When you start hitting on friends

He’s single.

I’m single.

We’ve known each other for decades.

He’s a decent guy.

I’m a decent (if slightly naughty) gal.

So when I found out he’s single, I took a leap of faith.

You see, the guys I meet online who are good guys are few and far between.

The Swede and basically NO ONE ELSE.

So even though I’ve been friends FOREVER with this guy I thought, “Why not?”

So I told him when he’s in a good place for dating, we should go on a date.

I suspect he will not take me up on my offer.

And that’s okay.

Going from vanilla relationships to me is like switching from the kiddie roller coaster to the Sky Scream – it’s a real mind fuck and you just may puke but it’s also quite exhilarating!

So I put it out there in the universe.

And even if he isn’t the man for me, someone decent will come along.

I’m keeping my eyeballs peeled for him.

Community

70,000 lucky people get to go to Burning Man every year.

It means different things to different people.

This year, Burning Man for me was all about community and self-care.

And flirting.

But I digress.

I say it was all about community because I spent a lot of time around camp due to the extreme heat.

I didn’t want to fry and dehydrate out in the desert sun.

So I really got to know my camp mates, especially since we had a communal area that was heavily utilized by all.

My burn was also about self-care.

About knowing what was good for me and what was bad and choosing to act in accordance with what was right for me.

I showered when I needed to shower.  I slept when I needed to sleep.  I flirted when I wanted to flirt.  And I hugged other people to excess.

So here are some of my favorite photos from Burning Man which are special to me not because they feature the amazing art of Burning Man, but because they feature some of my favorite people out there on the playa.

Still lusting after the good ones

I have roughly 500 friends on Facebook.

Yesterday, as an experiment, I counted how many of my Facebook friends were ex-lovers.

Out of 500, there were 17.

17 ex-lovers – 16 men and 1 woman.

Hey, I had an experimental phase.

No current lovers, mind you.

As I was making my way through the list of friends, I had to do a double take a few times and ask myself, “Did we sleep together?”

Sometimes the answer was “No, we just OMed.”

There are nearly 50 men on Facebook who I OMed with.

Other times, the answer was, “No, we just fooled around a bit but no sex.”

Like with my friend “Nathan” who I used to watch porn with and let him grope me.

And even still, the answer was occasionally, “No, but I REALLY wanted to.”

And there are SEVERAL men who fall into that category.

If I counted all the people who I’ve had some sort of sexual activity with, I’m sure my number would jump in leaps and bounds.

Truthfully, I was surprised there were that many ex-lovers on my Facebook page.

Historically, I’m not the best at keeping in touch with past partners.

I guess Facebook is heralding in the age of long term friendships with exes.

I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

It’s actually quite nice to see them doing well and having a good time.

And of course, still lusting after the good ones!

A Steady Diet of Kisses

When you’ve been single for a while, flirting comes as easily as breathing.

Breathe in.

Plant a kiss on your favorite single guy.

Breathe out.

So imagine me at unSCruz, trying to not flirt because I was there with The Swede.

All those delicious men who flirt back with me and make me feel sexy and appealing. . .

. . .they were off limits.

I’ve gotten in the habit of kissing as many people as possible.

It’s a hard habit to break and fortunately, given that The Swede has a more European view of things, I didn’t have to.

I went around kissing all my friends – male, female, trans, bi, gay, furry – you name it, I was kissing it.

Of course, the best kisser in the whole bunch was The Swede.

He would grab me and kiss me, just because.

Or say something provocative and then plant one on me.

For someone who is usually starving for affection, I got a steady diet of it during unSCruz.

So much so that I know it’s going to be hard for me to go without it.

The Swede leaves for Sweden today.

And I am going to miss him.

 

 

Friends at Burning Man

My first year at Burning Man was a solitary experience.

For the most part, I felt like I was struggling to do things with anyone but myself.

Oh sure, I got to do a few things with friends – like see the Man with Dante, spend an evening getting altered with two good friends, and touring the deep playa with Tejas, but overall, I was alone.

