A few funnies to tickle your funny bone this Christmas:
Let’s face it, not very many people like Valentine’s Day. So if it’s got you down, here’s a girl’s guide to surviving THE WORST holiday ever created.
Remember to celebrate your friends with an appropriately worded card:
Don’t forget you can always “opt out” of the holiday entirely:
But if you want to still be a part of the holiday, don’t fret. Everyone knows LOVE SUCKS:
Plenty of other people have black hearts on Valentine’s Day:
So you might as well ADORN yourself with the sentiment:
Don’t be afraid to express how you feel:
Really put it out there:
So that everyone can see:
And remember to celebrate what makes you happy:
Because you are a BAD ASS BITCH:
There’s no such thing as PERFECT so learn to COMPROMISE:
Don’t be afraid to celebrate life’s little adequacies:
Ultimately, you are EVERYTHING you need:
And remember, I’m not yours. You’re not mine. Be my Anti-Valentine:
It’s that time a year AGAIN!
Not only is it my FAVORITE holiday (Christmas), it’s also time for all the Santa Cons to commence.
So get your red Santa suits ready to party because it’s the season for a festive bar crawl!
I personally love going to Santa Cons.
Not just because I love dressing up.
Or because I get to meet cool new people.
No, I like Santa Con because it’s fun to see all the looks on people’s faces when we show up en masse with all our holiday costumes on!
Little kids love seeing us as we dash from bar to bar.
The awe struck looks on their faces says it all.
And because I do it every year, Santa Cons have just become a hallmark of the holiday season for me.
Like breathing in and breathing out.
This year, I’m supposed to go to two Santa Cons – Santa Cruz and San Jose.
Last year I was a reindeer.
The year before that I was The Grinch.
And the year before that I was Mrs. Claus.
Heaven knows what I’ll pull together this year.
But given my collection of costumes, I’VE DEFINITELY GOT OPTIONS.
So if you feel like going merrily along your way, look up Santa Cons in your neighborhood and join in one.
I guarantee you’ll be in the holiday spirit in no time!
It’s the holiday season which means I’m in full present-buying mode.
I’m totally on the prowl for awesome gifts I can give to my family and friends.
I click on every Gift Idea List that I cross paths with – Amazon, Forbes, blog-based lists – you name it, I’ve been there.
The funny thing is that I still shop for my ex-boyfriends.
The other day, I saw a beautiful crab fabric on Spoonflower and instantly thought of my ex who had a thing for crabs.
In my mind, I was sewing crab pajamas for him.
And, of course the minute I see hot sauce I think of The Swede who is happily coupled up with a lovely Swedish lady.
I’ve never known someone to be as into spicy foods as he is.
I’m not sure how he still has a stomach lining.
Must be all that Viking food!
Naturally, even though I get the impulse to gift my exes, I never follow through.
That would just be sheer lunacy!
But the urge is there, every time I spot something PERFECT for someone I used to date I think, “Oh, he’d be so thrilled to get this!”
Even after all these years, habits are still hard to break.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Here’s hoping you and your loved ones are celebrating a very Merry Christmas today.
It’s been quite a year, filled with lots of change and I’m sure there’s more to come.
But for now, I’m with my family, I’m happy, and that’s enough for me!
Love to you all!
The most notable part about my weekend this past weekend is that I got smashed.
Is that even a word?
I didn’t intend to and I blame the fact that I switched from drinking beer to drinking gin about halfway through the night.
But let’s start at the beginning.
I decided to attend my first Santa Con – a party where a group of people get dressed like Santa in festive holiday attire and go en mass from one pub to the next bringing holiday spirit and cheer while consuming alcoholic beverages. I put together an appropriate outfit – black boots, fishnet tights, white tutu, red velvet corset with white maribou feather trim, and of course a Santa hat.
Our path was all laid out – first we went to Aloft Bar, then Whole Foods (who were INCREDIBLY HOSPITABLE), followed by The Monte Vista Inn, and finally landing at The Blue Pheasant.
