It’s been a long time since I thought about Charlie the Aussie.
Charlie was named after ALL HIS RELATIVES.
His had one first name – Charles – and 7 middle names.
If it sounds like he was royalty, that’s because he was royalty.
He was a Knight in the Order of Australia, an honor he received because he crewed a sailboat that sailed from Australia to the Orient (I’m not sure where, this detail has escaped me) as part of an anniversary celebration.
Charlie was magnificent.
He would run marathons in the wilderness.
He could sail ships (obviously) and if you blindfolded him and dropped him off in the desert with a Snickers and a liter of water, he would FIND HIS WAY BACK HOME, no big deal.
Needless to say, I really adored Charlie.
Sadly however, Charlie did not adore me back.
He had a wife (he was separated, not divorced) and a special needs son and in the end, Charlie went back to his wife and he quickly became just a fond memory for me.
So why do I bring him up now?
Well, Facebook has somehow figured out that I know him and keeps flashing his face for me to “add as a friend.”
Facebook knows what I shopped online for two days ago.
They flash it in my sidebar.
They also know what I had for dinner last night.
And they like to remind me of it daily.
So I’m surprised that Facebook hasn’t figured out a way to keep ex-boyfriends from showing up in your “Potential Friends” list.
That way lies nothing but sorrow.
I’m waiting for Facebook to figure out that I’m moved on from Aussies to Swedes.
Don’t remind me of Aussie disappointments.
Show me some Viking porn.