I’m going to a HOLIDAY PARTY!
One of many, I hope.
This one is with my old colleagues.
Ye Old Guard, as we like to call ourselves.
Kudos to my bosses for creating a community at work that endures to this day.
Anyway, every year we get together and share stories and swap ornaments/hand made gifts.
Last year, I didn’t get the “ornament memo” and I was the ONLY PERSON who showed up without any gifts for my former colleagues.
I had to scramble to get ornaments and mail them to everyone.
This year, I’ve prepared myself ahead of time:
With UGLY SWEATER ORNAMENTS:
Aren’t they AWFUL (and cute)?
And festive holiday envelopes for wrapping:
Which I will decorate with a beautiful, edible “poinsettia” flower lollipop.
I’m THE BOMB!
I’d like to pause in the middle of my onslaught on Valentine’s Day to bring you this DELICIOUS post:
We all have at least one beer lover in our lives.
In my case the beer lover is me.
I’m a fan of that magical mixture of hops, grains and yeast.
I’m so much of a fan that I took Homebrew 101: Steeped Grains and Homebrew 102: Whole Grains classes in the city last year.
Here are some of my favorite beer accessories – some things that made me laugh, some things that made my mouth water, and some things I found just plain silly.
Zero affiliate links.
Brewtiful tee. Isn’t beer brewtiful?
Pour the perfect black and tan, or are you a purist?
Save Water Drink Beer tee
Custom bottle opener
Drunk on patios pint glass
Irish You Were Beer tee
What the F**k Should I Make for Dinner book
In Dog Beers tee
Valentine or Beer?
You would not BELIEVE how fun a burner* birthday party is.
I went to a party this past weekend in Livermore. Two longtime burners, twins so-to-speak, were sharing a birthday party.
As I lounged in the backyard amid big fluffy kitties and a nice little fire pit, I got to watch some spinners practice their art.
Watermelon poi. Squirrel poi. It was a BLAST!
The party was thumping. People were dancing. I was sure one of the neighbors would call the cops.
But it appears the neighbors were chill with the action because no cops showed up. I can’t tell you how impressive that is considering that there was live fire dancing in the street. Woot!
The twins sat down to open presents and since it was an F-word themed party (everything needed to start with the letter f – feather, fur, flowers, etc) our gifts to the birthday girls were things like frou frou, fascinators, and frames. My favorite present had to be a framed picture of FUCKING FLAMINGOS. As in flamingos in the act of fucking. It was AWESOME!
Of course, I brought FLOWERS for the birthday girls and I wore faux fur, feathers, and flip flops.
All in all, it was SO MUCH FUCKING FUN!
But the BEST present of the night?
*And by burner I mean Burning Man burner not 420 burner. Some people get confused.
It’s going to become a tradition on my blog for me to troll Etsy for fabulous and creative Anti-Valentine’s Day gifts. Without further adieu… a few really great Anti-Valentine’s Day items (with links), for the hater in you:
Put a bandaid on your broken heart.
Give the perfect A-V Day bouquet of cookies.
Give someone a meaningful card.
Don’t forget to be honest in your communications.
Remember, it’s okay to drink a lot.
But be clear about how you feel about yourself.
Love is a danger zone.
We all know what you’re really after.
So don’t be one of these:
Or one of these:
Yes, it’s true that Valentine’s Day is crap.
So just relax.
But don’t forget…
I’ve been thinking about Anti-Valentine’s Day and how it seems like a lot more fun than Valentine’s Day.
I took the liberty of putting together some swag for Anti-Valentine’s Day which I found incredibly entertaining.
Hope you enjoy…
And of course what kind of holiday would it be if you didn’t have a glass to toast with?
Because drinking is par for the course on Anti-Valentine’s Day.
But don’t be too hard on yourself. Indulge in a little self love.
Because don’t forget a little bitterness is in order.
And remember, you’re one bad ass bitch.
So embrace your inner witch.
A broken heart isn’t the end of the world.
So don’t go playing with one of these
And if all else fails…
Happy Fucking Valentine’s Day to you.
“Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it’s just another way to bleed” ~ Laurell Hamilton