It’s not my favorite thing in the world. Given the fact that I live with 4 other people, I am by nature a very social creature.

My second year at Burning Man went better.

I hung with Marina, Tejas, and sometimes Marina AND Tejas, which if you know them you know is an accomplishment.

Oil and water.

It was a MUCH better year for me, activity-wise.

We made scarves, tried on clothes at the clothing exchange, rode out to the trash fence, saw INCREDIBLE art, and took saunas.

Here I am, staring at Year 3 at Burning Man and I realized one thing.

I trust my friend Tejas completely.

I trust him that if we go out on the playa together, unless I explicitly ask to be left alone, he will stay with me until we’re both ready to leave.

No need to worry about getting left behind.

Or being alone again.

And of course, this year Yvonne is going with Tejas.

Another magical soul I trust completely.

And I can’t help but think how lucky I am to have them as friends to go to the playa with.

Burning Man just keeps getting better.

I’m okay with that

For the first time in a long time, I realize I like somebody.

Just a friend I know casually though Burning Man, but nevertheless, I like him.

Specifically, he has this really nice calming effect on me.

Not that I’m high strung or anything, but it’s nice to be around somebody who makes you relax, take a deep breath, and be yourself.

Regrettably, his interest in me is likely non existent.

Par for the course with me.

I finally meet a decent single man and he isn’t the least bit interested in me as anything more than a friend.

Now, I could look at this as a failure.

As evidence that once again the universe is conspiring against me.

As proof that decent men aren’t interested in me and all I get are the rejects.

I could, but I won’t.

You see, my life is actually pretty damn nice.

And this guy, while not in the market for a romance with me, is still a nice friend whose company I enjoy.

AND I like to think of this as evidence that I CAN be attracted to nice, single guys not just the rotten ones.

So maybe it’s not a love match.

I’m okay with that.

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When you blog

write2-copyIt’s funny.

At least *I* think it’s funny.

You see, I’m a blogger so everything I experience is an opportunity to write something about it:

  • Kissing ex boyfriends in RVs at SoulFire.
  • Taking a dip in the hot tubs with men of questionable repute.
  • Peeing my pants in a onesie costume because I couldn’t get it off in time.
  • Puking down the side of Krunch’s car post-party.

It’s all fodder for the blog. Even the stuff that makes me look like a nut case.

Sometimes I wonder how my friends and family REALLY feel about this blog.

Oh, of course to my face they like it and encourage me to write.

But really, deep down, how do they feel about being WRITTEN ABOUT and READING THE INTIMATE DETAILS OF MY LIFE.

There’s a saying among us writers:

If a writer falls in love with you, you never die.

write1There’s another saying though and it goes something like this:

Don’t piss off a writer. We’ll DESCRIBE you.

IMG_9378Truthfully, I don’t get mad very often so there’s infrequent roasting of people on my blog.

[Sorry, mom. Don’t read this part.]

The last good roast was The Israeli who liked facials but got it in my eye and all over my hair thereby pissing me off.

I had SPECIFICALLY TOLD HIM NOT TO GET IT IN MY HAIR!

Turns out, there are some sexual activities I don’t like.

And some Israelis.

But ENOUGH about him.

I just want to publically thank all my friends and family who put up with me and this tacky blog – whether I’ve given you a nickname or not.

Every time I write about my friends and family, I do it with love and respect and of course a HUGE dose of courage that they’ll be okay with what I write.

Thanks to them for putting up with me.

It takes a huge amount of humor.

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Watch and see

michelle1I am a Scorpio.

No surprise there.

The only reason this has any bearing at all to what I’m about to say is that Scorpios are known to be focused, and determined.

It has been over three months since I gave up internet dating and I have literally not lifted a finger to download any dating apps, click on any email links that appear in my inbox, or swipe right or left.

I’ve left those things behind me, perhaps intuitively sensing that I’m not going to meet anyone through the online dating venue.

Believe it or not, people who use online dating sites may be single but they’re also serial daters – THEY DON’T WANT TO MEET A PARTNER.

They’re happy playing the field.

