Mommy

I’ve been waiting for the right moment to tell this story.

It’s the story of me and someone I dated who had an infantilism fetish.

Now the first thing you should know is that I don’t knock anyone’s fetish.

And because of that, I thought well hey, maybe I can do this.

After all, I’ve got the muffins for it.

But as it turns out, no.

I do not have the composition necessary to engage in these activities.

For one, the milk has long since dried up and I’m not anxious to get it back.

I felt like a big lactating cow when I was nursing my kids.

Not sexy.

And another thing – when someone calls me “mommy” I think of my babies which is great when you’re raising kids but awful when you’re trying to get your groove on.

I politely asked him to me called “Mimi” instead of “mommy” but that didn’t cut it with this guy.

My foray into infantilism lasted all of one date.

When it’s not for you, it’s clear that IT’S NOT FOR YOU.

And that’s when I realized I was looking for something different.

Perhaps a man who doesn’t sign all his text messages with the milk bottle and water droplet emoji.

Now, you may think of this as a setback but every time I clarify one more thing I’m not looking for, and I’m confident it’s not for me, well that just puts me one step closer to knowing what I DO want.

So I can confidently say I know one more thing about myself.

I’ll get to where I need to be by process of elimination.

Mommy

Once upon a time, I dated a guy with a fetish.

Now, there are lots of fetishes out there.

Leather fetish.

Foot fetish.

Latex fetish.

Shoe fetish.

And my personal favorite:  black vinyl fetish.

But I’ve never come across anyone with an infant fetish.

Lactation.

Talking like a baby.

The whole shebang.

I’m not adverse to catering to someone’s fetish.

After all, I too have certain things that I like.

But believe me, I had an interesting time catering to this guy’s fetish.

It’s definitely NOT MY THING and all I can say about it is this:

For anyone who actually IS a mom, being called “Mommy” brings back memories of my two young kids and all the work it took me to raise them into the lovely human beings they are now.

I’m not sure that’s the association I need in order to effectively carry out his fantasy.

Also, and I’m just putting this out there, I don’t really want to be REMINDED of babies and young kids while I’m getting some action.

It seems inappropriate to the nth degree.

So I went ahead and role played but in the end, I think I can safely say that this is a fetish I do not possess and will not partake of in the future.

I’m a mom to two wonderful teenagers, not a mommy to a grown man.

Fireman Fetish

I have a “friend.”

We’ve never met in person but somehow we wound up as Facebook friends.

I LOVE being his FB friend on account of he is very handsome AND a paramedic fireman.

Occasionally he sends me photos of him in his fireman gear and he always looks good enough to eat.

Have you ever met a fireman that wasn’t sexy?

He certainly brings up all sorts of “resuscitation” fantasies – from having to cut off my blouse to listen to my heartbeat to more deviously dark internal examinations.

Yes.

I know.

I’m incorrigible.

But I can’t help it.

He’s sexy like his life depends on it.

And I am a single, red-blooded American woman with a HUGE fireman fetish.

Everyone does that stuff, right?

I wasn’t out there looking for a new fetish.

My latex, vinyl and neoprene fetishes were just fine for me.

And then it happened.

I was browsing Instagram and I came across cali_slime.

And O. M. G.

I was mesmerized.

Apparently, watching a woman’s hand poke, fold, and squeeze slime in all sorts of different shades and transparencies is really entertaining for me.

I totally LOVED it.

I instantly followed cali_slime.

And then I BINGE WATCHED their videos.

Shudder.

It.

Was.

Awesome.

As if I need to add another freaky thing I do to my “Weird Things Michelle Does List.”

It comes right after ‘filter all the pulp out of my juice.’

And right before ‘make the sign of the cross every time I pass road kill.’

Everyone does that stuff, right?

Toe sucking. It ain’t bad.

toeOne of the funny things about having a blog is getting to see the search terms people put into their browser that land them on one of my pages.

Apparently I’m popular among toe suckers, though I’m not sure why.

The sum total of my experience with toe sucking was when the guy I was dating at the time decided to suck on my toes.

All I can say about toe sucking is:

It sounds weird but it’s NOT THAT BAD.

