Le sigh

First Saturday night on the playa.

I envisioned myself sitting in camp, socializing with friends into the wee hours of the morning.

Laughing.

Telling jokes.

Or perhaps hopping on my bike and taking a little tour of our growing city.

I DEFINITELY didn’t picture what happened.

I drank TOO MUCH gin TOO QUICKLY and had to go to bed.

Le sigh.

Tejas, on the other hand, stayed out all night and didn’t return until the sun was coming up.

Le stud.

Drinking may cause pregnancy

Just so you know, drinking beer or wine or distilled spirits may actually cause pregnancy.

IMG_8520The Israeli and I were forewarned at St. George Distillery in Alameda on Sunday afternoon.

We went for a tour, what we got was more like a comedy show, with some booze thrown in for fun.

IMG_8521Turns out, the process for making spirits starts out the same for making beer – take your base fruit/grain and mix with a strain of yeast and allow to ferment.

Distilling spirits then goes a step past fermentation and actually distills (or differentially boils) the alcoholic mash to concentrate and collect the alcohol to make spirits.

IMG_8522Brandy, Absinthe, Vodka, Liqueur, and Gin – in the case of St. George Distillery.

Sometimes they make Rum and Whiskey.

The whole process is overseen by Cordelia, the great white shark who is the model for the shark in the movie Deep Blue. Strange but true fact.

IMG_8525Vodka is characterized by the distillation process it goes through.

Gin is characterized by the presence of juniper berries.

Absinthe is characterized by distillation with anise, wormwood, and fennel. Then additional herbs are steeped in it to make absinthe.

IMG_8526And that’s all I remember from the tour.

It was fascinating to see all the different steps involved in making spirits. It takes 30 pears to make a bottle of pear brandy. Pretty amazing!

The Israeli and I had a great time.

I loved translating words that he didn’t understand, like “steep”, and he liked sampling the spirits when the tour was over.

We sat in his car on a cold and windy day in Alameda and ate sandwiches to sober up before going anywhere.

I have to say, I had a great time and so did The Israeli.

He wants to do it again at another distillery and make a weekend out of it.

Who knows?

3 beers + 3 gin martinis = one drunk Michelle

The most notable part about my weekend this past weekend is that I got smashed. Trashed. Blottoed. Is that even a word?

I didn’t intend to and I blame the fact that I switched from drinking beer to drinking gin about halfway through the night.

But let’s start at the beginning.

I decided to attend my first Stantacon – a party where a group of people get dressed like Santa in festive holiday attire and go en mass from one pub to the next bringing holiday spirit and cheer while consuming alcoholic beverages.  I put together an appropriate outfit – black boots, fishnet tights, white tutu, red velvet corset with white maribou feather trim, and of course a Santa hat.

IMG_8478Our path was all laid out – first we went to Aloft Bar, then Whole Foods (who were INCREDIBLY HOSPITABLE), followed by The Monte Vista Inn, and finally landing at The Blue Pheasant.

Everyone was dressed up in various Santa garb. My favorite was a duo – a flattened grandma and the reindeer who ran her over. Perfect! Love everyone’s creativity!

I got run over by the reindeer myself… note the hoof print on my chest!

IMG_8484At Paul & Eddie’s, I switched from drinking beer to drinking 4 olive gin martinis.

And that’s what did me in.

By the time we got to The Blue Pheasant, I was incapable of using my phone to arrange for a Lyft so I had to get a ride home from a nice gentleman who was kind enough to offer me a ride.

And then I was too drunk to give him directions.

He had to use an app to get me home.

Sigh.

I’m really embarrassed to say that I actually remember farting in his car on the ride home.

HUMILIATION!!!

Jesus, was I DRUNK!

So lesson learned: Santacon is a marathon, not a sprint.

Drink accordingly!

Consolation

photo-30On the downside:

All the lingerie I ordered online arrived at my house today and I have no one to wear it for 😦

On the upside:

I forgot to give Edward the bottle of gin I bought to make a “Gin & Tonic” gift basket for his birthday, so I am now enjoying a refreshing gin and tonic 🙂

Life is all about the framing!