedentary lifestyle.

As it turns out, I’m only too aware that I can’t continue on this path.

Therefore, I’ve begun a fitness regimen.

I’m weighing myself EVERY DAY and going for walks on a regular basis.

I’m working myself up to 10,000 steps a day.

If you ask me what has changed between this post and my last post on dieting, I can tell you this – I AM EXERCISING.

And that’s new for me.

Usually I try to lose weight with only dieting.

But I see the importance of working out regularly now and I’m committed to being a dedicated dieter and adding exercise into my daily routine.

Truth be told, my cousin Jennifer has also inspired me to get fit.

She herself modified her diet and added exercise into her daily routine and now she looks even more fabulous than she always has.

She gives me a success story I can relate to.

Hopefully, in a few months I’ll be well on my way to better health, leaving my days of sloth and gluttony behind me.

Just watch me!

The first five

I’ve lost 5 pounds.

Normally, I wouldn’t blog about that but I’m trying to celebrate my milestones.

Five pounds.

Not too much to lose in 3 weeks, but just enough to encourage me to keep going.

How have I done it, you ask?

Eating healthy and exercise.

There’s no magic pill.

The first thing I did was stop drinking so much booze.

I allow myself one or two cocktails a week now, instead of one or two cocktails a day.

What a HUGE difference that makes.

I’ve also started eating more fruits and vegetables and have cut out most of the processed foods I used to eat.

I eat healthy snacks during the day, never letting myself get too hungry.

I’m still not great at drinking water instead of Diet Coke, but this is a work in progress so I’m not kicking myself in the ass for cracking open a cold Coke and downing it.

Oh, the other thing – I weight myself daily.

And I journal my food.

Basically, I’m doing all the stuff that’s supposed to be intuitive to losing weight but somehow is a huge challenge to overcome.

I’m not going to lie.

It’s not easy.

I miss being able to eat whatever I feel like.

But I know it’s time for change.

If for no other reason than I want to do a Spartan Race.

And I’m not in shape to do a Spartan Race right now.

So my reward for getting in shape?

A Spartan Race!

Fall down 7 times, get up 8

I’m almost ashamed to admit it but once again, I am working on losing weight.

Yes, I’ve tried before.

Yes, I’ve failed.

Many times, actually.

But you know what they say. . .

Fall down 7 times, get up 8.

So I’m getting up again and getting ready to work on it.


It’s made worse, of course, by the fact that my failures are so spectacularly catalogued by this website.

But I figure if I can admit to having a crush on a man I nicknamed “Coke Can Dan” then I can admit to something as personal as weight loss struggles.

This time around I’m trying Noom, a sort of guided weight loss program that sends me little reminders on my iPhone.

It also hooks me up with a counselor and a group of people trying to lose weight, just like me.

So far it hasn’t irritated the hell out of me, which is a good sign.

I’ve had a few realizations during the 5+ days I’ve been using the Noom app:

  1. I’m going to have to exercise.
  2. I’m going to need a pedometer to track my walking.
  3. I’m going to have to give up booze.

I’m already trying to stack the shelves in my cupboard with healthy alternative to carb-heavy foods like lasagna and cheese bread.

Cottage cheese, fresh fruit, hard boiled eggs, and grilled chicken.

I’ve also purchased meal prep containers so that I can spend a few hours packing my breakfasts and lunches for the week on Sunday evening and not have to think about food the rest of the time.

There’s no guarantee that I’ll be successful this time around, but I do feel like I’m becoming sensitive to the alternative (not making any changes to my diet and exercise routine) and I DON’T LIKE IT.

My long term goal, which might be a little aggressive, is to lose 20 pounds by November 21st.

My short term goal, which may be a little to easy, is to go for a walk tonight before the sun sets.

Hopefully I will achieve both.

Here’s my “BEFORE” photo (photo by Glow Girl taken at Burning Man, August 2018):


The universe is whispering to me.

First, my very first boyfriend ever launches a group for wellness and health.

It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while.

Especially when I read all his posts about workouts and nutrition.

I want to do another half marathon.

Okay, maybe I’ll start out with a 5K or 10K.

But still, fitness and health has been on my mind for some time.

Then, I meet a guy who has literally lost so much weight it could equal an entire person.


And he, of course, is encouraging me to get active by inviting me on a hike.


The thing you need to know is that in a fit of self-love and body-acceptance, I recycled all my workout clothes.

ALL of them.

So here I am, getting ready to go on a hike and the very first thing I have to do is BUY WORKOUT CLOTHES.

Pants, tank top, and hydration pack (THANK YOU AMAZON!).

And there you have it.