Actually I LIKED it.

Maybe I liked it because of what the guy did RIGHT BEFORE he sucked my toes (catch my drift?).

Maybe I liked it because it felt so soft and sensitive.

Either way, I NEVER would have let him do it had I known what he was planning on doing.

I normally am WAY TOO SELF-CONSCIOUS about what I taste/smell/feel like.

But he managed to sneak it in and so I can say with conviction:

TOE SUCKING IS NOT THAT BAD.

The other funny thing about toe sucking is that I occasionally get google alerts for toe sucking – mostly Craigslist personal ads from men looking for women who will let then suck their toes.

I didn’t realize that THIS WAS A THING.

I’m sure writing this post about it is going to even further put me on the map for people with toe sucking fetishes, but so be it.

I wouldn’t normally ask for it, but if someone wants to do it, I’m certainly not going to stop them.

Toe sucking.

It ain’t bad.

Fetish

black-vinyl-pvc-wet-look-corset-10581-pIt’s not like it’s rocket science.

It’s a fucking corset for fuck’s sake. I should be able to get in and out of one unassisted.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that I am woefully bad at shimmying in and out of corsets.

First of all, you have to “let out” the laces in order to get into it.

Then you have to tighten the laces until you achieve the proper exaggerated hourglass figure, or you stop breathing… whichever happens first.

You spend anywhere from a few hours to a whole day in the corset, enjoying the feeling of lightheadedness whilst you simultaneously feel like you’re close to passing out at any moment.

This is what a corset feels like.

By the time it’s time to take off the corset, you are more than ready to get out of it. Torture device!

I can’t slip out of a corset fast enough. My whole body sighs with relief when it’s off.

AND THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS BLOG is that I have to figure out a way to get in an out of a very naughty corset all by myself, with no help from anyone.

It’s a black vinyl PVC under-the-bust corset which I am wearing (with a black bra) to a fetish themed birthday party this weekend.

Because my fetish is, surprisingly, black vinyl*.

I love it.

No, I LOVE it.

I’d roll naked in yards of it if I could.

I bought my first black vinyl PVC piece on a lark, because it was cheaper than genuine leather and looked nicer than faux leather.

Imagine my surprise when I touched its soft, smooth, shiny skin and fell instantly in love.

So here I am, wondering how in the world I’m going to get into and out of my corset such that I can enjoy my fetish publicly at the party.

I’m quite excited by it, even though it’s challenging me.

That’s why it’s called a fetish folks.

 

*P.S.  My other fetish is neoprene.  You should see what wetsuits do to me!

Toe Sucking 101

sucking2I’m intrigued by toe sucking, though my experience with it is minimal but pleasurable.  Drew went down on me in a hotel room and then in the throes of ecstasy, he turned his attention to my feet and sucked my toes.  Prolonged my pleasure, to say the least.

I’m amazed that for some men, lust for beautiful feet goes beyond a potent stare: it involves some succulent toe-sucking, to enhance foreplay and to feed their insatiable foot fetish.

But what exactly is involved with toe sucking? I googled it to find out and was redirected to a lesbian foot worship website.  Uh… not exactly what I was looking for.

According to Urban Dictionary, toe sucking happens when someone has “a Foot Fetish, usually by males but females also. It is where the person sucks on someones toes and tickles it with their tongue. The big toe is usually the one in which this act takes place but some go all the way licking and sucking all five toes.  Women on the receiving end masturbate while their toes are sucked, giving them more sexual pleasure.”

Wow.  Is it that simple?  I decided to ask Mystery Man, a confessed toe sucker, about the practice.  Do you suck just the big toe or all of them?  Do you lick or suck?  And what do you do with the rest of the foot.

Mystery man was very clear that it’s not something he does on a regular basis, but it is something he has done.  When he does it, it’s during intercourse (must be legs over the shoulder position or something like that).  He says he sucks one or two toes, depending on the size of her foot.  And he basically sucks on her toes while massaging her foot.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how toe sucking is done.  Not exactly the same way mine was done, but I’m sure very pleasurable all the same.

sucking sucking 3