Second Halloween

For Halloween, I was officially a BAT.

A cute black bat wearing dusty playa boots.

There’s always an homage to Burning Man with me.

Then there’s SECOND HALLOWEEN, which – if you’re lucky – you get to celebrate with your burner friends.

It’s a meeting/party of sorts where guests are invited to wear their Halloween costumes.

Again.

Because you know how us burners LOVE to get dressed up and stand out. . .

So instead of being a bat (which was a fucking hot sweatshirt), I opted to be a leopard.

I wore a leopard jumpsuit, a sweater, and leopard ears.

AND I PAINTED MY FACE LIKE A LEOPARD.

Well. . . a cat.

See!

Happy SECOND HALLOWEEN to me!

Burning Man 2015 Flashback: Human Carcass Wash

Yes, I admit it.

I got naked on the streets of Black Rock City and I went through the Human Carcass Wash.

And I did it rather gleefully.human carcass wash

The Human Carcass Wash is basically a series of 4 basins that you step in sequentially.

Soap. Scrub. Rinse. Squeegee.

human carcass washEach basin is surrounded by 4 naked people, also there to participate in the Human Carcass Wash. The people at the Soap and Rinse basins hold spray bottles, which they use to spray your body down and get you clean. The people at the scrub and squeegee basins use their hands on your body.

Personally, I love the HCW. Everyone is naked and happy and there are always 4 people focusing on you at any given time.

It’s nice to be the center of attention and get cleaned at the same time.

And the water is delightfully chilly and causes you to shiver from your head to your playa encrusted toes.

I went through the Human Carcass Wash with a friend.

He went through the line ahead of me and it was fun to watch him get washed by all these burners as I got washed myself.

The only problem I encountered was at the end when I realized I didn’t have a towel to dry off with and I had to DRIP DRY BEFORE PUTTING ON MY CLOTHES.

It was a little bit nipply out, if you ask me.

But overall, the Human Carcass Wash was tons of fun (no pictures allowed or else I have some to post).

I’d do it again.

Color me happy

Once again, I somehow managed to convince not one but TWO friends that it would be fun to run around on a muddy field throwing paint at each other for Stanford’s Holi celebration.

Poor Barbara and Yvonne.

Truthfully, Barbara knew EXACTLY what she was getting into because she went with me last year.

Yvonne was a total newbie and it was fun introducing her to the CHAOS THAT IS HOLI.

Think Indian music, Bollywood dancing, Indian food, and A WHOLE LOT OF COLOR!

Basically you go to Holi to enjoy this festival of spring by throwing color on all your friends.

A few tips:

  1. Wear sunglasses to protect your eyes.
  2. Keep your mouth closed or you’ll be eating color.
  3. Whatever you do, DON’T GET WET. The dye will set in.
  4. Wear white. It shows off the color to the best advantage.
  5. Have fun and wish everyone a HAPPY HOLI!

Here is our BEFORE photo!

And here we are mid festival:

And finally, what we look like when we exited the festival:
So much fun!

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Me and the Swede

michelleOooooohhhhh.

I talked to the Swede again.

And by talk, I mean text.

And by Swede, I mean genuinely, authentically from Sweden.

He’s tall and handsome and kisses like his life depends on it.

It’s sooooooo good.

We went on a first date a few months ago when he was visiting the Bay Area for work.

We said goodnight without kissing goodbye.

We went on a second date a little later and again said goodbye without kissing goodnight.

Then something came over us on the third date.

Perhaps he figured “why not at least TRY kissing her?”

I know I thought I’d been friend zoned.

Then he kissed me and WOW!

Perfection!

So he’s coming back to the Bay Area in May.

And if he can swing it, he might be here for UnSCruz which I’ve described as a moveable party with fire spinning, music, dance, art, performance, and community.

There’s even a wedding this time around!

I think he was intrigued.

So cross your fingers that he can arrange his travel and make it to UnSCruz.

It’ll be a hell of a time, I’ll tell you that!

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Sext Panther

michelleI am a sext panther.

Why, just the other day, I entertained not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR different men via sexting.

I couldn’t help myself.

It was so good.

It all began when I had the BRILLANT idea of finding someone to draw on me with Sharpies.

My mind immediately went to my friend (he’s single) who is an artist who draws these amazing angular, monochrome drawings of people. Talent!

In any case, I texted him my idea and wound up smack dab in the middle of a conversation about how he and his partner broke a spreader bar the other night during a particularly vigorous sesh.

That was when I lost control and started sexting everyone in my phone.

Because you can only sext with friends for so long until they become MORE THAN FRIENDS and I’m trying to keep it platonic.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Too late, I know.

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen action of any kind and I have to admit, I missed it.

I felt like I was coming hom to my grandma’s house and her tasty meatloaf and cookies, only grandma’s house was cyber space and the meatloaf was pictures of all my goodies.

Now, I do feel SLIGHTLY guilty about partaking in this naughty activity so thoroughly.

I didn’t just dip a toe in, I jumped in full force and spewed a tidal wave of hormones in its wake.

I literally couldn’t help myself.

Each man was so engaging and so much fun to sext with.

Before I knew it, I was sexting all four and HAVING A BLAST!

Not sure if I plan a repeat performance, but for this time being, I AM ONE HAPPY WOMAN!

SoulFire is coming up!

white witch michelleI will be camped out in my tent, Pete, with Tejas.

He didn’t want to bring the RV this time so we’re tenting it.