I am officially going on a 5 – 6 mile hike in the mountains.

You heard it here first.

Michelle is going to EXERCISE!

Inner Accountant

There is an accountant living inside my body.

She watches everything I eat and keeps track of all the calories.

A month ago, I’d lost 13 pounds.

As of today, I’ve lost 10 pounds.

I GAINED three.

Nothing gets past that SKINNY BITCH!

To be honest, I deserved worse.

I drank gin and tonics at Tejas’ house.

I scarfed down sushi and rice.

I even ate a SLIVER of a slice of pizza.

And that fucking accountant . . . well, she saw EVERYTHING!

The problem could be that I have no willpower.

Especially when my option is basically a liquid, tasteless diet.

EVERYTHING that is FOOD looks good.

You know your diet SUCKS when you fantasize about eating an apple.

Baby carrots.


But the problem could also be that I’m lazy.

I do not deserve a body like Heidi Klum because I do nothing to deserve it.

I shrink from exercise.

I get bored at the gym.

And swimming, which is a low impact exercise activity, requires me to:

  1. get wet
  2. dry my hair
  3. wear a bathing suit

None of which I am fond of.

So this fucking accountant is forcing me to change my ways.



And since I really like to TASTE my food, I’m going to go with EXERCISE.

That’s right!

You heard it here first.

Michelle is going to start going to walks at lunchtime and on lazy weekends.


If she really wants something to do, she should balance my checkbook.

Now there’s an area of my life that is OUT OF CONTROL.

Go for it, you SKINNY BITCH!

White Cloud

michelleSo I had an assignment from my Life Coach to write an I Am statement and basically describe myself as clearly as possible. So I wrote it.

It contained some good stuff, but it also contained things like bitch, irresponsible, and snobby.

As a comparison, I asked my friends and family to use words to describe me in a post on Facebook and I got a flush of responses.

All beautiful, poignant words that I would LOVE to describe myself as.

Words like white cloud, adventurous, strong, loving, gentle, kind, and empowered. For the whole list, see below:

  • Goddess
  • Generous
  • Creative
  • White Cloud
  • Gorgeous
  • Lovely
  • Sweet
  • Michelle
  • Vivacious
  • Sexy
  • Embodied
  • Secure
  • Self-assured
  • Seductive
  • Sparkly
  • Passionate
  • Loving
  • Loves to explore new things
  • Great self-esteem
  • Expressive
  • Compassionate
  • Caring
  • Amazing
  • Enchanting
  • Alluring
  • Breathtaking
  • Protective
  • Authentic
  • Paramount
  • Compassionate
  • Empathetic
  • Damn fine burner
  • Conscientious
  • Accepting of others
  • Rush
  • Tenacious
  • Giving
  • Adventurous
  • Goddess
  • Daring
  • Adventurous
  • Vibrant
  • Bold
  • Vulnerable
  • Compassionate
  • Authentic
  • Sexy
  • Smart
  • Stellar
  • Fearless
  • Empowered

What I learned from this exercise is that no one is harder on me than I am on myself. And perhaps, just maybe, I’m actually much closer to being the person who I want to be than I think.

I’ve always wanted to be brave, and strong, and adventurous.  And it appears that I am more like that than I previously thought.

And who doesn’t want to be described as breathtaking, alluring, enchanting, and gorgeous?

So take a minute before you criticize yourself and think of all the wonderful qualities that you possess.

Then maybe, like me, you can pause for a moment in your self-criticism and feel immensely, totally, in awe with yourself.

Chew something!

I am on a diet.

I need to be on a diet because I’m on medication that causes weight gain.

Frowny face.

My weight wouldn’t be a problem if only I’d exercise more.

But I’m basically a lazy woman who hates to sweat.

I also hate it when I’m out of breath.

And my heart rate soars to 180+ when I work out WHICH I CAN’T SUSTAIN.

I blame my mother for my food issues.

She told me that as an infant she had to stuff the bottle in my face right after she shoveled food in it or I’d scream.

I can totally see this behavior in me as an adult – shoveling in food followed by a big swig of booze.

Not healthy.

Not a good habit to develop.

Needless to say, I’ve given up drinking as much as I used to in the past.

And for this my liver THANKS ME!

It’s been two days and I’ve lost 4 pounds.

Which isn’t THAT big a deal because basically I can SNEEZE and lose 4 pounds.

But it’s progress in the right direction.

So wish me luck and cross your fingers hoping I’ll be successful on this liquid milkshake diet I’m on.

Lord knows how much I’m craving to CHEW SOMETHING!


P.S. I totally cheated last night when I licked a serving spoon full of peanut butter clean. . .