Burning Man Essentials: Accessories

 

LED hair accessories.  Fun and functional. Glow in the dark skeleton hands – fun and creepy!
Lightweight backpack for gear/water on the playa. Less lightweight but more stylish backpack if you’re inclined to go that way.
FAUX FUR fox tail.  Cheeky! Lightweight parasol.  To protect you from the blazing hot sun.
Tribal necklace.  Instant outfit. Furry leg warmers.  Very cute for playa bunnies.
Furry RAINBOW leg warmers.  Hardcore! Fishnet gloves.  Easy accessory.
Long fishnet gloves.  Perfect with almost anything. Shoulder holster.  Looks great on men and women.
Leather utility belt.  You need space to stash your stuff. Holographic/iridescent fanny pack.  For the ladies.
Men’s tactical fanny pack. Pasties.  Enough said.
Festival hat (this one is mine). Burning Man hat.  Can’t believe you can buy this on Amazon!
Steampunk hat.  Stylish on men and women! Cyber locks.  For when you’re having a bad hair day.
Dread falls.  Like cyber locks but with yarn. Keychain/pendant.  Can’t believe you can buy this on etsy!
Men’s harness. Edgy! Women’s harness.  Perfect peeking out under a tank top or over a bikini.
White wige – to save you from a bad hair day. Ombre wig.  Complete your outfit with a colorful wig!
Antlers.  Doh! Iconic Burning Man look on Pinterest.  Buy the top on etsy here.
See iconic Burning Man look., above  Get tribal necklace. Pixel boa.  Because sometimes a light up jacket is just too hot!

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Burning Man Essentials: Accessories

 

LED hair accessories.  Fun and functional. Glow in the dark skeleton hands – fun and creepy!
Lightweight backpack for gear/water on the playa. Less lightweight but more stylish backpack if you’re inclined to go that way.
FAUX FUR fox tail.  Cheeky! Lightweight parasol.  To protect you from the blazing hot sun.
Tribal necklace.  Instant outfit. Furry leg warmers.  Very cute for playa bunnies.
Furry RAINBOW leg warmers.  Hardcore! Fishnet gloves.  Easy accessory.
Long fishnet gloves.  Perfect with almost anything. Shoulder holster.  Looks great on men and women.
Leather utility belt.  You need space to stash your stuff. Holographic/iridescent fanny pack.  For the ladies.
Men’s tactical fanny pack. Pasties.  Enough said.
Festival hat (this one is mine). Burning Man hat.  Can’t believe you can buy this on Amazon!
Steampunk hat.  Stylish on men and women! Cyber locks.  For when you’re having a bad hair day.
Dread falls.  Like cyber locks but with yarn. Keychain/pendant.  Can’t believe you can buy this on etsy!
Men’s harness. Edgy! Women’s harness.  Perfect peeking out under a tank top or over a bikini.
White wige – to save you from a bad hair day. Ombre wig.  Complete your outfit with a colorful wig!
Antlers.  Doh! Iconic Burning Man look on Pinterest.  Buy the top on etsy here.
See iconic Burning Man look., above  Get tribal necklace. Pixel boa.  Because sometimes a light up jacket is just too hot!

Contains affiliate links.

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Things you forget to bring when fishing

  1. Chapstick.  Thanks to the wind and the sun, I now have chapped lips.
  2.  Hats.  I brought a beanie to keep warm.  Turns out that staying warm was less of a problem than keeping cool.  And what you really need is a hat with a brim to keep the sun out of your eyes.
  3.  Sunglasses.  Fuck, it was HOT and SUNNY out there on the water.  I was anticipating overcast skies and cool temperatures.  Boy, was I wrong.  I think I burned the backs of my eyeballs.
  4.  Anti-anxiety medication.  I was once on a boat that was sinking.  The captain couldn’t get the pump to start and we were taking on water.  So I always stress when I’m on a boat.  This time around, I clenched my jaw so hard that I feel like I’ve given a thousand blow jobs.  That’s how sore my jaw is right now.
  5.  Sunblock.  This one is a no brainer, but as it turns out, it is rather SUNNY out there on the water and if you don’t reapply sunblock you could wind up with a really wonky sunburned face, just like me.
  6.  Coolers/Ice.  For your catch.  Another no brainer but all three of us who drove up from the south bay forgot to bring a cooler for our fish.
  7.  Cough drops.  Because you’ve got that horrible post viral cough that won’t go away and when you’re on a fishing boat, gagging because you’re coughing too hard is interpreted as gagging because you’re about to be seasick.  Very undignified.
  8.  Gloves.  It’s freezing cold in the morning and ALL OF US forgot gloves.  Crazy, I know!
  9.  Beer.  None of us brought beer, which is sort of a requirement for fishing.  Makes the hours of waiting for a nibble more tolerable.  Mental note:  next time, bring beer.
  10. Water.  It’s DEHYDRATING out there on the water.  And I didn’t bring ANY water.  What was I thinking?

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Big and bald

baldApparently, I have a thing for big, bald men.

Lately all the men I meet seem to have two things in common:

  • They’re tall
  • They’re bald

Now, there’s nothing wrong with either. Obviously I have a thing for both (hello Bruce Willis, Billy Zane, and Patrick Stewart).

But I’ve noticed that a lot of these men post pictures of themselves online with lots of hats on.

In one picture, Mr. Britain is wearing a top hat. In another he’s wearing a beanie. And in yet another, a bowler.

It takes a good three or four pictures before I realize he’s bald.

And that’s more than okay with me.

I love palming a nice, smooth head while I’m kissing someone.

And those trim little spiky hairs feel so good against my skin if they rub their head against my… ahem… body.

But the hats?

Why so many hats?

I suppose bald men like to cover up their cranium to protect their heads from the elements. Without the protection of hair there, sunburns and windburn can happen so easily.

Don’t get me wrong, I like hats.

If I fall in love with you it’s a guarantee that at some point I will knit you a ribbed wool beanie for your noggin.

I only have one prejudice against hats.

Flat brimmed baseball caps.

It’s unnatural for a 40 something year old man to wear a flat brimmed baseball cap.

It just looks out of place.

Flat brimmed caps are for my 14 and 16 year old sons. Not people who are old enough to have voted for Reagan.

So by all means, shave your head. I like bald. Wear a hat even. But watch out for those flat brimmed ball caps.

Nothing kills my lady boner faster.