I’ve got all sorts of costumes to wear:

My rainbow jumpsuit

My see-through kaftan

My white wizard outfit

My light up tutu

I’m totally excited to see what SoulFire brings to me and what I bring to it.

I’ve got gifts to give away – light up rings, SPF30 organic chapstick, AND LED HEART PINS!

Woot!

Last Soulfire I went to I wrote about some friends and got TOTALLY BUSTED!

So this year there will be no posting about SoulFire, save my own escapades there.

I got a little wild last time. We’ll have to see what transpires this time.

Will I hook up with someone new and have a serious makeout sesh?

Will I traipse around naked by the pool and hot tub?

Will I get nicely inebriated and dance my head off?

Chances of all things happening are pretty good, so cross your fingers, say a prayer, and wish the best for me!

‘Cuz it’s gonna be fun!

Finally, an easy adventure!

terrariumSomething new for me to do!

Remember Paint Nite?

You show up at a restaurant, eat and drink while following an artist instructing you on how to paint the featured painting for the night.

Well, now there’s Plant Nite!

You show up at a restaurant, eat and drink while following a gardener instructing you on how to create a succulent terrarium.

I’m totally excited!

The Plant Nite I signed up for is taking place in Santana Row so it’ll be fun to stroll around before and/or after the class and take in the shops and restaurants of Santana Row.

Although quite frankly I’m more interested in LED wired purple faux fur cropped jackets than I am in haute couture.

Burning Man, how you have changed me!

I wear $2 heart sunnies from Forever 21 now instead of $400 Chanel sunglasses.

In any case, I’m super duper happy because I found a coupon code that took $15 off the cost of Plant Nite (PLANTHERE35) in case any of you want to use it at plantnite.com.

Finally, an adventure that doesn’t requite me to put on a wetsuit, take an anti anxiety pill, or wear closed toed shoes.

I can live with this!

The post that ends with me doing the splits in a restaurant

IMG_9184From kindergarten to 8th grade, I attended a private school in Saratoga, California.

Most of my friends were friends for years.

I don’t remember too much about that time, except putting notes in my shirt pocket, hoping the boys would see them and “take” them away.

Life was pretty drama-free, so I tried to create a little.

Can you blame a girl?

Truth be told, I was interested in boys but they weren’t interested in me.

So…sigh… the notes.

Yes, I was an bumbling little thing with a funky feathered haircut and a little too much baby fat.

IMG_9194Over the years, I lost touch with most of my classmates, only to reconnect years later in the “Facebook Era.”

Yesterday, a group of us got together.

David, Jenny, Rusty, Manisha, Christy, and me.

David and Jenny used to crush on each other.  Christy used to crush on Rusty.  Rusty is newly single.  Manisha talked about being the lone Indian girl in a school full of white kids. We talked about everyone we knew from grade school and how they were doing.

And then there was me.

Awkward still.  Telling off-color stories.  Like the time I peed my pants in an Uber ride.

Oh God, did I REALLY tell that story?!

So I did what any gal would do to distract from my awkwardness.

I did the splits.

You can take the girl out of middle school but you can’t take the middle school out of the girl.

IMG_9187

 

Heaven & Hell

The Heaven & Hell (aka Angels & Demons) party was incredible.

As usual.

There were LOTS OF DEMONS and only a few angels.

One birthday girl dressed up as a devil in the blue dress. The other birthday girl was a black demon.

My costume came together nicely, including the black garters I wore with thigh high stockings.  Later, Tejas attempted to show a new friend how the clips on garters work so I lifted my skirt to demonstrate.  However, he couldn’t get them to work and I wasn’t about to stand there with my skirt up waiting patiently for him to figure it out.  Next time, Tejas.  🙂

IMG_8879It took me a good 30 minutes to get my black sclera contact lenses into my eyes. Here I am with one lens in:

scleraTejas took me to the party, even though he wasn’t feeling well. He was dressed as a priest with a full Roman collar, plus a kilt. And I have it on good authority that he was going regimental under that kilt.

michelle and tejasWhen we arrived, with tequila and Fireball in hand, a woman was setting up the catering for the event and she did an awesome job. There was a ton of food for everyone to nosh on.

And the costumes? Oh, the costumes.

One guy wore his devils tail in the front, cuz…. you know.

Another partygoer had on a white jumpsuit with a halo which he had built himself with flashing lights.

Another guest wore red vinyl pants with black fur trim. AND YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT VINYL!!!

Wings were de rigeur, with everyone, including myself, sporting a pair.

michelleSadly, before the festivities got really underway I had to leave because Tejas started to have an allergy attack.

But there was fire spinning, flogging, and lots and lots of shenanigans.

Too. Much. Fun.

Pleasure Party

After working a 12 hour day, I decided to take a detour on my way home and stop by my friend Melissa’s Pleasure Party.

It was a treat to hang out with an eclectic bunch of women fascinated by a discussion of all things pleasurable.

Our pleasure consultant was knowledgeable, skilled, and funny which is a prerequisite if you’e going to give a sex talk.

Much humor is needed.

 Also needed are jello shots…

 Our consultant had a whole table of toys including Lelo, bullets, oils, massage creams, candles, vibrators, dildos, and more.

My favorite part of the evening was when the consultant demonstrated how a little sleeve called Mimi could make giving a blow job that much easier.

All in all, a great time was had by everyone.  And I got to see my girl crush.

That was worth the price of admission.

So what did I buy?

Lotions, potions, and things that go BUZZ in the night.

Happy girl!