Worried

Sorry for the lack of posts recently.

Literally NOTHING has been going on so there’s been nothing to write about.

No parties.

No costumes.

No dates.

Just a whole lot of sitting at home and watching old episodes of The Blacklist and No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain.

I must admit, I liked No Reservations more before Tony died.

Now it just reminds me of a brilliant life cut short by suicide.

And speaking of brilliant lives cut short, the deaths of Naya Rivera from Glee and Kelly Preston have saddened me.

It feels like the world has gone a little lopsided and I miss the good old days before death was the news du jour.

Now you know why I haven’t been blogging.

I’m a little depressed lately.

There’s been little to cheer me up.

And why write and infect others with my pessimism and fear?

I’ll tell you what frightens me the most.

The idea of opening up schools BEFORE there’s a cure or a vaccine for Covid-19.

I DESPERATELY need a project to work on so I’m not left ruminating on all the things I’m worried about right now.

The only good news coming out of all this is that my family is well (so far).

We are all getting along (so far).

And pretty soon we will get to celebrate Duncan’s 21st birthday.

I’m holding on to the little things to cheer myself up.

It’s not perfect, but it’s something.

Floating into the sky

balloonsOMG! I DID IT!

Why it was easier for me to jump out of an airplane at 12,000 feet and run unprotected with 2 dozen stampeding bulls, I will never know.

But I finally did it.

I bought my champagne balloon flight from Sonoma Valley Balloons.

I’m still totally FREAKED out about it but I managed to finally click the “Purchase” button and buy my Groupon.

What’s nice is that I have family in the Sonoma area, so I can maybe make a weekend of this and visit my birthfamily in Santa Rosa.

I don’t get to see them enough.

It would be nice to play with my nephews who I haven’t seen in over a year.

And after all that family time, well I’ll just take myself down to the local hot air balloon airport and LAUNCH myself into the sky.

Remarkably, I’ve found something freakier than floating untethered into the cosmos.

What if I have to tell the pilot how much I weigh?

Let’s hope he’s not cute because if he is, I just may lie.

Kidding!

That would be dangerous, right?

Outside my Comfort Zone

It’s no secret I want to dive with Great White Sharks.

In a cage, of course.

What Is a secret is my intense fear of drowning.

You’d think that I, being surrounded by Great White Sharks, would be afraid of all those razor sharp teeth and their prehistoric predatory skills.

But no, you’d be wrong.

What I’m truly afraid of is that the tether from the boat to the cage snapping and me sinking into the dark abyss that lies in Monterey Bay, just like Richard Dreyfuss did in “Jaws.” I’d be faced with the decision to drown or take my chances with the sharks.

Oh, I’d take my chances with the sharks, but that brings up a second fear of mine – SHARKS!

Sharks have rows of razor sharp teeth and hunting skills honed over the millennia.

I’ve heard it said that all the magic happens outside your comfort zone and I have to agree.

Great White Shark diving is the epitome of being outside my comfort zone.

Way outside.

Great White Shark Diving

aka How Michelle Plans to Spend Part of Her 2013 Tax Refund.

As you all know, I will be signing up to dive with Great White Sharks in the fall when the seal breeding season in the Farallons goes into full swing.

I’m actually very nervous about this activity. More than running with the bulls. More than skydiving.

It’s not because I get sea sickness in a boat. It’s not because I’m scared of the shark.

It’s because I’m scared of drowning.

In my mind, I’ve created a worst-case-scenario where the tether holding the cage to the boat gets severed and I sink into the depths, surrounded by man-eating sharks.

Am I still going to do it?

You bet.

If I let fear stop me I never would have skydived, ran with the bulls, or had boudoir photos taken.

I’ll just have to get over my fear and brave the murky cold waters of the Farallons to greet these primordial beasts.

Wish me luck!

The one where I agree to get naked (almost)

This quote has been on my mind lately:

imageIt’s been on my mind because I tend to stay in my comfort zone and not challenge myself.

Well, ENOUGH OF THAT!

You’ll never believe what I just did…

… I signed up for a boudoir photography session through Celebrate Your Sexy in San Jose,  CA.

Why?

Because posing for pictures in tiny lingerie in front of strangers scares the sh*t out of me. (I suspect it’ll also make for great blogging.)

So I might as well do it, right?

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

image