SoulFire 2016: The Heat Stroke Chronicles

white witch michelleMaybe it was just me.

Maybe everyone else did just fine.

But I managed to get myself good and overheated as well as dehydrated at SoulFire TWO DAYS IN A ROW!

Tejas and I arrived on Friday at 10 am and set up camp in the heat. Once camp was set up we drank rum and cokes until I started to worry that I wasn’t getting enough liquid so I drank 3 diet cokes.

Just a word of advice: Diet Coke DOES NOT PREVENT DEHYDRATION.

No it does not.

Because at about 9 pm after battling a dehydration headache for about two hours, I gave up and went to bed with 3 Tylenol RIGHT WHEN THINGS WERE GETTING GOOD!

I laid there, freezing cold, wanting a bed partner to snuggle with while I recovered.

But no, there were no bed partners to be found.

I laid in bed until about 1 am, then got up to party only to find that the party was winding down.

So back to bed.

Try again another day.

Cue Saturday.

I’m drinking TONS of coconut water to keep me hydrated and yet with the 95 degree heat I still manage to overheat.

Dante took me to the Restaurant to sit in air conditioning and cool down.

I was dizzy walking up the hill to the Restaurant (even though I was wearing nothing but pink ruffled panties and a crochet bikini fringe top).

There was an art exhibit going on in the Restaurant and I found that if I positioned myself just right I could stare at a picture of a dolphin while the vent blew cold air up my butt.

It was amazing!

So, lessons learned:

Diet Coke is not the same as water

Coconut juice will not prevent overheating

Do what you need to take care of yourself

However, if you fuck up (like me) then friends are so helpful when you’re not feeling well.

Love to Tejas for giving me Tylenol and love to Dante for cooling me down.

michelle and tejas

Drama! Oy!

I went to Summer Country music festival in the Sonoma County Fairgrounds this past weekend. And I must say, for not being a country music fan, I had a GREAT TIME.

My friend Kimberly WON the tickets on the radio ALONG WITH TWO NIGHTS STAY IN THE KITSCHY FLAMINGO HOTEL.

We had a blast.

You know how when you go to concerts there’s always some crazy guy or girl dancing like a maniac?

Well, I’m usually the person sitting RIGHT BEHIND that person.

So my entire view of the concert is distracted by the WILD GYRATIONS of the crazy dancer.

Not kidding.

This concert, I had a different experience.

I sat behind the couple breaking up.

And oh how I longed for the crazy dancer.

He was stoic. She was crying. They were arguing with each other in very loud voices so they could be heard over the music.

It was SO PAINFUL to watch.

Apparently, his ex girlfriend has been spending the night and he’s been cheating on her.

But he wants to marry her not the ex girlfriend.

It was all very dramatic.

I could’ve totally done WITHOUT IT!

It spoiled the music to have them yelling at each other right in front of me.

I thought of Burning Man, where nothing dramatic ever happens (cough) and I wanted to say to this couple, “My camp at Burning Man is a NO DRAMA camp and YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO CAMP WITH US!”

But that would of course go against the spirit of radical inclusion, so I said nothing.

Finally, they got up and left – with him trying to hold her hand and her yanking her hand out of his reach.

Drama!

Oy!

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La Tomatina

tomatinaOnce upon a time, I imagined that I would like to experience La Tomatina in Bunol, Spain.

But rather than going all the way to Spain, I chose to participate in the Tomato Royale at the Alameda County Fairgrounds in Pleasanton.

Exotic, I know.

I was dating Luke at the time and he and I hooked up with two guys who in turn hooked up with two girls and we drank beer non-stop until just a few minutes before tomato throwing time.

Then, the two guys pushed their way to the front of the gates and we followed.  We were some of the first people to hit those tomatoes and discover that. . .

. . . THEY WERE ROTTEN.

Yeah, we were standing in a pile of hot, stinking, rotting tomatoes.

tomatoesI grabbed a handful, crushed them, and launched them at my boyfriend.

He proceeded to drip them over my head.

I reminded myself to keep my mouth closed.

Ew!  Yuck!

Remarkably, if the tomatoes weren’t crushed, they were rather hard and it felt like getting hit in the head with a baseball.

Ouch!

I quickly tired of the sport and decided to go clean up with a hose.

Best part of the day:  Taking a shower outdoors with that hose.

2nd best part of the day:  getting asked by the two guys and two girls if we wanted to “hook up” with them in their hotel room.

Orgy!

We said no.  But it was a nice invite!

tomatina2

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The one where she lands a date in less than an hour

I was all set to go to Holi with Jeep.

Me: Don’t forget, the festival is tomorrow. Do you think you could be at my place at 11 AM?

Jeep: Good morning….. I can’t wait to hang out with you…. 🙂

Jeep: Really excited.

And he wasn’t the only excited one. I was excited to go to Holi too. I was looking forward to it.

Then at 8 am the morning of the festival, Jeep cancelled.

Jeep: Good morning Michelle… I had one of the guys no call no show… I got called into work this morning so I’m not going to be able to go with you dammit… ugh.

So I scrambled to try and find a “date” to go to Holi with me. And who I found was the Beekeeper – a 50-something-ish professor who raises bees and teaches Aero/Astro in the Bay Area.

He was a lot of fun, and a really good sport for someone who was about to get covered in paint…

Him: Sounds like fun. I’ll need to cut out around 3 – 3:30. If that’s not a problem, I happily will join you.

Me: You will need to cut out earlier and shower.

Him: Shower?

Me: Lol… the paint…

Him: Paint? What kind of a festival is this?

Me: Like a color run but without the running. It’s a Hindu festival of spring.

And indeed, it was a spectacular festival. The beekeeper was a total gentleman and sprinkled color on me instead of throwing fistfuls of it in my face, like my boys do. We danced, we ate tasty Indian food, and had an all-around great time.

Here’s a BEFORE pic:

And here’s an AFTER pic: