This kiss

My first kiss was with Don, at a high school dance my freshman year, out on the dance floor.

He went in for a kiss then slipped me the tongue and I was like, “WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS?!”

It shocked me and surprised me.

I was not expecting a kiss.

My fist REAL kiss I got from my ex-boyfriend in high school.

He leaned me up against his mustang and kissed me until my knees melted and he had to prop me up against his car.

It was THAT good.

That kiss has set the bar for kissing for most of my adult life.

Until recently.

I was sitting in a hot tub at my friends’ house when it happened.

A woman planted a kiss on me that made me TOTALLY RETHINK HOW I KISS.

It was wild.


Soft yet demanding.

Filled with passion.

I decided right then and there that this kiss was going to change how I kiss men in the future.

Now, I emulate that kiss over and over again when I’m making out with somebody.

I’m 44 years old, I have two kids, and I’m still learning the nuances of passion.

Long live lifelong learning!

Kisses that go nowhere

My date with Austin was in a word, astonishing.

For all intents and purposes, it was a pretty laid back date.  We went for a long drive in the woods and shared a few beers at a rest stop followed by some fun at his place.

The drive up Mt. Hamilton is scenic and beautiful, filled with all sorts of twists and turns to keep you engaged with the driving experience.

Austin drove and I relaxed in the passenger seat, enjoying the view both inside and outside the car.  When I said Austin is easy on the eyes, I wasn’t joking.  We chatted about all varieties of topics all the way to The Junction where we stopped to get beers.

We watched the sun set over Mt Hamilton then jumped in Austin’s car to watch the sunset from the Observatory.  It was stunning, crimson, purple and gold.  I quoted a favorite poem of mine by Simon Le Bon:

Eastern jangles, flashes, jungles,
All purple, gold, and red.
A crimson flag to herald the dawn,
And from the center of the liquid flame steps Man.

Austin gave me two sunsets that night.  Glorious.

What a gift he gave me taking me on that drive.  But what was even better was going back to Austin’s place to hang out after.

I told Austin he was very cryptic about his interest in me and he asked incredulously, “How is that possible?”

“Well, for a guy who hasn’t even kissed a girl…” I began.  But that’s as far as I got.

His soft, pliant lips met mine in a kiss I can only describe as breathtaking.

It was a kiss that went nowhere, that existed solely for the purpose of enjoying the moment and awakening great desire.

  • It lingered between us, turning me on and making me want more.
  • It teased, starting out soft and sweet and then deepening into something else.
  • It tempted me with slow, burning sensuality.

For a woman who is used to being kissed with Kisses that Go Somewhere, getting a Kiss that Goes Nowhere was a startling and refreshing change.

Of course from that moment on, I could think of nothing except kissing him more.  I wanted to devour him and his sensual kisses.  I wanted to hold him and drink deeply of the sensuality that he possessed.

His temporary vow of celibacy dictated that we not go any further than kissing.  Which made it difficult for me to speak.  I was all up in my head thinking about all the delicious things I wanted to do with him.  I listened to Austin talk about previous relationships, the state of things in Colorado, and the Stieg Larsson trilogy and I could not keep anything more than the last three words he said straight in my head.  Austin found this immensely amusing.  He was laughing right and left at me.

I was up in my head thinking about all the delicious things I wanted to do with him:

Stroke his chest
Touch his hair
Kiss him A LOT MORE
And various other X-rated activities

Instead I rather awkwardly kept my hands to myself, making a valiant attempt to not tempt Austin to break his vow but also feeling like a fraud for not expressing myself properly.  When you desire someone as much as I desire Austin, you just want to physically manifest those desires.

Austin asked me to spend the night and for a girl with a “no spending the night until…” rule, I sure was tempted to say yes.

Wake up next to Austin’s handsome face?  Yes.
Wake up wrapped in Austin’s arms?  Yes.
Wake up to morning coffee with Austin?  Yes.
Wake up and make love with Austin in the morning?  Yes.

Instead I went home to my own comfy bed, and awoke 4 hours later thinking about Austin.  So I texted him:

Me:  Can’t sleep.  Thinking of kissing you…

Him:  They were some nice kisses.  Sleepy…

Me:  To bad we didn’t lie on your bed.  I find myself making up fantasies about that.

Him:  We could have…

Me:  Killing me.

Me:  Falling asleep  Wish you were next to me.

Him:  Sleep well. Dream well. (Me too)

And there you have it… my extraordinary date with an extraordinary man requiring me to use all my strength and will power.

And the kisses that go nowhere… well they will live on in my head and my heart.  And I will most certainly enjoy getting more of them from Austin.

Stop. My. Heart.

First kiss

Naley-s-first-kiss-haley-james-scott-10987874-960-640My very first kiss happened at the Winter Ball my sophomore year in high school. Dan took me to the dance. He was a charismatic mixed race young man – half black and half white. He wore a dark gray suit – jacket off – with a skinny Miami Vice tie. I wore a dress of black velvet and shimmery silver georgette. Hello 1988! My friend Nikki convinced me to go with Dan. He was her friend. And I later found out he had a huge crush on me when I found a stash of fantasy letters he sent to Nikki which starred him and I in what I can only describe as pornographic scenarios.

“She’s Like The Wind” started to play over the loudspeakers. Dan and I moved to the dance floor and began an awkward slow dance. He pulled me closer. I felt like I was rubbing up against my brother. I tried to put some distance between our bodies.

I pulled back from him and that’s when he made his move. He kissed me. Being young, sheltered, and naive, I thought it would be a dry kiss on the lips. But before I knew it, there was a tongue in my mouth.

I had no idea what to do with it, nor the inclination to find out. I’ve always described my first kiss as “like kissing my brother.” Horrible. Awkward. Wrong.

Later on, I would have much better experiences with kisses. But this first kiss…. well, it took me a while to get over it.

And Dan? Well he became a sex therapist. I nearly passed out when I heard the news.

I thought back to all those pornographic letters and figured it was probably the perfect career choice for Dan.