Everyone was dressed up in various Santa garb. My favorite was a duo – a flattened grandma and the reindeer who ran her over. Perfect! Love everyone’s creativity!
I got run over by the reindeer myself… note the hoof print on my chest!
At Paul & Eddie’s, I switched from drinking beer to drinking 4 olive gin martinis.
And that’s what did me in.
By the time we got to The Blue Pheasant, I was incapable of using my phone to arrange for a Lyft so I had to get a ride home from a nice gentleman who was kind enough to offer me a ride.
And then I was too drunk to give him directions.
He had to use an app to get me home.
I’m really embarrassed to say that I actually remember farting in his car on the ride home.
Jesus, was I DRUNK!
So lesson learned: Santa Con is a marathon, not a sprint.
The Campbell Santa Rampage has come and gone, but it’s left a lasting impression in my memory.
Imagine a room FILLED with red Santa Clauses, the Ghost of Christmas Past, Elves, and (of course) reindeer.
I had an online meeting right before the Rampage, so I sat in my room, with my camera turned off and attended the meeting WHILE I PAINTED MY FACE LIKE A REINDEER.
Personally, I think it turned out pretty good!
All in all, I’d say about 60 – 100 people showed up and lit up downtown Campbell with cheer and good will.
We had a great little loop of restaurants, pubs, arcades, and clubs:
I stuck to beer the whole time (with the exception of a few sake bombs) and I had a blast.
My son picked me up at the end and took me home to chill and enjoy all the pictures from the Rampage being posted to social media.
All in all, a GREAT time.
Can’t wait for next year!
It’s Santa Con time and I’m totally EXCITED!
What could be better than dressing up like Santa Claus, or putting on another festive costume, and going from bar to bar, sipping on libations?
Nothing, I tell you!
How I managed to make it through 42 years of my life without knowing about Santa Cons I will never know.
I only learned about Santa Con through the burners.
They are always up for a good dress up party!
Here I am at my first Santa Con in 2015:
It was (I think) the first annual Cupertino Santa Con.
We started at the W XYZ bar and made our way through Whole Foods’ Beer Garden where they fed us tasty free food, before landing at the Blue Pheasant for dancing.
Since then I’ve done NUMEROUS Santa Cons.
Campbell is my favorite because all the bars are so close together and the company is EXTRAORDINARY.
In 2016, I went as the Grinch, just to be green, instead of red, and I talked Barbara into going as well.
But last year was the best.
In part because I spontaneously ran into old high school friends of mine, and in part because I loved my Santa Claus-ette costume:
What you have to remember is that there are anywhere from 20 – 50 of us, all dressed up and ready for fun.
We walk around from bar to bar and it’s not so crowded that we can’t manage to grab a drink before we progress on to the next bar.
It’s so festive and really puts me in the holiday spirit.
The only Santa Con I haven’t done is the San Francisco Santa Con.
There’s A LOT of people who participate in that and I’ve heard it’s impossible to get a drink.
Every year I think I might go, and every year I chicken out.
However, I should rethink my stance on the SF Santa Con because there’s even a Santa Con train that take people from the South Bay to the City for Santa Con and you can drink and carouse with your friends on the train.
So. . . .
I LOVE Pinterest.
There’s nothing quite like having a board with all your links organized by theme on the internet.
Sadly, I’ve discovered some of those links no longer work after a few months or so and it becomes obsolete.
I have a Pinterest board with gift ideas for my family which is VERY outdated.
The links BARELY work.
But the ideas are still there.
So I’ve looked up my favorites in Amazon and am posting them here where I can have easy access to them.
Feel free to poach ideas from this list.
I am a master at giving fun, relevant gifts to friends and family.
I bought a custom mug for The Swede and he loves it. Customize one for any beer lover. And let’s face it, who isn’t?! $22
Get a journal for any budding writer (or blogger). $11
Wine flight, for the wine enthusiast. $35
I have family members who would slay for this game. $29