The last guy I took a chance on left me with a face full of cum.

Therefore, I am still driven to resolve my single status.

I basically HATE not knowing who to take to a wedding, party, etc.

All you coupled up people might bitch about your spouses but at least you know who you’re doing stuff with on a Saturday night.

Maybe you’re stuck having sex with the same person day in and day out, but at least you HAVE someone to get intimate with.

I have no one.

I’ve decided to take a more focused approach to dating.

Here are my goals:

  1. Take the dog to the dog park twice a week.
  2. Have at least one weekly activity with Barbara to keep me sane – even if it’s just brunch.
  3. Reach out to two friends a week to reconnect.
  4. More South Bay Beer Hound activities. I heart beer!
  5. Get out and VOLUNTEER! This is always an EXCELLENT way to look past your own problems to help others.
  6. Take up a hobby – like golf or fishing. I like both activities.
  7. Get out of the house a little more than I usually get out. I tend to be lazy after work and just go home to relax.
  8. Keep going to Burning Man regional events – great places to meet cool, fun, creative people.
  9. Say “yes” more. Be open to new possibilities and stretching myself outside my comfort zone.
  10. Join a writers group to improve my writing and this blog, which I enjoy so much.

Basically, there’s so much I can do to keep busy while still making headway into meeting single men.

Watch and see.

It’s not a birthday party unless someone brings a bag of dicks. . .

img_0649My Pyrate themed birthday party took place on Saturday.

And let me tell you, I was SHOCKED at how many people showed up.

I expected maybe 6. Ten, if I was lucky.

But in the end a whopping 24 showed up.

We went from one table of 8 to 6 tables filled with people.

And everyone was in pyrate garb!

 

img_0644Marina and Todd img_0643Me and Cynthia

 

It was TRULY EXTRAORDINARY!

I got my dance on at The Spot and Cardiff Lounge, restoring my dance sensibility ever since the Blue Dance Nazi took it from me at Decompression SF (full story is HERE).

I’m not a fabulous dancer, but I enjoy dancing. However, you should’ve seen my birthmom dancing, SHE WAS HAVING A GREAT TIME!

I heard over and over again all night how wonderful my mom is, how incredible my mom is, how funny my mom is.

Everybody LOVED her.

I think it’s safe to say she stole the show.

img_0632

Mom and Scott, dancing.

My sister was there, looking beautiful and composed as always, prompting several comments about how we look nothing alike (my sister is half Filipino while I am all cracker).

Barbara was there, in an AMAZING corset, and all night long people mistook her for me. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again – Barbara looks like my little sister.

My brother and sister-in-law showed up to fete me and it was nice to hang out with them for a bit without the littles distracting us.

And Scott, my birthday twin, came all the way from Napa to celebrate “our” birthday. It’s always great to see old friends and I’ve known Scott since I was in preschool.

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Scott and I

So many more friends came and made it festive – Marina and Todd, MP (who gave me an awesome birthday card and present), Cynthia (who dances like a goddess), Kari and Brian (who just got engaged in Italy), Kevin (who let me grab his ass a little), Dante (who let me grab more than just his ass), Steve, Mark and Ariana (who make such a handsome couple), Brad (who had the BEST pirate accessory, a gold earring), Hoot (who was tons of fun to dance with), Bad Boy, Miss S, Kimberly (who gave me a bottle of Zaya rum), and Twisty.

In the end, a good time was had by all, even if we all became a little deaf dancing at the Cardiff Lounge in front of the speakers.

But the best, most funniest moment of the night was when Cynthia gave me a bag of little rubber dicks as a gift.

That’s right.

I got a bag of dicks for my birthday!

img_0640Blowing out the ENORMOUS candle! img_0642Kevin and me
img_0650Me and Dante (Steve and Hoot in the background) Me and Barbara
img_0634Brad and me img_0631Conga line!
img_0627Cynthia, Steve, and Twisty img_0626Brad and my sister Leilani
img_0624Birthday “twins” Scott and Michelle img_0620The newly engaged!

 

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